by Susan Budig - Mindful Poet
Member since:
February 16, 2006

Why I Am Sending My Dad a Father's Day Card in November

November 27, 2010 01:37 AM UTC (Updated: November 27, 2010 03:45 AM UTC)
views: 0 | 17 people recommend this | comments: 38

I still have the card in my desk drawer, lower left.  I look at it every other year at this point. "Happy Mother's Day to my sister who showed me how to be a great mom..."

I found it at a rummage sale; I accumulate cards like a squirrel hordes acorns.  Purchased in July, intending to send it the following May, I never dreamed I'd burying her instead.

So the card sits in the bottom of my desk drawer, lower left. I cannot throw it out. I cannot mail it. Why did I wait, I wonder. Why did I wait?

Comments: 38

Kathryn Flynn Nov 27, 2010, 1:43am UTC
This makes me mist.
Kathryn Flynn Nov 27, 2010, 3:16am UTC
Featured in the Triple Name Club.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Nov 27, 2010, 3:24am UTC
Thanks, KEO.
Danielle P. Nov 27, 2010, 6:09am UTC
I wonder why we all wait. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Nancy Paoletti Nov 27, 2010, 6:16am UTC
Featured at Write Write Write

a moving sentiment and one that makes me sit back and reflect on my own family. Thank you.
JOHN BECK Nov 27, 2010, 8:17am UTC
We all look back on opportunities missed. Well written, Susan.
Ann Marcaida Nov 27, 2010, 9:33am UTC
I agree with your sentiments. Our loved ones are gifts that can be taken away at any time. Thank you for sharing with Gather's Best Writers and Artists.
Jim G. Nov 27, 2010, 9:51am UTC
Tell them at every chance to say that you love them.....
Bernard C. Nov 27, 2010, 11:18am UTC
Somethings get better with age? Had a similar incident last year with a card, had forgotten to mail it and found it in my pocket 6 months later - I did mail it though was a year late in arriving - I felt silly but glad that I did mail it :-(
Brenda Youngerman Nov 27, 2010, 12:41pm UTC
My mother used to say that she didn't have to give us birthday presents because she gave us gifts all year long. And that she didn't need to get anything on Mother's Day because she knew we loved her all year long.
I raised my kids in a broken home and their father was, to say the least, combative when it came to shared custody, so I never made a big deal about the actual day.
I am sure that your sister knew how you felt - with or without the card.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Nov 27, 2010, 2:07pm UTC
Thanks for that heartfelt response, Brenda.

I think the significance for me is that I missed an opportunity and then wow, it was really gone. There's no turning back the clock.
Alison H. Nov 27, 2010, 10:51pm UTC
IMHO it's never too late. Write a little note on the card, put it under your pillow, and ask to see your sister in a dream.
Alison H. Nov 27, 2010, 10:52pm UTC
..and keep asking till you get one! It might take a few nights.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Nov 28, 2010, 12:31am UTC
Hi Alison.

My sister and I have a communication via music, but I could try your idea, too. It's actually a little scarey as I am sure that I would get a response and ...am I ready for that?
Ruthi C. Dec 2, 2010, 12:51am UTC
What a splendid idea, Alison..:-)
Sheila Deeth Dec 1, 2010, 9:59pm UTC
Wow. A wonderful reminder to say it today, though I'm sure she still hears you say it.
Ruthi C. Dec 2, 2010, 12:55am UTC
Oh Susan, I smiled with a knowing nod. Don't punish yourself; somehow embrace the card and all it stands for. Alison had a great idea, try it, then maybe tuck the card into a favorite book or album cover, something your sister would have enJOYed.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 2, 2010, 12:49pm UTC
No, no punishment or self-recrimination going on here. Thanks for your concern, Ruthi.

I'm seriously not up to doing as Alison suggests at this moment. But I will look for a quiet space in my life when I am able to follow her idea.
Barbara H. Dec 12, 2010, 9:42pm UTC
I know you would meet your sister via the dream. I've lived it and have suggested others try. Meeting your sister in a dream would result in a tight hug, tears of relief over losing her, telling her she left before (if ever) you were ready and you didn't like it and since you were dear sisters it was your right to tell her how you feel and her right to reaalize how you miss her. Tears of refreshment and a heart lifted allowing for only good memories sans the sadness to fill your heart.
Barbary C. Dec 5, 2010, 1:25pm UTC
This is a very touching post, Susan. Seems life is full of regrets I'm sorry to say.
Soon, peace to you.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 5, 2010, 1:49pm UTC
Thanks for reading, Barbary. As I re-read it myself, I see how it echoes regret, but I am not truly feeling that way. I'm a great believer in divine resolution. My kismet will be beautiful when I reach it.
William Dotani Dec 25, 2010, 5:35pm UTC
I felt the same as Barbary. I'm glad to see a positive affirmation in your comment.
William Dotani Dec 25, 2010, 5:34pm UTC
Everyone I believe has things they wish they would have done. It is very sad you lost your mom. The grief process often singles out specific things like this card as a buffer to not being able to answer a lot of whys. May God comfort your heart.

Merry Christmas & Yoiotoshio..
My wife left for Japan this morning. I was suppose to have supper tonight with my mom & daughter, but I'm too sick to attend. I woke up just 90 minutes ago. I'm going to do as much as I can on Gather.
Linda Kay Hutcherson Feb 2, 2011, 7:31pm UTC
I can relate to your post, Susan. Procrastination is usually the "bugger" that causes us regret. Perhaps your story is a "cautionary tale" for all of us to beware of putting things off, be it sending a card, making a phone call just to say "I love you," or ask how someone is doing. Especially hard is doing this with people who may not have always treated us kindly.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Feb 2, 2011, 7:56pm UTC
Thanks for reading and commenting, Linda. Procrastination is a blot in many people's lives. This particular drabble isn't meant to reference procrastination, however.

I need to edit it some more, but it's about how we put things off until the time is "right." Sometimes, that method can backfire, which it did for me. I bought the card for my sister for the following Mother's Day. But she never had another Mother's Day and I missed my chance.

You know how someone will say, "I'll do XYZ when I have enough money/my kids are out of the house/I retire, etc." It's risky to put off what one wants to do, making it conditional on other events. This isn't to say that delaying gratification is a bad thing, but the risks need to be weighed out.
Diana Raabe Feb 19, 2011, 12:38pm UTC
I guess I missed this when you first published it, but was lucky enough to find it spotlighted today.

Nicely done...
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Feb 19, 2011, 3:40pm UTC
Thanks, Diana. I always appreciate your comments. I hear a thoughtful voice when I read your words.
amy s. Feb 23, 2011, 1:25pm UTC
a sad description of why we wait to the last minute to do something in life. I still am kicking myself in the butt to not of saved my dear friend Ava. She was a little thing. She was very ill. I went to the door that unlikely day and heard a thump I thought she was mad at me and so I quickly closed the door I was opening three days later my other friends where telling me she was dead.
Why I told you this I do not know.
I am trully sorry for the loss of your sister.
Maybe someday we will never have to compare notes but that learn from each others mistakes.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Feb 23, 2011, 3:37pm UTC
That's a very hard story you shared, Amy. Maybe in telling me this, you are letting your heart find some peace.
Sandi S. Mar 9, 2011, 11:31am UTC
Tugs the heart strings...

But you didn't know. How could you have?
Donald M. Apr 4, 2011, 8:26pm UTC
It is never to early , but it can be to late. I am sorry you didn't get it sent in time.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 4, 2011, 9:05pm UTC
Thanks. My dad gets his cards in time, it was just that one to my sister....

but I'm learning to let go of the ache.
Lawrence U. Nov 27, 2011, 6:09pm UTC
What a moving piece, Susan! The wonderful thoughts of your loved ones are still deeply ingrained in your veins.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Nov 27, 2011, 7:28pm UTC
Thanks for reading, Lawrence.
Ruth F. Apr 1, 2012, 9:00am UTC
What a powerful reflection.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 30, 2012, 10:48am UTC
Thanks, Ruth, for reading this post of mine, which means so much to me, and for commenting.
Birdee F. Apr 30, 2012, 10:36am UTC
I am constantly reminded as I follow my family on Facebook that I need to tell them often that I love them. You never know when something will happen.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 30, 2012, 10:49am UTC
Yes, I know what you mean. My mother turned 75 yesterday and I didn't reach her. I'll call today until I do. My father will be 81 this year. At these ages, it's just a waiting game.

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