by JOHN BECK
Member since:
August 27, 2008

Take My Camel~ an Anapeat for Genre Shorties Week 54

March 14, 2011 02:04 PM UTC (Updated: March 14, 2011 02:05 PM UTC)
views: 0 | 26 people recommend this | comments: 88

 

“Take my camel, Dear

I will return soon

Please give him water

Be careful, he spits

Help yourself to olives


Feet are so important.

Take my camel, Dear

Notice how they flare

When he steps down

On the desert sand


Your feet are different

Not made for desert

Take my camel, Dear

Learn from his feet

When you choose shoes.


Those heels are much

Too sharp and high

To walk with confidence

Take my camel, Dear

Notice:  no high heels


So Tracy, please stay

I will buy shoes

I know your size

You ask what color?

Take my camel, Dear.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
100 words (25 lines of 4 words each--duh!)
The prompt:

Because turnabout is fair play, this week we will write stories about Tracy Fabre. Lying about Tracy is strongly encouraged. We'll steal opening lines from authors who've had good luck with them.

Your story may be serious or lighthearted or as silly as you like just so long as it is 100 words or less. Choose one of the following for the opening line of your story. You don't need to count this line in your word count.

"Take my camel, dear,"   From The Towers of Trebizond by Rose Macaulay

 

Comments: 88

JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 2:07pm UTC
Why do I always notice typos after I post?
David W. Mar 14, 2011, 2:24pm UTC
Isn't that a pain? There are days I ahve to re-edit four or five times.
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 2:28pm UTC
Yeah. When I print out my newsletter I always find errors which I didn't catch on screen.
Angela A. Mar 14, 2011, 2:17pm UTC
Who knew that she sooo loved camels? Well, thanks for the info. He, heee.
I have to have other people point out my typos John, so don't feel bad.
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JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 2:24pm UTC
Thanks, Angela.
David W. Mar 14, 2011, 2:23pm UTC
Outstanding John.
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 2:25pm UTC
Thank you, David.
Kimberly Blackadar Mar 14, 2011, 2:25pm UTC
Wow, John. How impressive to write an anapeat for genre shorties!
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 2:26pm UTC
Thanks, Kimberly. It's a lazy way to do 100 words but of course I had a word counter on. I hope she gets a chuckle.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 14, 2011, 11:32pm UTC
Not only an anapeat, but a drabble, too! I'm impressed.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 14, 2011, 11:33pm UTC
btw, Kimberly, I like how you tossed in the word "anapeat" as if it were a common term as haiku or villanelle. :-)
JOHN BECK Mar 15, 2011, 7:44am UTC
Perhaps it soon will be.
JOHN BECK Mar 15, 2011, 7:46am UTC
Thank you, Susan. I'm pleased that you're impressed and hope that this meets what you're looking for with the form.
Kimberly Blackadar Mar 15, 2011, 8:22am UTC
Susan, you're a trend setter in the poetry world! ;)
Kay M Mar 14, 2011, 2:53pm UTC
Very clever!!! And chocked full of good shoe buying advice. I hope she sees this before she spends her hard earned money on another pair of Harley Davidson stilettos.
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 3:00pm UTC
Thanks, Kay. So you don't think she'll hold my camel while I buy her shoes? I mean sensible shoes?
david f. Mar 14, 2011, 3:00pm UTC
excellent - very creative with the prompt ~ great write
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 3:00pm UTC
Thanks, David. It was fun.
Allen H. Mar 14, 2011, 3:06pm UTC
I'm guessing it woould help if I knew who Tracy Fabre was?
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 6:03pm UTC
If you don't, you're definitely missing out, Allen!
Tracy Fabre Mar 14, 2011, 7:44pm UTC
Shhhh, John. Maybe Allen's life is better without the knowledge.
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 8:10pm UTC
Naaaah!
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 14, 2011, 11:34pm UTC
Allen, even those of us who know her, don't really know her. She's a mystery. An enigma.
JOHN BECK Mar 15, 2011, 7:47am UTC
But an enigma worth "knowing".
Allen H. Mar 15, 2011, 3:13pm UTC
Here's another riddle wrapped in an enigma
is your new wolf icon a reason for stigma?
JOHN BECK Mar 15, 2011, 4:13pm UTC
Reykur is much smaller than a wolf. He's my constant companion when I'm home.
Elsie Duggan Mar 14, 2011, 3:12pm UTC
This is just great John, wonderful use of the prompt, I don't think I have seen this one yet, will have to go look at my gmail. Love how you worked it into an anapeat. love, Elsie
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 6:03pm UTC
Thanks, Elsie. Two birds with one stone, as they say.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 14, 2011, 11:35pm UTC
A trifecta, really: drabble, anapeat, shorties
JOHN BECK Mar 15, 2011, 7:49am UTC
:) Yes, not all "shorties" are drabbles--they're 100 words or fewer but many are indeed drabbles.
William Dotani Mar 14, 2011, 3:14pm UTC
Nifty cute humorous story. It sings when read aloud. Would be neat in a picture book for children.
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 6:04pm UTC
The kids would probably all want pet camels.

Thanks, Bill.
lynn a. Mar 14, 2011, 3:40pm UTC
Not knowing Tracy did not stop me from seeing the fun in this. I like the idea of the camel.
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 6:05pm UTC
Thanks, Lynn. It was one of the optional prompts.
Brenda Youngerman Mar 14, 2011, 3:45pm UTC
Great post - clever as well!
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 6:05pm UTC
Thank you, Brenda.
Sonia M. Mar 14, 2011, 4:01pm UTC
Very clever use of the prompt..... love it as an anapeat and agree it would be cute as a child's book... with drawings....
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 6:05pm UTC
:) Thanks, Sonia.
elizabeth evans Mar 14, 2011, 6:06pm UTC
I'm really enjoying all these desert shorties. Very clever, John, combining the two challenges.
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 6:21pm UTC
Thanks, Bob.
Is this a camel with or without filter, John ... and does it have a health warning? LOL
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 6:22pm UTC
The warning is that it spits, and not through a filter!
A. F. Stewart Mar 14, 2011, 6:11pm UTC
Sounds like she needs that camel.
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 6:22pm UTC
You don't think she'll like the sensible shoes I pick out for her?
A. F. Stewart Mar 14, 2011, 6:54pm UTC
I'm sure she'll love them, but you can't beat the handiness of a camel.
Tracy Fabre Mar 14, 2011, 7:45pm UTC
John, John, John ... that was great. Such a gentleman, offering your camel like that.

Oh, and I could tell you my shoe size, but it would ruin the mystique.

(P.S. Yes I got MANY chuckles out of this.)
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 8:11pm UTC
You're a good sport, Tracy. I hope you like the sensible shoes.
Tracy Fabre Mar 14, 2011, 8:14pm UTC
I do ~ it's the only kind I wear!
Mike Firesmith Mar 14, 2011, 8:37pm UTC
Why do I always notice typos after I post?

Because your writing is so good NO ONE sees them while they are reading it!
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 9:25pm UTC
Ho Ho! Thanks, Mike.
Liz H. Mar 14, 2011, 9:08pm UTC
Ah! Camel shoes, just in time for the summer colors! Tracy leads the pack...or is it herd?--for shoe shopping!
Well done!
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 9:26pm UTC
Thanks, Liz.
Liz H. Mar 15, 2011, 9:37am UTC
Seriously, do camels travel in packs or herds, or what? I truly dunno...
JOHN BECK Mar 15, 2011, 1:50pm UTC
A pack of Camels is cigarettes. A herd of camels is a group of animals.
Anne Gresinger Mar 14, 2011, 10:24pm UTC
Wonderful.
JOHN BECK Mar 14, 2011, 11:30pm UTC
Thanks, Anne.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 14, 2011, 11:42pm UTC
Featured in Mindful Poetry along with all anapeats this month of March.
JOHN BECK Mar 15, 2011, 7:50am UTC
Thank you, Coach.
Christina A. Mar 15, 2011, 7:16am UTC
Sensible shoes are so important!
JOHN BECK Mar 15, 2011, 7:51am UTC
It gives me pain to see people wearing the other kinds.
Debbie W. Mar 15, 2011, 11:15am UTC
Great use of the prompt! BTW, a group of camels is called a caravan!
JOHN BECK Mar 15, 2011, 2:00pm UTC
Thanks, Debbie.
Tracey W. Mar 15, 2011, 11:40pm UTC
Great Fun! I liked the style. I'll have to try that one myself.
JOHN BECK Mar 16, 2011, 1:21am UTC
Thanks, Tracey. I hope you do.
ann c. Mar 17, 2011, 3:27pm UTC
Fabulous! And I love your hat!
JOHN BECK Mar 17, 2011, 4:21pm UTC
Thanks, Ann.
Mustafa Demiri Mar 17, 2011, 11:38pm UTC
I admire your ability to have killed so many birds with one cunningly placed stone... Brilliant indeed... and yes, they do spit.
JOHN BECK Mar 18, 2011, 12:31am UTC
Thank you, Mustafa. The elements just seemed to want to fit.
Marilyn (PaintsOnSlate) S. Mar 18, 2011, 11:20am UTC
A lesson learned.
JOHN BECK Mar 18, 2011, 11:34am UTC
Thanks, Marilyn.
Marge H. Mar 19, 2011, 3:17pm UTC
Very creative. At my age, I only wear sensible shoes. They are the only kind I can walk in without worrying about falling.
JOHN BECK Mar 19, 2011, 7:03pm UTC
I was relieved a few years ago when women and girls began wearing sensible shoes. Unfortunately the pendulum has swung.
Sheila Deeth Mar 23, 2011, 7:35pm UTC
Wow. That's so polished and fun to read and so fitting to the prompt. I love it!
JOHN BECK Mar 23, 2011, 10:40pm UTC
Thank you for your generous comment, Sheila.
Marianne K. Mar 24, 2011, 6:06pm UTC
Don't know how I missed this one, John, so sorry !

Witty and caring response to the prompt. You did great...it looks easier than it is to compose an anapeat !

btw. I LOVE my high heels...I've even got a pair in camel color !!
JOHN BECK Mar 24, 2011, 6:21pm UTC
Thank you, Marianne. It was fun. And I won't get on you about your shoes!
Ruthi C. Mar 24, 2011, 7:53pm UTC
Excellent writing, John, and creative and fun!
JOHN BECK Mar 24, 2011, 9:46pm UTC
Thank you, Ruthi. Some of the prompts are fun to work with.
Lynn P. Mar 26, 2011, 3:35pm UTC
Dang! Not only did you nail Tracy's prompts, you used it 5 times and made it an anapeat! (I think anapeat is going to win out, if she wins the contest or not.) I've been digging in for just one and not digging well. I digged this though - probably because at size 11, my shoes only come in sensible. lol
JOHN BECK Mar 26, 2011, 4:05pm UTC
I think you get your digs in very well, Lynn. Thanks for your complimentary comment.
Lynn P. Mar 27, 2011, 2:52pm UTC
I love reading the weekly Genre Shorties, but can rarely come up with that short that quick. That's why I love finding responses, too.
JOHN BECK Mar 27, 2011, 3:02pm UTC
Sometimes it's hard to pass up the prompts. No wonder I get so little done around the house!
Lynn P. Mar 27, 2011, 3:11pm UTC
Done around the house? Crap! I forgot we were supposed to do that, too. lol
JOHN BECK Mar 27, 2011, 3:22pm UTC
:)
Connie C. Apr 3, 2011, 8:21pm UTC
This post/Photo is spotlighted in the Friday/Weekend edition of Today on Gather.

You Can Read It By Clicking HERE.

Congratulations!

I hope you will find the time to read the other spotlighted posts and photos.
JOHN BECK Apr 3, 2011, 8:40pm UTC
Thank you for the spotlight, Connie. Much appreciated. It has been fun trying out Susan Budig's new form, the anapeat.
Alison H. May 8, 2011, 9:28pm UTC
Delightful, and I'm smiling!

(I'm trying to catch up on Gather emails I've missed...)
JOHN BECK May 8, 2011, 11:19pm UTC
Thanks, Alison. Some prompts just need a little humor.

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