As most of my friends know I have to have another surgery as soon as the insurance approves it. I did some things that the surgeon told me not to do and I broke two and possibly three of the Leeds they put in my brain. I know what you are thinking "Well you knew better!" and that is true but I thought I would be able to clean the closet and fix the heat pump. I accomplished both tasks but in the process I broke "me". The pain is back but not as bad as it was. The stimulator is only controlling the pain in my neck, shoulder and lower left side of my head.
Some days or nights in this case things just seem to add up and get to be more than we (I) can handle. I know there are many quotes that give me comfort but last night I was not in the mood for comfort!
The story begins like this:
I have not been eating anything but fresh fruit for weeks. Roger though if he bought me some TV dinners (YUCK) I would eat them. Last night I ate some fresh cherries, strawberries and blueberries but I was still hungry. So I got one of those yucky TV dinners and put it in the microwave. I set it for 3 minutes and took it out to stir the potatoes. Well the dinner was still froze. I set it again... the same results. The microwave was broken! It was here when we bought the house 13 years ago so there is no telling how old it is.
Next, I turned on the oven and did not wait for it to warm up, I just popped the TV dinner on a cookie sheet and put it in the oven.
OH NO!!! The smoke alarm is yelling "Fire Fire Fire". I see the oven is on fire. I grabbed the baking soda and threw it on the fire. (keep in mind I am not supposed to be bending down). The fire started up again and the alarm is still screaming "fire fire". I reached down and took the rack out of the oven so I could get more baking soda on the fire.
By now my head is killing me form the constant alarm blurring "fire" and the smoke filling the kitchen. I finally got the fire out. Had to use a whole box of baking soda. I can't get the alarm to stop screaming and it is killing my head. I ran outside to get away from the smoke.
The smoke caused my asthma to flare up so I had to run to the bathroom to get a breathing treatment with my nebulizer. Finally the smoke cleared out of the kitchen and the alarm quit.
But I am still hungry. The container the TV dinner was in was melted and the potatoes were black from the smoke. The remaining plastic on the top of the dinner was melted into the container. I tried to eat it anyway. Thankful with each bite that I had bless it before I started so it didn't kill me. I quit eating after a few bites and went back to bed.
For some reason my favorite quotes did not bring me much comfort last night:
"No matter how difficult the trail, and regardless of how heavy our load, we can take comfort in knowing hat others before us have borne life's most grievous trials and tragedies by looking to heaven for peace, comfort, and hopeful assurance. We can know as they knew that God is our Father, that He cares about us individually and collectively, and that as long as we continue to exercise our faith and trust in Him there is nothing to fear in the journey." M. Russell Ballard
"If we but have the right attitude everything leaves us a blessing. No wind can blow except to fill our sails" Anonymous
I try not to complain too much. I am thankful each day that I awake and find myself still breathing. However... I know you are thinking "This post does not sound like you are very grateful." I have been on bed-rest so long that I am tired of it. Really sick of it. I am so ready for some sunshine, hiking and some real life! I have now come to the conclusion that bed- rest includes sitting on the swing on the front porch. :)
So I say "Bring on that surgery! I am ready to start living again!"