Why do so many men become tongue tied when it is time to talk to a girl? It seems like they can be the most eloquent speaker in the group and a girl walks in and they don’t know what to say or how to say it.
I think what happens is that men realize that they can’t talk to a girl like they would a guy friend. They get that. They know that they can’t make rude or crude comments. They also worry that they will come off like a jerk or ignorant. I mean, we know how we are when we get together with our friends, sometimes it borders on juvenile, immature behavior, but hey we are having fun.
So this is what I think happens: guys know they have to reign in their conversation and behavior around women, but don’t know how to do this. I’m going to give you the solution right here. It is easier than you might think. I want you to think back and imagine a conversation that you have had with either a female relative (such as a cousin or sister) or a friend’s sister or cousin or whatever — as long as you are not attracted to them. But the key is to think of how you speak to another female who you don’t want to insult and are not in the least bit physically attracted to.
This person is someone you respect and like and see as a female friend. You care about her opinion and don’t want to insult her or treat her like one of the guys, right? Maybe it’s your best friend from high school’s little sister. She was always so sweet and fun to talk to and you looked at her like a kid (even though you know she grew up into a supermodel!)
Remember how it was to have a conversation with her when she was a kid and you will be onto exactly the way you need to practice speaking to a hot girl.
And here is the second bit of advice I’ll give you in this area. Once you’ve spent some time remembering how it was to talk to a girl you respected but were not attracted to, I want you to practice speaking that way to every woman you meet. I don’t care if the woman is some rude checkout clerk who has had a bad day. I still want you to practice speaking to every woman you encounter in this way. Then when the hot chick comes your way, it will be completely natural. And here’s a little bonus plan I’m going to point out: When you treat every woman in your world this way, your good karma is going to come back to you. Here’s what I mean.
One friend of mine just is like this naturally. He’s just plain friendly and respectful and has great social skills. Well one time he turned this cranky older saleslady into a giggling schoolgirl by teasing her out of her bad mood. He felt good about it afterward, but then even better when a drop-dead gorgeous woman he hadn’t noticed (she was standing at another checkout stand behind him) asked him out, saying she wanted to get to know him because she just found him amazing. Woohoo!
The original article can be found here: How To Talk To Girls.