Yes, after 20 years of marriage, which the first 14 years of them were terrfic, I called up my husband who I will be divorced from on August 10th. I wanted to ask him one question that was bugging me a lot. When did he fall out of love with me and why did he treat me the way he did the last 6 years of our marriage.
He only could say that he didn't regret our marriage but things change and all the time I thought it was from his heart surgery. If I knew then I would have left 6 years ago when all this started and took my son with me who was young enough at the time to bring him to Connecticut with me.
I cried for the good years we had together, I cried for knowing if was all over for good. I cried out of not having a husband at my age. And then I just cried until 4 am. I cried for all the bad things life has taken away from me.
Now I can really move forward with my life but it is very hard when you are alone. At least when I was married and something bad happened there was someone to lean on. Well at one time there was someone.
The worse thing about this is the child I had to leave there because he is going to college in Colorado.
I just have to take it slow and stop rushing into things that can really hurt me in the long run. As tears are rolling down my face now I can look at the memories of the marriage when my husband treated me like a princess or the last ugly 6 years. I chose the princess years to carry around with me.
I need to have good thoughts to get ahead in my life and so I will try to put the bad parts of the marriage to rest.
Today I feel like a new woman has been released into this scary, big world.
I know I can make it. After all I survived and with God by my side, I will not fail. Thanks for reading about me :0) Annmarie