Another Tax Question...

Am not sure about any of this but try to find an accountant who deals in taxes and one who helps fill-in the forms - usually a bank manager - they are usually the ones in the know on such things :-)

Yes my boyfriend goes to a good H&R block in the city and the lady there is really nice. I'll probably see her on this because she seems to know her way around her paperwork.

I sent this to Walker. He'd know more than I would.

I know where your parents are coming from, since my step-dad's family is old order Mennonite, and they don't believe in government handouts either. I think that taxes and refunds are all a part of the economy.

As for religious references, here is something that may help.

"In a famous passage about taxes, Jesus said, "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's" (Mark 12:13-17; the same passage appears, slightly modified, in Matthew 22:15-22 and Luke 20:20-26). "

And the rest of the article here.

http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/2000/04/What-Belongs-To-God.aspx

You will have to "skip" an advertisement first, to get there.

As you can see, taxes are as old as death, and not as fair as they are today, even though the system can still use a little help.

I don't think it's wrong of you to collect what you can. It's not taking advantage, since you would be doing it legally, and you are actually thinking about it first, thus your intentions are honourable.

I am on disability, and I save a little, spend most of it (rent, food, bills, a bit for leisure) therefore, I am not being a miser, I am helping the economy. When I pay my rent, I have a place to live, but I help my landlords. When I buy coffee, I help my friends who work at the coffee shop. When I give a little to a charity, I help them, all because the government gives me a little bit of money at the beginning of the month.

when I sell copies of my cookbook, I am doing a little bit of work, just as when I write here on Gather. If it's taking advantage, why spend hours blogging on Gather? LOL

One can argue that ANY means of receiving money is taking advantage, but that only makes martyrs of us all.

So in my humble opinion, TAKE THE DAMN MONEY!!! If you are eligible for a refund/rebate, TAKE IT! :) You will do great things with that money. You may not be homeless anymore, if you get the money. If you have any left, you will save it, and use it responsibly. I KNOW YOU!! Heck, if I ever win the lottery, I'll gladly send some your way, because you would do something wonderful with it, on a little, you'd live a moral life, and on a lot, you'd probably help someone else, as sharing my winnings would have helped you. God knows that if I had more money, I'd be helping a lot of people.

The best thing you can do on a government refund is help yourself, so that you won't need to beg help from others. That is to say, by living on disability, I'm not constantly asking my own parents for money. My parents raised me, and I am doing my best.

so don't feel guilty about taking money. Feel proud that you considered all options, and are doing what works for you.

Shame arises from the fear of man; conscience from the fear of God.
--Samuel Johnson

As always, you make some really good points, Leah. I'll let you know that being on disability in and of itself has been a huge struggle for me the past 2 years. I swear as a collective whole my family is all bipolar! Lol. At first when they found out what I had been diagnosed with and that the doctors were recommending I discontinue gainful employment until my medications were straightened out they were 100% supportive, but then they started accusing me of being a leach on society and saying that accepting money from the state was worse than being a drug addict (of which many of them are) It started to get me down and feeling guilty. That's when I went to school my mom made me go the first time around. And sure it was good for me because I probably would have killed myself at that point in my life (the whole deal with my brother passing away) but at the same time it was just another attempt to force her opinions on me.

When I first lost access to my meds all seemed okay. My sleeping patterns were pretty jacked up, but I seemed pretty balanced mood wise. I was like that for almost a year I managed to think things through and work out my problems. I thought I was good to go so I started looking for jobs. But the search was slow and my family was coming down on me for not being able to find one. When I finally did get that work for two days I was a MESS! I managed to make it through work, but when I got to my boyfriends at the end of the day I would melt into tears and have horrible panic attacks. I couldn't figure out what was wrong until my boyfriend (who also suffers from a mental disorder, but is medicated) pointed out that some mental disorders are like that. All seems well for a time and then something will trigger it and you are right back to being a mess. I hurt myself for the first time in 2 years and I was so guilty feeling over that. And then my family decided to tell me that I didn't have a mental problem, I have a lazy and fat problem.

So, yes, I've been trying to not spend time around my family in order to simplify my life (I was invited to Thanksgiving dinner but I opted not to go because I just realized that I am not ready yet.) But, still I'm the type of person that I have this connection to my family no matter how much I wish it was not the case, that even when I'm making decisions for myself, their taunting voices are in the back of my head telling me it's wrong and I'm being a bad person.

But like you said, sometimes it's not about making people happy, it's about survival and I need to keep that in mind. Even though I can just imagine the FIELD DAY they are going to have when I start trying to apply for the veteran resources available. Hahaha.

If you want to talk Veterans stuff, talk to Walker!!! Actually, talk to him about Bi Polar too, as one daughter, and one ex-wife are inflicted with that, and they don't have even a quarter of the handle on it that YOU do.

In my experience, one of the worst things a person with a mental challenge can do is let society, or family influence them into feelings that are detrimental to their condition.

I'm grappling with minor issues (minor compared to yours) with both sides of my family, around the concepts of authority, and respect, and how they think I have a total lack of respect for authority. HELL YES I DO, because the last thing I need are people out there thinking I need to be under their authority. haha God, sure, but God's corrupt human representatives? Nope! OK, not all of God's human representatives are corrupt, but the corrupt ones seem to find me. Where religion is concerned my three trusted adviser are my Dad's Sister Aunt J, her husband Uncle L, and my old minister, Reverend Z, whom I got to see two weeks ago at a Church party. I think you saw my article about that.

I love my family, and am still connected to them, but evidently I offended one relative, who tries to tell me I offended that entire branch of the family. LOL Haven't talked to him in over a year, and if this crap continues, I might not see ANY of them for Christmas.

If that boyfriend of yours treats you as well as Walker treats me, the rest of your family can go f*** itsself!! Walker spoils me rotten, and this makes my family's drama a lot easier to deal with.

And if you ever find yourself TOTALLY alone for whatever reason (I hope it never happens!), remember that YOU are the only one that matters. Of course my husband supports me in everything, but there are still some areas in my life where there is no room to compromise.

-How I legally acquire my money
-My last name
-My religion
-My political affiliations
-How I dress
-My body

OK, these are moot points since Walker has absolutely no objections, but were my situation different, I'd probably have to fight to defend these things. I have had to deal with criticisms in all these areas from other people, and I'd deal with them in my marriage if I had to.

The thing to remember is that nobody has authority over your personality. No one should criticize you as long as you are living within the law, and if you have a problem with that law, there are ways to legally fight for your rights. With your mental challenges, the last thing you need to be doing is worrying about what other people think, and about how their beliefs have influenced you in the past.

My challenges are physical as opposed to mental, but I've had to deal with adversity, and people complaining about how I should and should not handle them.

Can you turn a page today, only accepting the opinions and advice of your supporters, and ignoring the idiocy of those who would criticize you?

Every year Walker and I make a mutual New Year's Resolution not to take shit from anyone, and to work out disagreements between each other in calm and respectful ways.

This is why I love gather, the family that I don't have in real life. Lol. Yes, my boyfriend is very supportive of me, but he does like to argue and sometimes he likes to argue about things he agrees with me on just because he is in the mood to argue. Sometimes that drives me insane! But at the end of the day I know that he is there for me in every way he can be right now. Today he sat there and listened to my stories about how my visit with my two youngest babies went and laughed at the good parts and hugged me for the sad. And because I only got 4 hours of sleep last night he made me take a 2 and a half hr nap that was so needed and appreciated.

For Thanksgiving I told my family that I wouldn't be going. My boyfriend told me that he didn't think it would be good if he went because the way they treat me is so bad he was afraid he might do something to end up in jail. And it made me realize that if he can see how bad it is, then shouldn't I be taking steps to back away? I love my family but I'm not medicated right now and I don't need that extra pressure when my mind is screaming at me every day anyhow. So, I texted my brother and told him I would not be going. I informed him that I'm taking a break from the family. Maybe when things get straightened out in my head and in my life I will be able to spend time with them on my own terms, but I need this time apart from them. And that is where my dear gather friends come in... when I need someone to talk to, these are the people that are sadly more there for me than my own family is. Sad, but true.

You're fine, THEY are the ones who need to be medicated!!! Looks like I'm taking a break from my family too. LOL Sis isn't going to Dad's for Christmas (she's not in the best of health right now, and it's going to be too much for her, and that's totally understandable) and if no one else calls to offer us a ride, to hell with all of them!!! I am sad that I won't get to see my grandparents, and I'll miss the little step-nieces/nephews, but such is life. If Dad wants to play family politics, whatever. LOL

The great thing about the whole situation is that when Dad throws a fit about what I do and do not deserve, Walker goes and does the opposite. haha

"Father getting you down? I think YOU deserve a diamond necklace!"

Gotta love a guy like that. A real "Danish" way of handling things. Instead of engaging the offender in a battle of low blows, the offending party states that I'm full of $H!T and don't deserve a pot to pi$$ in, and Walker goes and spoils me rotten. Drives the offender up a tree, and I get spoiled, and Walker looks like the bigger man in the argument. It's win-win for us, and the annoying party can just go suck a lemon.

This is where we went last Christmas to escape, and it looks like we're going to go back this year.

http://www.grandhoteltoronto.com

What do you think?

I think that hotel looks grand. I went to Toronto as a kid, we went to a mall and my grandpa discover a dish of chili cheese fries. I don't remember what it was called, but it sounded similar to a very naughty American word... and my grandpa kept calling it that. I didn't know what he was saying until a few years later and then it dawned on me why my whole family was laughing at him!

Anyhow, yes, don't you just love getting spoiled? I sure do, but my boyfriend doesn't always do so with money because he makes the same as I do and has a child to raise with it. but when I was down the other day he went and rented a totally girlie movie for me and watched it with me. I blubbered like a baby through the whole thing and he held me through it all. I like that. I watch all his man movies with him all the time and enjoy them, but it's extra special when he goes out of his way to see a movie I like. For our second date he had wanted to see that Sherlock Holmes movie, but when we got to the movies he saw me looking longingly at the 2nd installment of the Twilight series and he bought us tickets to that instead. It was so sweet.

"looks grand" ...I guess that means the hotel lives up to its name! :)

One does not have to spend a lot of money to be spoiled. Your boyfriend's actions are equal to Walker deciding that we should blow off the family, and get a hotel. It's the thoughts behind the actions that count.

I'd love to be able to watch sci-fi with Walker, but the special effects drive me nuts!! Between the flashing and the noise... it's the physical (pounding), audio, and visual (flashing) equivalent of second hand smoke! I must be allergic to it. LOL We both agree that if the noise and the flashing wasn't so bad, we'd be in luck.

As for the fries, are you thinking of poutine? They're french fries with gravy and cheese curds.

And as I write this, the neighbours upstairs are making me want to go up there with a bucket of ice water.

Lol... yes, that is EXACTLY the fry dish... but I'm sure you have heard of the very naughty word my grandpa was calling it. I'm guessing that's french... because if that's an English word then someone really should have thought through the naming on that one! Lol

Yes, my boyfriend loves those Sifi movies to. I'm okay with them to a point. I can't stand old sifi movies either the effects kind of annoy me and it's frustrating that it doesn't seem real. But we both love super hero movies so we mostly watch those.

And oh my about the neighbors. Are they creating as much racket as the nice people outside my motel room door? Lol

Yes "Poutine" is a French word. LOL Isn't it funny how many words mean one thing in one language, but sound dirty in another?

Here is a little historical background on this wonderful dish.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTBB8IY12QM

Yes, Canadians do have a sense of humour. Check out more comedy by the same artists, including Canadian uses of the F word, Canadian culture, and what happens when lawyers take Viagra.

You can file a return, even if all the blanks say "0". That way you are on record as having filed. That's perfectly legal and moral. The state could give a damn, so you getting a return from them is fair play.

Listen to Walker. He does the American portion of our taxes himself, and does a good job.

So the fact that I haven't really filed the last two years isn't going to be too big of an issue? I didn't do it because I don't know how to do it myself and because I was afraid I'd end up paying H&R extra for not getting anything back... and then I found out you don't technically HAVE to file taxes if you are on disability.

Can the VA hook you up with an inexpensive accountant, or something? I have a pretty sweet deal because my financial advisers are old family friends...if only everyone had that kind of deal. I don't know the American system, but there should be some agency somewhere, who should be able to help you with the cost of that stuff. I agree that places like H&R will gouge you if they get the chance.

I will have to check into that. I think one of my childhood friends went to school to prepare taxes. Not exactly an accountant, but might be handy for the purposes that I need.

Walker's not an accountant either, but he gets the American job done. I'm a total dimwit when it comes to match, so I let a pro handle the Canadian stuff. As for your friend, the way you describe it, it shouldn't be that much work.

Kimberli, I think I'd go to a professional on this :)

Yes, I think that is a good idea, Mary, I just wanted to know a little bit of what I was getting into... and also even if it is LEGAL to do, if it is RIGHT to do. Lol, my sister can LEGALLY become a cop... but it would not be RIGHT of her to do so even if her felony was filed as an SIS. Lol Just an example. : )

If you get that extra money, you should invest $20 a month in legal insurance. Walker and I got ours through prepaidlegal.com (.ca up here in Canada), and believe me, we've used it. Sign up with them, and you've got an attorney on retainer 24/7!!!

Legal insurance? What do they do?

They can offer affordable legal council. You will have an attorney on retainer, available in case their services are needed. I can think of a few instances that you have described with your family, where I would have called a lawyer, were I in your shoes.

Lol, that is great! I hope they do have something like that in the states!

Actually the company originated in the states.

www.prepaidlegal.com (USA)
www.prepaidlegal.ca (Canada)

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wow... times are tough all around! I hope things are getting better for you!

There are so many government programs helping people find jobs, pay tuition and get financial assistance, thanks to the stimulus. Check with your state's employment security commission.

I don't know too much about taxes but from what I know as citizens, it is something that we are supposed to do!
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