Become a Gather Mom of the Week and Win a $40 Macy’s Gift Card!

Hello, Everyone, Mr. Mom here:

Being a parent to my only child is a full time job for me. I've learned that the best way to have him keep his cool is to give him areas of responsibility. Not "chores" but areas of ownership in the home that he tends to. I've given him the garden where he plants our seasonal flowers, and other flowering plants, and fresh herbs. Keep in mind, he's a nine y/o, so perfection is not what I'm looking for. However, he grows the meanest lots of sage, rosemary, and basil in Central Florida! Neighbors look forward to getting bunches of herbs from him to use in their favorite dishes. He loves it, and has so much pride.

Another area of responsibility is one bill/utility. I've given him the task of maintaining something easy such as the water bill. It's a very low cost to begin with. He has his own online bill pay account for this purpose. Not only does he pay it on time, but we both look for ways in which we can save on the cost of water, by recycling rain water, and washing clothes in off peak hours.

As a reward for all this, I've promised him that EVERY Monday, he goes to Disneyworld. In the last 71 weeks, I've only missed two days on my promise, one to illness, the other weather. In fact, today is Monday, so you know what that means......Son, pack your bags; we're on our way to Disney World. Today, we'll do Epcot.

In short, keeping your child engaged in the business of the family gives them a sense of inclusion. It works for me. Try it, but don't overwhelm them. It's fun, educational, and a great reminder for me to pay the water bill. lol.

~Blue Skies

Sounds like your doing great, Bruce!! I wish mine followed directions that well.

Thanks, Kim. He is a blessing to my life. I'm lucky to be his father.

You sound like a great father. Kudos to you!

Thank you very much, Tara.

Maybe if they got to go to Disneyworld every week...that would help lol
I really like the idea of involving them in the bill paying, shows them responsiblity.

Yea, I'm discovering that it really works. He feels so empowered.

It's very cool that you live so close to DW that you can take him every week! Good job!

My tip is listen to your kids you never know what your going to miss. Some parents need to pay closer attention because a child doesn't like to feel neglected. If they feel neglected they will rebel against you. Between me and my kids I am there mother but I am there friend as well. They can come to me at anytime and talk to me about anything good or bad.

Great advice.

As a teacher I can tell you that it's easy to spot kids who have parents who set limts but also take the time to explain their actions. A few minutes of conversation can make a huge difference in changing behaviors.

I tell my son that 2 wrongs don't make a right!! If someone makes him angry, then just walk away and stay away from that person.

Also, I try to tell him not to argue and get all bent out of shape over things that do not really matter.

Kim, this is some very good, practical advice. You go, girl.

I like to give them their own responsiblities. So it makes them feel equal to everyone else. Like my 8 year old started getting the mail. He feels so big doing that. It's down the street... I make sure I don't fuss over every little thing. Or my day would be crazy with 5 kids. I make sure I keep them busy with books and outdoor activities so most likely there isn't a lot of time for fighting and getting into trouble

I've taught my children from a very early age that they are responsible for their actions! it doen'st matter what anyone else says or does, it's up to them to make the right choice! With their actions comes consequences, so make sure that you make the right decision for YOU and not someone else!

One thing we do is make sure our kids take responsibility for their actions. We do NOT bail our kids out when they get in trouble. We back up the teachers instead of making excuses for our kids or saying that our kids would never do that. Since our kids know this, we haven't had any issues with behaviour at school.

Keep in mind that when your kids decide to "borrow" a spray paint can from your paint area and start spraying some of the bushes, their toys and even a small spot on the window and house, it could have been worse. They could have tagged someone else's house instead of your own. :P You may not laugh when it happens but it makes a great story later on.

Choose your battles....don't argue over the small stuff that honestly doesn't matter in the big scheme of things! If your child wants to wear the purple polka dotted shirt with the striped pants let them.....let them be themselves (within reason), let them find out who they really are with guidence, of course!

I don't have a 'tween' yet, ( my katie is 5) but I used to teach at the high school level for 5 years and was a Girl scout Leader for three... so I have experience with this age group..
I believe to lead by example. If I stress, I find HEALTHY ways to relieve it; productive ideas... I would never want my daughter or a student to think that drinking or popping a pill would ease my stress load and help me keep my cool.
Instead, I used to stress to the kids about writing everything down in a journal or a blog; the wonderful benefit of walking and dancing to music and for some kids, I stressed the benefits of praying. Each kid is different, so it is important to a variety of tools as a parent.

As a middle-class mom,I encourage my sons to enjoy every little thing.Yesterday DS,Today Wii and next playstation.(For my 3rd grader) Somewhere he must think twice that did he enjoy his previous games,fully or still he is seeking for novelty.Can't deny that our generation is more ambitious, pretty more confident flying high with better opportunities with better lifestyles, more comfortable living.

(For my 21 months baby) share your toys to the guest baby.Take one cookie at a time:)

although my kids are 18+ Parenting never stops. I try to teach them about the value of what is important and what is not. My daughter constantly wants to get new things. I am trying to teach them that responsibility and bills are a priority before spending money on frivolous things. it is better to save a little money at a time and look forward to getting the things they want or need. That way when it is earned and worked for, it is a far better reward.

Who isn't a great Mom? I mean, if you love your kids, and are showing them, you're a great mom. I think that every mom has the potential to be great, and she probably is, she just sometimes thinks she isn't! But we aare all awesome. It's just really tough to be so great all the time. Especially when things are so tough. Sometimes we have to take care of sick kids, or husbands who don't make enough money, and have bruised egos, or tweens who are having issues with peers, and we get really overwhelmed. but this is where we shine!! As moms, we are hard-wired to be the great multi-taskers that we are, and shine in these areas! We put on brave smiles, and pass out hugs, and kisses, and love everyone! And that's how we feel great about ourselves, and fall asleep at night with smiles on our faces, knowing we did the best job at our job, the best job in the world....and that's how WE ARE ALL GREAT MOM'S!!!

You said it GREAT!

Being a mom to 3 kids ages 21, 18 and 7 is quite an adventure. I have to say that there were times while the older ones were growing up that I felt like I was talking to a wall. It just seemed like they were never getting what I was trying to tell them. But then one day it was like they actually had listened all of those years and they grew up to be two wonderful young adults. My biggest thing was teaching them to take responsibility for their own actions. You can have all of the excuses in the world but it ultimately comes down to the fact that you have a choice how you handle a situation. If someone calls you a name you don't have to stoop to their level. And if you do happen to do something that is not so great back it is still your responsibility. It is a hard message to get but a very important one in the long run. I love my kids so much and I am so proud of all three of them.

I am raising a 12, 14, 16 and 17 year old and my life is very hectic on a good day. The question asks about tweens, so technically I only have one. She is a handful though. I guess being the youngest of four very opinionated children you have to learn to be pretty loud to be heard. That being said, she normally only gets upset or too excited where she would need calming down at home. We talk about things, she lets out her feelings and if there is anything we can do to fix it, we figure out how and I try to help her with it as much as I can. Another good way is to send her somewhere with her older sister. She idolizes her and always returns in a good mood.

Let them know you are proud of their successes and hold them accountable for their mistakes. Offer them help when needed but instead of giving them the answers, brainstorm with them to find ways they could find the answers they need - i.e. looking it up in their textbooks, google, people who might know like other kids in class or someone they know who works in the field, etc. Walk them through the process of why and how something works don't just tell them that it does. Make them explain the answers back to you and give them an extra similar problem to do so that they can solve it using what you just helped them learn.

Encourage extra curricular activities and good sportsmanship. Teach them to apologize or even just admit and accept it when they are wrong. Encourage volunteer work and helping in the community. The sense of accomplishment from helping others is an amazing self esteem booster for everyone not just kids.

Most of all - tell them that you love them.

My children and I talk a lot, I encourage them as much as I can. I tell them they can do and be anything they want. The key to me is that time you spend with them and encouraging them.

I give my kids confidence by praising them for specific things, rather than a general, "You're great!" I tell Alexis, my neat freak, that she did a great job picking up her toys, or I tell Bella, my social butterfly, that she tells great stories.

My kids aren't 'tweens' but I think this advice still applies.

by letting them come up w/ solutions to problems as much as possible, & making sure they know that their thoughts/feelings/opinions/comfort is important

I have 4 children and there are many good lessons to learn but I think that compassion and understanding are the most important in today's world.

I don't have kids but I have low self esteem and I try to build my confidence by reading self help books and remembering all the good things I've done in my life and not focus on the negative. If I had a child, I would never remind them of what they did that was bad, only the good that they do.

As a mom of a 2-year-old, I am constantly thinking of ways to build her confidence. As a child myself my own confidence wasn't nurtured, and now I see the negative effects of this and strive to avoid them in my own daughter. I have found the best way to make sure she is confident in herself and her abilities is to give her small tasks or jobs that she is able to complete, but challenge her just a little bit. When she completes them I can see that she feels good about herself. While I do praise her, I try to make the focus on making sure that she praises herself and feels an intrinsic pride in herself. That's the only way for her to truly gain confidence in herself.

Help your child find things they are good at as well they enjoy. After that help them find activities doing exactly that. When they realize they are good at it and others feel the same the confidence will be there.

Allow them to try new things and constantly tell them the good they did instead of what they could do better. If all they hear is how they could of done better or what else they need help in they won't have the confidence as they should.

Support is the biggest thing you can do for them.

How do you help build your child’s confidence?talk to them often about everything, open commication is important that way if they ever have a problem they can trust and come to me with thier problems or concerns. I also support them in everything they do. I am thier biggest cheerleader!

I help build my kids' confidence by helping them find their strengths and supporting them in what they love and do best.

I give them lots of encouragement when they climb trees, the higher, the better

How do you help build your child’s confidence?

They have there own chores that must be done,after each week a small award is given.
Also I show them that even as a adult I make mistakes and learn from them and its OK for them to mess up sometimes.

Keep reminding them that they are GREAT! When they do something right or help when they're not asked, I try to make sure they get praised! Don't just give them attention for the bad/wrong things that they do. Give them things to do even when they are small,that's when they LOVE to help and if they learn it then, it will (HOPEFULLY) carry on when they are older! My 3 year grandson LOVES to "cook". He helps me stir anything and everything,he can spray butter the pans, put the biscuits,or bread on the pan etc.! He loves to "drag" my hamper from the master bath to the laundry room,push the buttons for both machines, and help take the stuff out of the dryer! When he goes "off on his own" and doesn't do as told,,we steer him back to where he needs to be. Some children like the 3 yr old have to be repeatedly put back on track (whether it's labeled ADHD or whatever!) he takes a little more of our time than our children did, but he has SUCH a sweet heart and wants to do what's right! We take that extra time with him,playing, helping and teaching.
I've watched other parents scream and yell at their kids and punish them for not paying attention etc. when if they just took an extra few minutes to talk to them in a calm voice and showed them love I think they would see a big difference! Bottom line- built their confidence by building them up not tearing them down!