by G.M. Jackson
Member since:
December 18, 2006

Press Release: The Redneck's Weight Loss Guide

August 25, 2010 08:52 PM UTC (Updated: September 08, 2010 08:43 PM UTC)
views: 0 | 10 people recommend this | comments: 21

Today I done finished writin' an' publishin' mah new ebook:

The Redneck's Weight Loss Guide

 

Yeeeeeeehaaaaw! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Here is an excerpt:

Milkin' cows is one uh my favorite exercises. There's no utter like it! Hehehe!

Equipment needed:

1. Cow

2. Barn

3. Bucket

4. Two hands Take yer right hand--no! I said yer right hand! OK good. Now grab one uh them teats. Now take yer other hand and grab one uh them other teats. Pull down with yer right hand then release. Pull down with yer left hand then release. Good! Feel the burn! This exercise is plum good fer yer lower back, wrists an' them arm muscles that meet up with yer arm pits.

Comments: 21

David W. Aug 25, 2010, 8:57pm UTC
Yup, that's just the way we did it when I was a kid in the Bronx. :-)
joyce sammons Aug 25, 2010, 9:09pm UTC
Don't fergit to mention works on goats too. Don't think it works on chickens tho.
Marsha C. Aug 25, 2010, 9:13pm UTC
cute Gary
Larry H. Aug 25, 2010, 9:21pm UTC
good luck with the book
Solskin Iam Aug 25, 2010, 10:23pm UTC
and the rest of the book is like this?????
Steph-in-NE ..... Aug 25, 2010, 10:50pm UTC
this is funny thanks
Clawdia Fellini Aug 26, 2010, 9:32am UTC
Thanks for posting to GutterGirls » 
Angela A. Aug 26, 2010, 10:32am UTC
So, this is how you know you're a redneck? If you know how ta milk a cow, with them right hands?
Shira C. Aug 26, 2010, 10:50am UTC
OK -- now THIS is surreal, lol.

Thanks for posting this to The Surreal Circus!
Dexter S. Aug 26, 2010, 12:42pm UTC
I have a free weight loss program anyone can join down here on my place.... it is equipped with new weight loss tools.... I guarantee you'll loose 10lbs or more the first 3 days!!!!

Slim Jim push mower (no motor but has portable DVD player on handle bars)

Shoulder building bucket systems..... plenty of slop for the hogs and feed for the chickens.

Ab building shovels

Bicep control hoe

Back enhancement Weed eater.... (well actually a sling blade idiot stick.. but works great)

Sports Axe..... sharpened model, extra weight added to give you that total burn workout.. no limit to the number of trees you can chop!

Glute building hay lift.... complete with gloves and second level in barn to stack on.

Muscle building Muk Master shovels and forks! Complete with respirators!


Come on down and sign up today!! No Contracts, No Fees!!!
(wash down at well, sunburn salve, and lineament extra)
G.M. Jackson Aug 26, 2010, 2:17pm UTC
LOL!
Susan G. Aug 26, 2010, 2:40pm UTC
Ahhhhhhhhh, fun times back on the farm. When you're good, you can squirt milk straight into a cat's open mouth.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Aug 27, 2010, 12:37am UTC
Impressed with your ebook achievement.
Jeff H. Aug 28, 2010, 10:28pm UTC
I am a city prick.
Gary (The Eclectic) Timothy Aug 28, 2010, 10:38pm UTC
Is that a new persona I see emerging?
G.M. Jackson Aug 30, 2010, 4:23pm UTC
More like an old persona rearin' its ugly toolbelt. Hehehe!
Renda B. Aug 30, 2010, 3:14pm UTC
Hehehehe. Let me know when the book is released ;o) Since your post has reached more than 50 views it is now being removed from the group. Thank you for posting to Bumping Insanity.
G.M. Jackson Aug 30, 2010, 4:18pm UTC
You can get the book here. Thanks for your interest.
Ruthi C. Sep 3, 2010, 3:19pm UTC
Hahaha! Good luck with the sales, eBook and print version!
Dorothy H. Sep 8, 2010, 9:08pm UTC
Is this going to come out on dvd? I'd like to watch the demonstrations of these exercises. LOL!
G.M. Jackson Sep 8, 2010, 9:25pm UTC
So far it is ebook format on Amazon with a book coming in about six weeks. If those do well, then a DVD seems likely.

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