The End Of The World: (Humor)

When you look at the TV and read the news, you can see that there is a prevailing theory that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. That phrase is one that my father often used, and it is difficult, at times of late to argue for a more positive destination.

Now you have to understand that, according to my wife, I’ve always been a negative ninny. In my retirement she has patiently tried to train me not to see the world through a set of glasses where fire and brimstone flicker bright along the edges, but to visualize an image of flower filled meadows surrounding me as I plod through the fields of life, all the while emphasizing that I should concentrate on smelling the roses, so to speak.

Her patience has been amazing, especially considering that I grew up with the concept in my head that God created the world just to get even with me when I wasn’t looking.

It’s sort of weird perspective when you think about it, since I often painted myself as a victim whose importance is second only to God, and then I picture God as a “Gotcha” type of deity who just got tired of creating universes and decided to concentrate instead on picking on me.

One by one my wife has exorcised those demons from my head with the patience of a saint. I’m her project in this life, and she figures if she can succeed with me, then she has earned a first class seat to her next incarnation. It’s in a place where I’m hoping she envisions me as her “boy toy.”

I had almost climbed out of that self dug hole until I opened up the paper today and found out that the world is going to end on May 21^st.

Now I know that the end of the world has been predicted every few years, and often by the same predictor, but this time the guy says he has it right. Eight weeks from now a few people are going to be whisked off this earth to rapture, and the rest of us are in for some pretty hard times.

Now after all of my wife's hard work I don’t want to sound like I’m whining, but what really ticks me off about this upcoming event is that I’m never going to get to see the last Harry Potter movie. It's been a long time since I read the book and I’ve forgotten who wins.