I finally got into a rehab center on Thursday. This place allows you to go off campus to go to meetings, and to pick up things like cigarettes, etc. at stores with permission. One of the places they allow you to go is Walgreens.
As a DXM addict, Walgreens is a bad place for me to be, since DXM is available over the counter at drug stores. So what did I do? I ran. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay clean if I could go where my drug was available. So I ran off to the nearest corner store and bought a Boonsfarm and 8 packets of NyQuil pills. I took the pills and drank the Boonsfarm in an alley and wandered off. I was picked up by the cops and brought to the rehab, where they took me directly by ambulance to the hospital to detox.
After this ordeal I spent the night in a crisis center for people going through drug withdrawals unmedicated. It was pretty awful.
At home I had intense drug cravings. My husband decided we should go to Bisbee to take my mind off things. I just wanted drugs. I went kicking and screaming, and tried to jump out of the car at St. David. They stopped and let me out.
I walked down the street, where I was stopped by the cops, who had pulled my husband over for an illegal u-turn. They handcuffed me, and took me to the hospital, where I admitted myself to the psych ward. I stayed the day there and then went home.
I still wanted my drugs. I felt that I couldn't do this. It was too much!
I am doing better today, and trying to get into another treatment center. I am trying to keep a positive attitude and keep fighting the good fight against my addiction.