Okay, so I worked really hard to disappear off the grid of my family, but then my brother get's in touch with me and tells me that he is getting married in June of this year (I knew they were engaged, but I didn't get any kind of invitation up until yesterday, and then it was a message on facebook!) So, all I get is 'We know that you don't want to be anywhere near your mom and sister, but this is a day that's not about you... it's about us so you should suck it up and come to our wedding.' And, yes, that is exactly what was told to me! So, I'm already a little mad because they are trying to guilt trip me into going and I don't know why they still use this tactic because it didn't work for the holidays when they told me they would invite my daughter if I showed up and shouldn't I think about my daughter before I think about myself? Haha. I told them that I was thinking about my daughter. I didn't want her to see her own family putting down her mother and treating her so badly in front of her. So, no, I didn't go then. But, now... my boyfriend says I should go. And he wants to go with me.
I'm just curious, since I got such a weird invitation in the first place and my family KNOWS that I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. Is it proper of me to go ahead and ask them if I can bring a plus one? Most events in the family it has always been understood that a plus one is involved. But, I know that wedding invitations are a little different because of how much money goes into planning them. But, I also know that there won't be any other single people at this wedding because everyone in my family has a significant other at this time and none of them would dream of leaving that person behind. I just don't know if it's proper to ASK them if I can bring my boyfriend along.
I figured that if they want to guilt trip me into going that maybe it would be okay to say something like 'Well, I would be willing to go, if my boyfriend can come too. I know this is your big day and it's all about you. But, you can't possibly be selfish enough to expect me to be the ONLY person in the family to show up without a date. And you are inviting the gay pride parade to your wedding, so I don't really see what difference one more person would make.' But, that sounds kind of mean and low down. So, lol, I'll think it up a storm to make me feel better. But, I don't think that I should say that in so many words.
What would be the best way for me to tackle this issue? I don't want to go without my boyfriend at all because I need his support. For #1 Dealing with the ignorant people in my family. #2 The grief I will be feeling at seeing a girl that DOES NOT DESERVE IT, getting to grow through a rite of passage I will never have. I can't go without him.
As a side note I would like to say that I have no problem with anyone that is homosexual at all. I have many dear friends of that orientation and I have even dated women before myself (not in a creepy party college kind of way... but with the understanding that you can't help who you fall in love with and who am I to say who would make me most happy without giving it a try?) I just mentioned it as I did because most of the people in my family are outright homophobes and it just seems a little weird to invite a vast group of people that you don't know... who don't have the legal right to get married to your wedding where there is going to be a lot of people that downright hate them.