Models Who Live in Glass Houses ~ ‘America’s Next Top Model’ (ANTM) Blog Cycle 15

The girls arrive to not so sunny, in fact it looked sort of chilly, California where they meet on Venice Beach and are serenaded by one of the roller skating, guitar strumming, what religion is he, street performers.  He tells them that they are home and the girls rush into the home, which has a lot of glass windows facing the ocean, to discover instead of a thousand pictures of Tyra hanging in their rooms there is only a few hundred, the majority of them have been replaced with covers of ‘Italian Vogue’.  As far as the eye can see there isn’t one photo of any of the past winners – some of which I’m sure returned to their previous employment at a Dairy Queen outside of Galveston. 

 

                After the models explore their home, no diva drama on bedrooms, they are ushered to Hollywood and Highland to model on a runway four stories up.  (I’ll deal with how each of the individual girls did later.)  They were all tasked with doing their own hair and makeup and the clothes were all designed Diane Von Furstenburg; in fact, Ms. Wrap Dress herself was one of the judges.  Have I mentioned yet that the runway was four stories up?  I don’t know where the producers rounded up the audience, maybe they passed out free screening tickets on Venice Beach (a little word to the wise, ALWAYS THINK TWICE before accepting these free golden tickets to watch a show being filmed because they bloody take forever).  So anyhow this audience sits four stories down from the models where I’m sure that they can't really see the clothing, plus they are in the kill range should a model fall off said runway after her safety wire snaps. 

 

                Oh, and the runway swayed slightly because, as I may have mentioned, it was four stories up. 

 

                The challenge was for the models to name a trait about themselves that was used to bully them back in the day.  Let’s face it; most of the words that they said haunted them were lame.  I’m sorry, for the most part these girls weren’t the ones who were bullied, but the ones who bullied.  Mr. Jay said he was a band geek (he wore a yellow t-shirt that said so too) and then had a new fabulous, but forgetful, saying on a shirt underneath which was revealed after he ripped the first one off as if he was a fashion forward Superman.  Soon after you-know-who comes in complaining that people used to make fun of her because she had a high forehead. Then rip.  Guess who grew into a supermodel and business woman? 

 

                The models were given swim suits and the word that bullied them was painted on along with ‘empowerment’ word on their bodies – a la Goldie Hawn back in her ‘Laugh-In’ days.  Because Demi Lovato has a new CD dropping (I assume) and because she is against bullying (oh, for *&^%& sake!) and recognizable to about twelve audience members over the age of twenty, she came to encourage the girls as the bravely faced their first photo shoot.  In all seriousness, I nearly threw up in the back of my mouth when she talked about some sort of organization, with a web address no less, devoted to bullying.  BTW, I’m put off not by her support of bullying awareness, but by the fact that is just seems beyond cynical to have Lovato drop in to the modeling lesson seemingly out of nowhere. 

 

                With Terra I have to correct myself from my last blog entry, she and her sister are not twins.  I guess I assumed that because they finish each other’s sentences, but Terra is 24 and her younger sister Chris is 20.  BTW, do you remember when those other twins were on?  Nigel and Tyra kept harping over how the camera loved them and I was lost.  I just couldn’t see what made the camera adore them over say a wet blanket.  They reminded me of the look I sported during my awkward years when I suffered from anemic most of the time.  Anywho, these sisters in my eyes have been tainted with the former twins’ taint.  Terra totally lost it during this shoot.  At one point I her hand was shaking as if she was going through from drug detox.  It was not pretty.  Her bully phrase was ‘soup cooler’ (I know, WTF) and her power term was ‘luscious lips’.

 

                Anamaria would have probably lasted longer if she didn’t keep saying that she felt that the other girls didn’t have the overall polish that she did.  You know the show’s producers are eating it up when she talks about how she is better than the rest of the models…you also know that it is usually an indication that she is going to go back to the modeling house and pack up her belongings.  Yes, Anamaria, from Queens, New York was the first to get the ANTM boot – her ‘buck tooth’ to ‘sexy mouth’ didn’t impress the impressionable.  What really sunk her was that she was at 135 pounds at one point and shrunk herself to something like 105.  The judges did not likey so much, and with all my teasing at Tyra’s expense, she has been clear since the beginning that she wants the girls to show the healthier side of modeling of which Anamaria was not.  Of course Anamaria said she adored her body, which isn’t really the way an anorexic would talk, but she seemed on her way of becoming a fan of Ann.  She probably could have pulled herself from the frying pan if she admitted that she had gone overboard in her dieting, but she didn’t and now she is gone. 

 

                Chelsey, seemed to have done well.  If it is her picture I’m thinking of, the judges really liked her creepy look in silhouette.  Her bully word was Casper and she did look a bit supernatural in her photo.  Her power word was ‘fearless’.   

 

                Lexie’s  bully phrase was ‘elf ears’, her power term was ‘unique’.  I hope I’m not the only one who things that these girls were grasping?  The judges liked her photo and she reminds me of a Kate Hudson/girl next door sort of model.  She is very bubbly. 

 

                Sara, I don’t remember much at all except that Trya called her name near the bottom of the pack. 

 

                Liz did fine.  Andre Leon Talley liked her face in her photo, but not the rest of her body.  The other judges seemed to like her photo.  Her bully word was ‘mutt’ and her power term was ‘biracial beauty’.    

 

                Oh no, Rhianna, kind of screwed up her pictures.  Apparently no one said what sort of fauna she was supposed to mimic and she was a lost kitten.  Her bully word was ‘stupid’ and Tyra told her she was ‘creative’ but I’m afraid she might have a tiny bit of the stupid gene in her.  Shoot, she was one of my early favorites. 

 

                Jane seemed to also be at a loss for a bully term and came up with ‘square face’ or ‘big face’ or maybe it was simply ‘face’ in that others used to laugh at her for having one…children can be so cruel.  I don’t remember what her ‘power’ word was; maybe it was ‘faceless’?  I just looked it up on Wikipedia, she was called ‘Big Face’ which she ever so cleverly turned into the power term ‘Big Square Head’.  OMG, that truly is snicker out loud funny!  From now on, despite having an oval shaped face, whenever I’m blue and in need of cheering I’m calling myself ‘Big Square Head’!   I think she came in the middle lower half of the photos. 

 

                Chris’ performance overall was not very memorable.  Even her words (bully) ‘bony’ which she turned into (power) ‘slim’ were both snores.

 

                Kendal had a fierce photo…is Tyra retiring that word?  I only ask because I didn’t hear her mumble it once during the show.  How is this for coincidence, I didn’t even look at her power word before writing she had a ‘fierce photo’ to only discover it was her power word.  Her bully word was 'lanky'.  Currently she is one of the top contenders. 

 

                Kacey came off slightly better than she did last week.  I have to give it to her for walking a runway four stories up when she couldn’t really see a darn thing.  Yet, I must ask, if she isn’t wearing glasses, doesn’t she have contacts?  I must also ask, aren’t the producers just a little bit afraid that someday they are going to arrange for one of these dangerous cat walks only to have one of the models, probably one who is partially blind since they seem to have at least one of them ever cycle, fall off the runway and into the shark tank/alligator moat/unexploded landmines?  Her bully word was ‘oreo’ because she is black, but talks like white folk - you know, how we talk like we can't dance?  Her power word was 'Nubian Queen'.  Overall, I have to say I was impressed because when I was teaching I saw a lot of kids in her situation, not necessarily black kids who spoke as if they were white, but inner city black kids who were interested in learning being called different names because they were ‘acting’ like some of the white kids.  I don’t care where you stand politically, but I hope with Barack Obama as president that type of thinking is a thing of the past.

 

                Esther sort of reminds me of Christina Hendricks for obvious reasons.  Of course she was criticized by the judges for a little too va-va-voom in her photo, but like the title of the old Jane Mansfield movie, ‘The Girl Can’t Help It’.  Mr. Jay reported that she has convinced him that she can model with her chest, but…I forgot the rest of his observation.  Her bully word was ‘weirdo’ and her power word was ‘independent’.  At the moment, both of the words don’t make a lot of sense, but if the audience learns more about Esther than perhaps they will.  I believe she was in the middle of the pack.             

 

                Kayla had the most touching of stories.  Earlier in the episode she came out as a lesbian to her fellow contestants and she chose the bully word of ‘queer’ and her power word…wait for it…wait…was ‘free’.  I know, it almost brings tears to the eyes even to someone like me. She talked to Tyra (of course) about how she came out at her school when she was in 10^th grade and was bullied for being different.  She seemed so sincere that I was surprised that her picture wasn't given top billing, but second.  For most of the contestants this photo shot was lame, but with Kayla you could see someone coming into their own. 

 

                Last but not least comes Ann who actually won for best photo of the week. You know, despite all of my previously stated misgivings about her I think she might have a shot at this.  Her bully word of course had something to do with her height, ‘giant’ and I think it was Tyra who suggested ‘Amazon’ as her power word.  I know that when makeovers happen that they will probably clean up her eyebrow situation some, but I wonder if they will send her to a dentist.  A few seasons ago Dani, or Danielle as she was called back in the day, had a gap in her teeth and Tyra urged her to get it fixed but she didn’t want to so in the end they came to some sort of compromise.  Now gaps in teeth are all the rage.  Yet, I think Ann’s dental issues are more in the league of crossed teeth, which I imagine are not quick fixes in the dental world.  It will be interesting to see what happens.

 

                If you want to read more about this cycle of ‘Top Model’ you can check out the show’s website.  Until next week, I wish you good fashion and happy modeling. 

 

Westerfield © 2010