Discontent and the Rolling of the Eyes ~ ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Cycle 16 Blog (ANTM)

At the top of the show Tyra went to the models’ apartment and gave them a lesson about fashion archetypes (the bombshell, the girl next door, and the editorial girl).  Then she proceeded to explain how to handle fame – the dos and don’ts for beginners.  I will give Banks and the producers credit because these are the sorts of things the girls really do need to know if they are 1) going to continue in a career in modeling and 2) how to handle their fifteen minutes in the spotlight.  Banks also receives bonus points for wearing such a cute and fashion forward causal top to give her lessons, however I must take back her bonus points for wearing a hideous jumpsuit to judging. 

 

                The award challenge involved the models meeting and greeting their fan base out in the Southern California sun at Century City.  A few of them did a really great job taking to heart what Tyra had told them earlier.  A few of them were H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E looking bored and easily distracted.  The queen of ‘Above It All’ was Monique who finally stood out this week for being wretched.  She revealed earlier in the episode, when she was peanut butter and jelly of Hannah for winning the last challenge, she was from a small town best known for winning the state basketball championship back in the 1950s.  She has an annoying cadence to her voice which wasn’t helped when she put down her hometown and talked about getting the hell out of it which I found to be brave talk for the girl who probably was known as the prettiest in her school, but with the worst personality. 

 

                    While the fans came around the models, Monique looked down at her nails while Kasia charmed them.  The only time Monique glanced up was when some mid management at Walmart type of guy tried to flirt with her and asked her for a kiss.  In true ‘Mean Girl’ fashion, which even I have to admit showed a little wit, she sent him to Alexandria telling him that she would surely give him a big wet smacker-roo.  Alexandria was of course offended and during one of her confessional segments vowed that she would get even, however after trying to dazzle the man with the knowledge that her boyfriend at the moment is a cage fighter she went ahead and gave him a peck on the cheek.  Later when Miss J was reviewing the girls’ performances she made a complaint about Monique telling the dweeb she would kiss him, obviously hoping that Monique would receive some kind of scolding, but Miss J replied and I paraphrase, “Well isn’t that what you did, kiss him?”  Burn. 

 

             A tick later he explained that you never want to kiss fans like that because if they have stalking tendencies that might set them off – good advice. 

 

             The elimination challenge this week involved the girls getting in bikinis and then being coated with mud everywhere but their face and hair.  They were divided into two teams; blondes versus brunettes.  I can’t flat out say that either side won because the winner and the model sent home were both from Team Brunette. 

 

                 Molly was back on her game this week.  She finally got the bane of her existence, the weave from hell, out of her hair.  She was a bit mopey about how her head hurt complaining she was suffering from a rash, but Tyra told her that was fairly common in a weave and to buck up, which prompted my friend, whom I tend to watch this show with, Ms. Cindy to respond, “Why would anyone get a weave if they cause headaches and give you hair rashes?”  I didn’t know how to respond, so if you care to clue us in then I would be happy to hear from you in the comments.   However back to Molly’s world, I thought she looked beautiful in the shoot and she seems happier with the hair she began the competition with.  Ms. Cindy isn’t a big fan of hers and thinks that like Monique she rolls her eyes too much, but she’s still in my good graces. 

 

                 I won’t leave you in suspense, the judges sent Monique and her eye rolls back to the small hell on earth from which she arose – one can presume.  You can always tell which girls are going to either be in the top or bottom from the focal point of the episode.  We all knew something big was going to happen to Monique.  I decided that the producers simply couldn’t stand her anymore and every time she did her signature eye roll and sideway glance they captured it on film making the TV audience almost celebratory when she was given the heave ho. 

 

             Brittani won best photo.  Good for her because next week it looks like she has a meltdown that will be played every time there is some sort of best moments of ‘Top Model’ show.  It’s against Alexandria so it might be justified. 

 

             Hannah did okay.  The judges thought she was not one of the strongest in the blonde photo, but she was safe. 

 

            Oh Alexandria, she was finally called to the mat by André Leon Talley who called that atrocious almost war crime worthy hat that she wears all the time, a ‘bonnet’ with drekitude.  I love that he uses a predominately British word for hat on an American show…I’m fairly sure that most of the models probably didn’t even know what he meant at first by bonnet.  I’m glad someone said something however she really has icky hair so I understand why she prefers to cover it up.  What is the deal with her hair anyway?  Didn’t she get some root touchup when the cast was having their makeovers?  Her hair is limp and when she is in front of the judges she always looks a hot mess despite the fact that she must be trying to look presentable.  Although she was afraid that Mr. Jay was going to tattle on her for directing the shot, it was all for naught.  The judges didn’t like her picture but she didn’t end up one of the bottom two.

 

            Jaclyn, was one of the top performers this week.  When the judges asked her how she thought she did she said that she wished her body was more relaxed.  Really, she seems like such a sweetheart.  I hope she is one of the finalist.

 

            Kasia won the fan challenge, much to the eye roll of Monique.  She was also called out early for her photo.  I don’t think she is going to win the top prize but I think she is making a splash where it matters.  She comes across as a charming model that I’m sure will book several campaigns due to her exposure on ‘Top Model’.  I could be wrong however about her winning since ‘Vogue Italia’ is famous in the industry for using what is commonly referred to as ‘plus side models’ but for most of us is the size we wish we could shrink down to. 

 

            Mikaela actually showed that she had a personality this week and you know what?  I liked what she showed.  I don’t think she will get much further in the competition, but I no longer think she is that proverbial bump on a log.  She landed in the bottom two but because Monique might have been such an eye rolling pain in the producers side Mikaela remained. 

 

             For more info be sure to check out the official website for ‘ANTM’.  Here is a list of my blog entries for cycle 16 thus far.

 

‘America’s Next Top Model’ Turns Sweet Sixteen ~ ‘ANTM’ Cycle 16 Blog

Psychotherapy and Stick Figures ~ ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Cycle 16 (ANTM) Blog

Makeovers and Busted Up Weaves ~ ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Cycle 16 (ANTM) Blog

Setting Models on Fire While They Strut Down the Runway ~ ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Cycle 16 Blog (ANTM)

Faux Furs and Rachel Zoe ~ ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Cycle 16 Blog (ANTM)

 

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