by Svetlana Goryacheva
Member since:
June 4, 2006

ANGEL (A Triolet - Rewritten)

July 27, 2010 10:12 AM UTC
views: 0 | 19 people recommend this | comments: 72

 

(This is the reworked version of my earlier Triolet, "Angel of My Happiness". I tried to experiment with the classic form here, having all my lines written in iambic tetrameter.)


Halcyon angel of my bliss,


Abandon me not, lest I grieve -


Calm my squally soul’s dark abyss,


Halcyon angel of my bliss,


Lull me back to the light I miss -


Bred in the nest of keen belief.


Halcyon, angel of my bliss –


Abandon me not, lest I grieve...


Svetlana Goryacheva


July 24, 2010

Comments: 72

JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Jul 27, 2010, 10:17am UTC
Bravo!
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 27, 2010, 10:26am UTC
:-)) (A deep bow). Love and hugs always!
Nikki McLean Jul 27, 2010, 10:19am UTC
That's really nice :)
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 27, 2010, 10:26am UTC
Thank you kindly, dear Nikki! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Laurence Northcote Jul 27, 2010, 10:43am UTC
Very nice! You are talented.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 27, 2010, 10:45am UTC
Thank you so very much for your generous comment, dear Laurence! ;-)

A lot of blessings and best wishes - S.
aniko    Jul 27, 2010, 11:13am UTC
Hi, Sveta! I hope your angel sticks around. :)
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:39am UTC
I hope so, too, dear Aniko! :-) Thank you!

Blessings and best wishes - S.
John Doyle Jul 27, 2010, 11:14am UTC
This is totally out of my league
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:42am UTC
Yes, I know that you're not a fan of rhymes and meters, dear Bard - in fact, I myself wondered if it were worthy of sharing, but still decided to post this experiment here, for many reasons. :-)

Some new works are in progress... this time in different style... hugs and blessings, as always! :-)
John Doyle Jul 28, 2010, 9:00am UTC
Please don't misunderstand my dear. if someone asked me to comment on the Mona Lisa i would back away. All poetry is worthy of sharing. that is why to write poetry is such a precious gift
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 9:11am UTC
Words fail me, my dearest friend - maybe a BIG, WARM hug and a smile will suffice... ;-)
JOHN BECK Jul 27, 2010, 11:23am UTC
Lovely, Sveta.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:42am UTC
Thank you kindly, dear John! :-)

A lot of blessings and best wishes - S.
Ann Marcaida Jul 27, 2010, 11:35am UTC
This poem has wings, Sveta. Thanks for sharing with Gather's Best Writers and Artists. Now featured.
Ann Marcaida Jul 27, 2010, 11:35am UTC
Also on my Twitter account today.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:43am UTC
Thank you for the honor, dear Ann! :-) I'm moved beyond words...

Blessings and best wishes in a plenty - S.
Sharon P. Jul 27, 2010, 11:36am UTC
Beautiful, and the picture really fits with it.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:50am UTC
Thank you, dear Sharon! :-)

A lot of blessings and best wishes - S.
Sharon P. Jul 28, 2010, 10:27am UTC
Your very welcome.
J. Reid Jul 27, 2010, 12:34pm UTC
Very nice!

Bravo!
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:53am UTC
Thank you, my dear friend! ;-) Much honored!

A lot of blessings and best wishes - S.
Kay M Jul 27, 2010, 12:50pm UTC
Well done. And I love this line "Bred in the nest of keen belief."
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:56am UTC
...O-h-h, this word "keen"! :-) I've been struggling with this one word for days, dear Kay - believe me or not - the form's requirements from one side; my own means of expression from another one. Glad that you highlighted it, my dear friend!

Blessings and best wishes in a plenty - S.
Donald M. Jul 27, 2010, 1:10pm UTC
Very good.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:56am UTC
Thank you, dear Donald! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Busy Buzzy Bee 'Gather Proud Mamarazzi' Jul 27, 2010, 1:55pm UTC
I agree what Ann said.This took me somewhere deep.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:58am UTC
Thank you, Bhawana, my dear friend! Love and hugs! :-)
Eucliffe L. Jul 27, 2010, 2:46pm UTC
the joy plumbs deep!
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:59am UTC
If only, dear Eucliffe... if only!...

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Leah Christensen Jul 27, 2010, 3:23pm UTC
I love it.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 8:59am UTC
Thank you, dear Sis! Love and hugs! :-)
Bill's Spirit Jul 27, 2010, 3:59pm UTC
Classically lovely... like listening to a Brahms or Beethoven.

Wonderful !!!


Thank you for sharing this with The Surreal Circus.

Now Featured
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 9:01am UTC
Thank you for your most generous comment and for the honor, dear Bill! ;-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Kathryn Flynn Jul 27, 2010, 4:20pm UTC
Beuatiful, and the ..meter works perfectly.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 9:12am UTC
Thank you kindly, dear Kathryn! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Kathryn Flynn Jul 27, 2010, 4:20pm UTC
Featured in the Triple Name Club.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 10:31am UTC
Most grateful for the feature, my dear friend! ;-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
elizabeth evans Jul 27, 2010, 4:36pm UTC
I, too, like it in the iambic tetrameter form....flows quite freely.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 9:14am UTC
This meter is used most often in the classical Triolets... thank you for your kind comment, dear Elizabeth! :-)

Blessings and best wishes in a plenty - S.
Angela A. Jul 27, 2010, 4:42pm UTC
Angelic poem, and fantastic use of music.
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Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 9:17am UTC
I do like Frank Duval - one of my all-time favorites. Thank you kindly, dear Angela! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Kevin E. Jul 27, 2010, 7:06pm UTC
Very touching, it quickly went to the heart.
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 9:21am UTC
Thank you, dear Kevin - I'm glad it did it! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Sandi S. Jul 27, 2010, 8:32pm UTC
lovely, Sveta!
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 9:22am UTC
Thank you, dear Sestryonka... a lot of love and hugs! :-)
Atticus *. Jul 27, 2010, 10:33pm UTC
Wonderful Svetlana
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 9:23am UTC
Thank you in abundance, dear Atticus! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
luckky _. Jul 28, 2010, 9:31am UTC
lovely poetry!

:)
Svetlana Goryacheva Jul 28, 2010, 9:32am UTC
O-h-h, dear Luccky, how pleased am I to see you... thank you in profusion, my dear friend! :-)

A lot of blessings and best wishes - S.
luckky _. Jul 29, 2010, 8:52pm UTC
Ah, Sveta!

Do you remember when we first corresponded here on Gather? I sent you a copy of my translation of 'Vlas' by Nekrasov which you liked very much. I kept my translation saved in my old computer but have since had to scrap that old machine and my copy of the poem.

You promised to make your own translation which I have eagerly been looking forward to. Some day if you can find the time, please make your translation as, I'm sure, folks here in Gather will greatly enjoy it.

Thanx! :)
Svetlana Goryacheva Aug 24, 2010, 10:52am UTC
...And one day I will, my dear friend! :-) I promise.

Blessings and best wishes in a plenty - S.
Karolyn Q. Jul 30, 2010, 7:55pm UTC
This was so beautiful.
Svetlana Goryacheva Aug 3, 2010, 11:33am UTC
Thank you wholeheartedly, dear Karolyn! :-)

Blessings and best wishes in a plenty - S.
Barbary Chaapel Jul 31, 2010, 9:18pm UTC

Your verse has soul, Svetlana, and I love it.

I also enjoyed the music, singer and words. (I just today finished a book that took place in Berlin.)
Svetlana Goryacheva Aug 3, 2010, 11:35am UTC
My deepest and warmest gratitude for your kind praise, dear Barbary! :-) The singer's name is Frank Duval and I have been introduced to his music several years ago by a friend of mine - who's also a composer, and a very good one. ;-)

A lot of blessings and best wishes - S.
William Dotani Aug 6, 2010, 1:11am UTC
Life swirls around us and although we seek comfort and peace, sometimes we want to taste the madness. But if we do, we want a way to escape back into normalcy.
Svetlana Goryacheva Aug 6, 2010, 4:25am UTC
Well put, dear Bill! ;-) Thank you beyond words for your unswerving support.

A lot of blessings and best wishes - S.
William Dotani Aug 6, 2010, 10:29pm UTC
I like good writing and you my dear are a very good writer.
Svetlana Goryacheva Aug 7, 2010, 2:11am UTC
I really hope so, my dear friend... plan to work on something new this weekend, and your words are the perfect "boost"! :-)

A lot of blessings and best wishes from the smoky Moscow - S.
William Dotani Aug 24, 2010, 1:31am UTC
I certainly hope the smoke has cleared. I feel honored that my words give you a boost. Although I think you a magnificent talented writer, I do understand the need to be told so. No matter how talented a person may be, they have feelings and need to feel the genuine care of friends and others to help them succeed.
Svetlana Goryacheva Aug 24, 2010, 8:11am UTC
Thank you again from the very depth of my heart, my dear friend... I'm "trying" to get better, even though I know I would never achieve the level of a native English speaker. But the very process of "learning" is both delightful and rewarding.

Get well soon - a lot of blessings and best wishes - S.
William Dotani Aug 24, 2010, 10:22am UTC
English is very much a cross cultural language. I imagine you know of Jozef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski. He is considered one of the best English writers although English was a second language he did not learn until he was in his 20's I believe.
Svetlana Goryacheva Aug 24, 2010, 10:35am UTC
Yes, of course, I know the name. Learning... constant practice... living communication... let us hope these three will bring me somewhere. :-) My heartfelt gratitude to you, dear William!

Blessings and best wishes always - S.
William Dotani Aug 24, 2010, 10:40am UTC
I read a nice biography of Joseph Conrad in Japan. From what I could Gather, he was able to assimilate British culture and express it with appreciation in his writings.
C.F. Stewart Aug 24, 2010, 11:28pm UTC
Вы ангел я скучаю. так хорошо!
Svetlana Goryacheva Aug 25, 2010, 6:44am UTC
И я скучаю по тебе... the same little Sparrow you know. ;-)

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