My son is graduating from high school a week from today. On June 23rd he will be heading to the University of North Carolina Charlotte for a SOAR event. SOAR stands for Student Orientation Advising and Registration. This is where he spends the night at UNCC and learns a bit more about the college he is going to attend. Parents can attend this session but not every session the student will be attending.
My husband and I thought about attending with our son but changed our minds as we really wanted our son to take a more active role in his "getting ready for college". Up until this moment I had been doing most of the work behind the scenes getting papers gathered, forms signed and scheduling everything. Now is his chance to stand up on his own for this short trip.
I was beginning to feel bad about not going to this session with my son but this article I read that involved a study of Harvard freshman spoke of parents that were called "helicopter" parents changed my mind. These parents hover over the child until the child is unable to do anything on their own. Parents were calling weekly to discuss with administration employees about their child, what they were doing and how the parents can interfere in any situation the student may have gotten into. These parents would spend two to three nights upon move in to make sure that the student "was settled in" and did not need them the first two nights.
This first born son of mine has needed me but not as much as I wanted him to need me. He was ok when dropped off at day care. He was ok when he spent the night away from me for a week. He was ok when he experienced separation from me long term or short term. I wanted him to need me more but at the same time was proud that he did not need me as much as some other children. He made it very easy not to be a helicopter parent. He learned responsibility, accountability, how to ask questions and to ask for help. I did my job right and he turned out great. Now I can hover over his younger brother for a few years!
Taking care of the written word,
Copyright © Dannett Frey, Taking Care of the Written Word, 2010
Source: MSNBC http://msnbc.com