Gather Writing Essential: November 24, 2010

I've been telling myself various deflaters.

Hmmm, instead of putting it that way, why not say, "I've been exploring my weaknesses"?

I see your point about negativity, but every once in a while it is good to kick one's self in the ass, which is why God put the ass well within reach of the foot. The problem becomes when we fool ourselves into believing that our weaknesses, "are just the way things are." Nothing is static and the most control we have in life - is over ourself.

Oh, I like that Greg!

I don't care for the word "exploring" very much and that's why I didn't write "I've been exploring my weaknesses." Also, I might say, "I'm not good at follow-through," but in reality, that might not be a weakness.

Lots of times, especially in MN it seems, people--usually women?--are so self-deprecating that they'll say, "I'm not good at XYZ," when, in reality, they are good at XYZ. So it's not a weakness, but it is negative self-talk.

That said, I suspect I come off as defensive in my response to your comment. ^_^

My inabilities are legion.
My inabilities are conquerable.

Happy Thanksgiving, Susan. Today I'm cooking for Thursday - the stuffing, a pie, cran sauce, sweet potatoes - and tomorrow I'll cook for Thursday again. And listen to Cleo Laine's jazzy albums while having all this fun.

Like you, weaknesses abound in this dear head and body. Much prefer being in motion then settling myself down to actually write something. I find it so difficult finding the right words to express what I really want to say.

I have lots of inabilities. I try to write only in the positive.

Now featured at The Surreal Circus.

Read My newest post! And I had no idea about this question when I wrote this! It explains itself! (have many inabilities) and know it' not sure how to fix them..

for me it's time management and organization. I keep telling myself I could get more done if I just sat down to do it, but then I hear, writing would become more of a job than a pleasure if you looked at it that way.

Well, hearing and trying are two different things. Just because that makes it a chore for some doesn't mean it will be a chore for you.

I hear the most dreaded job in housework is doing dishes. Doing dishes is one of the few jobs I don't mind. We're all different. You just never know if what you've heard is true for you too, unless you try it. Worse comes to worse, if you find what you hear is true for you, don't do that any more. lol

(And why isn't cleaning the toilet the most dreaded job? lol)

Lynn thanks. It's true it may not become a chore for me, but that nagging voice is hard to ignore. Of course writing is a great way to ignore the housework. For me the most dreaded chore is laundry. I heard a writer say once, Of course I became a writer. What would you rather do write or clean toilets? Toilet scrubbing is on someone's list.

Yes, cleaning toilets is a chore I do as well as write.

Ah, the advantages of being disabled. One thing I've learned is there really are advantages. We all have hurdles in our lives. I used to be able to jump over more than I can now. I do remember that. Still, it's not about a legalized race. It's about moving forward. With that, there is an undertone to all my negatives.

I do stink at some aspects of grammar. That hasn't stopped me from writing. I know the hurdles that are easily jumped. I know the hurdles that mess me up. I keep facing them. I keep googling those answers. I keep trying to memorize some of those answers, so I can go back to jumping over that hurdle. Until then, I'll side step, crawl under, or knock the damn thing down with brute force (or baby force repeated. lol)

I do stink at some aspects of grammar. I also know I'm good at other aspects, enough to help others through their hurdles even. As for the stuff I stink at? As soon as I can jump those hurdles, I'll be sure to help others, too. That's life. We're all in this together. I've been merely assuming everyone understood that as I repeat, "I stink at some aspects of grammar." lol

Lynn that is one great thing I enjoy about writing. The other writers I have met willing and able to share their talent. They say writing is a solitary profession. But I've noticed for me, I write more and enjoy it when I can share my writing with other writers. You do learn a lot about others and yourself when you join a critique group (I belong to 2 one meets in person, the other over the Internet). And I really enjoyed going to my first writer's workshop this fall.

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I can be anything I want to be.
God made me awesome - only I made me limited!
flip side:
Anything that doesn't kill me, may makes me stronger, but only delays the inevitable!

I have many inabilities that I am working on all the time. One can improve if they want to.

The one bad message that I've been giving myself throughout my whole life is....
That my writing isn't good enough, and that it will never be good enough. That is one negative message I constantly have to work on. And, should say, that lots of people love my writing. That at least 7 people come to read it consistently which is better than some people get. And, that, to work on my writing, will make it more "popular" not to to others, but to myself.

I was just thinking about this part of the prompt: I wish we could go (my husband just said that)
Does a husband have to say?: I wish we could go
Is this a two part thing thing? Such as one person says, I wish we could go. And another person, says, My husband just said that?
Or do we interpret it as we wish?

Thanks for asking. The parenthetical portion doesn't need to be included.

Okay, thanks.

I thought I was doing pretty well at keeping a lid on the negative self-talk - but then someone pointed out that every time I said "I should..." I was actually pointing to things I was not doing and reinforcing negativity.... and I was saying it a lot.

ongoing battle, innit?

I sometimes say to someone using a "should" statement, "Don't should on yourself."

;-)

Mostly I have no demands, other than those I put on myself these days, so I find myself saying; "I've got all the time in the world." As a result it is too easy to sit watching TV just that little bit longer; read a book a little later when I should try for sleep. Sleeping later in the morning as a result and so the merry round goes.

The flip side will be. "Work to time frames - you'll see what you're achieving and be spurred by the results."

ditto for me...except that I do have demands...my time management can be improved with self discipline.

Am no master nor leader am probably not even a follower of forms required but am trying to fit in where its necessary :-)

Thanks for submitting to The Surreal Circus

Hmmmm. Now that I think about it, I am in the psychiatric field. Let me leave my business card for everyone here. hehehehhehehehe.

I think I have the grammar thing down, was a legal secretary for many years, so that helps me , I sometimes have the inability to take one of your prompts and make it short because of the things (words) I have to use, so add extra stanzas but they usually work out. I do have the inability to keep from writing about what is in my life, I feel compelled to do it, and fear my readers may get sick of it, but keep on going. This prompt seems easier, I think, take care Susan, you do a great job, love, Elsie _ Oh , I have the inability to stop saying Love, Elsie. :)

Elsie has that inability to stop loving.

Can that possibly be an inability? :-)

The prompt ought to be easy. I was literally writing this column on Wednesday morning as my husband packed the car--stuff I had packed the night prior.

The kids were all in the car and I was still writing prompts! Eek!

Great points Susan - good reminders to create positive affirmations and stick with them. When I'm being negative, generally, I try work to identify the root of the negative self talk and change the channel to more positive attitude. Self-fulfilling prophecy is such powerful stuff! I hope you're well. I've been digging out after an incredibly busy year with my business. I'm in the process of creating my 2011 resolutions and gameplan, which includes a return to daily work on my creative projects! Looking forward to catching up ;)

How are things going with your creative projects?

I've missed you! :-)

Thanks for checking in here, Kim. I have been doing NaNoWriMo this month and writing, but not as much or as often as I would like. Still, the novel's going well. I am enthusiastic and full of ideas and yesterday on my seven hour drive home with my family, my husband drove while I outlined my novel and made note of the missing pieces still to write.

Poetry is going well. I am hoping to connect with a mentor in the next month. So many projects, it can be hard to stay focused.

Do you blog about your business? I'd like to know more.

Hey Susan - Good for you! I've been reading about various Gather folks who are doing NaNoWriMo - it's something that I would love to do, but first I need to complete a few long-standing creative projects (that are key 2011 resolutions).

I don't blog specifically about my business - I do communications and fundraising for Members of Congress, Associations, Non-Profits in the Washington, DC Metro Area. This Spring I bought a Cruise Planners-American Express travel franchise, so that I can build it in to my current business - my plan is to work with my contacts to do fundraising cruises and events (conferences/meetings, etc.) on cruises. I have a steep learning curve that continues, but I'm having a ball.

That has meant that my photo-resolutions and I Resolve To . . . took a temporary back seat, but I'll be back on track in December and in 2011. I've been mapping my plan for the next 24 months and am sooo excited ;)

The one thing that I have learned about resolutions (goals and dreams) is that sometimes you have to set them aside for a period of time, but you also have to know when to pick them back up and re-build momentum. I love all parts of the process.

So my advice to everyone in 2011: Dare To Dream, Decide, Define, Develop A Plan & Do It Daily! That's the core of I Resolve To . . . :)

Happy Holidays Susan! I've missed you & all my friends at Gather too.

You sound ambitious and motivated, Kim.

I think I am both . . . my biggest challenge is reining what I hope to accomplish because it's always more than what can be done in a single day (month or year). But it all gets done somehow.

Kim, I don't want to belabor this comment thread, but I'm curious about your way of thinking.

Here's a typical situation for me. I am (founder as well as) a participant in YourNewLife, a group that seeks to improve our health through nutrition and exercise. Sometimes, in the group, I will set a goal of say, lose ten pounds by such-and-such a date or track my exercise for the next two weeks. Sometimes I meet the goal, sometimes not. I am not upset when I don't meet a goal, I just reset it. But someone in this group commented that she would be so frustrated to set a goal and not meet it.

Where are you on that issue, Kim? If you don't meet your goals by a self-imposed deadline, how do you respond?



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Click to join YourNewLife

This is actually a really timely question. Thanks to the fact that society keeps speeding up, generally - and our plates are getting more and more full, I've decided I need to adapt and adjust because the old productivity paradigms aren't working. I purchased two books last week, 'Getting Things Done' by David Allen and 'The Way We're Working, Isn't Working' by David Schwartz.

I've always believed that knowledge is power, so if I'm working toward a goal, I buy books, hit the Internet, do whatever I have to do to educate myself so I can build a plan and take small daily steps toward my goals.

Setting I Resolve To . . . aside from June to November is a good example of delaying a goal, but knowing that I would get back to it and not beating myself up for making a course correction, due to the crush of other priorities.

I Resolve To . . . is a labor of love for me, a wonderful creative project - and it was still aggravating that I could not devote the normal daily time to it. I really missed working on my blog and showing up here at Gather everyday. But - buying the Cruise Planners Franchise and building it into my primary fundraising communications business helped me to achieve important goals in another part of my life. I'm still on a steep learning curve with Cruise Planners, but am adjusting my schedule to make time again for my photo resolutions, and resolution blog.

I guess the long and short is that I have built my work and personal life around the notion, 'Do What You Love, Love What You Do.' I chose to be self-employed so I could build a business around the things that I love to do. Unfortunately, there aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done - so I have learned to set some goals or projects aside, while I work on others.

I hope this makes sense, it's a much longer conversation....Bottom Line, if I'm working on a goal/resolution, or dream that I am truly committed to, I often have to make many, many course corrections to get to the finish line - and I enjoy the journey as much as the destination. It's really not a cliche.

The second author is Tony Schwartz, not David.

I'm leaning toward making my Wednesday Gather Writing Essential column focus on this idea of sequencing or adjusting our timelines in order to achieve our goals. May I quote you from our conversation above?

Hi Susan - Of course you can quote me any time. I'm doubling back to read your latest post. One of my goals for the New Year is to make sure to check in and post on Gather, if not every day, every other day, so I stay in closer touch.

I just loaded up my post today. When you get the time, just swing on by.
BeevolvedLivesimply