Moms-How Do You Handle Situations that Might Cause Your Child to Lose Faith in him/her-self? Comment & Win Gather Points

My son just turned 4 and is very stubborn, so we rarely have that problem at our house. When he does tell me something is too hard, I just remind him that everything is hard until you practice a lot. And it's ok if you don't always get everything perfect, as long as he is giving it his best shot, that's what really matters.

Ooh, good question! I am interested to read what other mother's will say. My twins are two and I am hearing "I can't!" a lot lately. My usual reply is to take a deep breath and try again, and if they get too frustrated, to walk away and come back to it later. I always tell them that they can do anything if they try hard enough!

My 4 year old preschool, left hand thinks she can't write the letters. So we shopped for special writing pencils, papers, scissors & other supplies for left hand students. She takes them to class daily, this makes he feel good and makes her want to practice more & more & more. Embrace the differences in your child and supply them with all the resources to make them happy to try and never give up. Praise the student for their moment of success.

My son is also left-handed. His teacher kept giving him lower grades for cutting out things. I had a friend that was left handed. She spent about 30 minutes with my child and you would not believe the difference. The teacher asked me what happened and I politely told her " I was smart enough to find a left-handed friend that would actually help my child instead of criticizing him."

You may want to find out if the school has a left-handed desk for her to sit in. It is sad that the schools don't help with these things. Good luck!

just tell them that they did their best, and that trying is way better than not trying

Yes my daughter comes home overwhelmed quite a bit over school work Math is her big problem. But thanks to a meeting with the whole school board she is getting the help she needs. She is in a math group getting the help she needs and it is finally helping out after 3 years of not getting any help we are finally getting the help she needed years ago.

Great, Tina. I was told by the principal that my son's teachers were just too busy to help my son when I ask for resourcing or extra help for him like in the past.

I always tell my son that he has to finish what he starts and not be a quitter. Then if he chooses not play the next season, that's fine with me. You may not always win, but it's how you play the game and give it your all. I tell him that quitters never win! And sometimes you have to be the benchwarmer and not on the field because everyone should get a chance to play.

I tell him he can do anything he wants. Sometimes you have to try harder than at other times. But NEVER give up. Ask for help if you need it. I tell him I love him and will help if I can. You have to make good choices in life in order to see good consequences and rewards.

Life doesn't always play out like you want it to, but you have to take the bitter with the sweet and move on to greener pastures.

All I ask is that they try and put in their best effort. For many things like sports, it takes passion and practice. For homework, it takes good habits and ownership. I have also told them my own personal success stories and failure stories.

I have allowed my children to give up on something (ie.basketball for my middle son), sometimes, it was more my passion than theirs. They have to listen to their heart and not always your words.

We read a LOT when my girls were young and I used the experiences of the characters in the books to teach a lot. Especially favorite books we read again and again. Their Grandpa sent them the "Little Engine that Could" to teach them determination and stick-to-it attitude because he remembered it in his life, so that is one I remember. The original "Winnie the Pooh" series characters were reference a lot: Piglet was a very small animal, but he.....or, Pooh didn't have much brain but he..... And Bible stories played a big part. They seemed to relate to the characters in the story and could understand on their level better the idea of overcoming.

I tell them to take a moment to collect their thoughts (aka calm down) so they can see the situation with a clearer head. Life is hard but some things are worth sticking with.

I am left-handed and like Kim K. said, the schools should have more left-handed desks in the classroom, because it is really hard trying to write on a right-handed desk. But more important, I never felt at a disadvantage because I was left-handed. I guess because my mother was too, so that helped me!

I tell my kiddos that tomm is another day and to try again tomm:)

I tell them, to believe in them selves and remind them of all the good qualities they have, and when you fall its ok you get back up and keep trying.

My son was affected with a form of MD. I remeber him struggling to keep walking. He struggled hard but eventually he had to accept the wheel chair. He never gives up. He is now 23 and has been through soo much, and has adjusted along the way to changes. We were always changing things up to make things work. He always , well almost always has a smile. He needs me now for all of his needs and does have days where he is down, but i remind him that he still has his mind and his voice. He loves his rc trucks and the computer and i pray every day he is able to keep the little function of his hands that he has. He is a warrior, my hero, he always wears a smile. we are very proud of him. Love conquers all.

As parents, we need to look at WHY our children are feeling discouraged. If a child loses interest in an activity or sport, there may be a good reason. There may be bullying or a clique involved, or the coach may not be fair.
Before we offer solutions, we need to listen to the child's views. We can ask questions such as What would make this better, more fun, easier to handle, etc.,

Although no one wants to be a quitter, sometimes maturity is about knowing when to cut our losses and move on. If the situation is not correctable, maybe it's time to find another activity that will be a better fit. It's a lesson we carry into adult life.

It helps to remind kids that it's okay to make a decision to quit, if that is the best option.
It's also okay to make mistakes. If mistakes were not common, pencils wouldn't have erasers. Tell the child that we learn from every experience, not just the ones where we win or things go our way. Bad experiences can help us identify potential problems in the future.

Excellent post, and I totally agree!

I started out with reading the little engine that could about going up the big hill. I would watch Tv shows like the Cosby's etc to let him see that there are others who try their best & point out that at times things are hard & we cannot accomplish them the first time they try. I have always told my son as long as he tried his best & I know he did try & he gave it his all then it was ok. We read the who book of Michael Jordan that admitted he didn't do all things well but basketball was just special for him. I kept encouraging my son to look for what he like to do & what he felt good at. It took him sometime before he got into wrestling & he stayed with it for four years. It was the best four years for him becuase he learned that if you like something & want something you have to work at it. Things are not just handed to kids & they have to learn that at an early age. We also would not let the kids quir mid season in sports if they were the ones who wanted to sign up. After all the influencing him about things he finally learned how to just take things one at a time & the reward of success was much greater for him than I could ever have instilled into him. Just be there for them, offer to listen if they want to talk & then just let them figure it out becuase it is the best way. As parents we always want to prevent them from being hurt or finding out the hard way. But if you think about it the way we learned was from experience. Just always let them know you love them & support them no matter what happens as long as they try.

It is better to do something and fail, than do nothing and succeed.

I tell my older kids same thing I tell my husband and even myself. If you give up you never win you will always be the looser. I know you are so much stronger then that so how about prooving to yourself and others?

Our family moto is "Never give up".

My son Chris is Autistic. So, he's constantly trying to give up. Every day is a struggle to get him to do any homework. He's in third grade.
Every day he says, I hate homework. I don't want to do homework. Or this common phrase: I hate my life.
And, every time he gets like this, I have to just leave the room for a few minutes. Then, I come back.
My grandmother always had a saying, "Can't, never could do nothing."
Whenever he tries to say I can't, I say, can't isn't a word to me.
And, yes he can.
So, mainly, I have to keep trying, no matter what he says. No matter how many times he screams or cries. I just keep putting him back in his seat. And, start all over again.

My brother-in-law has three nephews ( from his cousin), and the three kids are autistic. But their parents are great parents. They never give up, they keep motivating their kids, and their kids now can interact normally with other kids, at school, at course, and they often play with my nephew. They perform well at school and they are talented kids.

Parents must keep motivating their kids to explore their talents, no matter how hard it is. If they fail, don`t just blame them and say that they are not talented. Maybe it is not their time yet, and maybe next time they succeed. everyone is talented and smart, but not all people know how to maximize their potential. That is what parents should do. Keep motivating them, but not to be too pushy.

I always tell my kids to never give up. Because giving up is to easy. I tell them to try there best at things and it will be okay.

Just to try your hardest, and never give up

i have always told them to do the best they can. If need be I will walk them through, and let them do it on thier own. My kids are willing to try it once by they do get frustrated if they can't get it.

Having raised 5 childen who have all made me proud, I simply told them when they were growing up, that if you do your best you can always be proud of your accomplishments. I also stressed that each person on earth is different and there for we all have different best things we can do.

I don't believe that giving up on something is a sign of weakness. How can a child learn if not be trying and that sometimes means finding out that what they are doing is not the best for them. I don't mean lettig them do anything they want, like jumping out of a window, but letting them challenge themselves and sometimes finding out they did not make the right choice. Helping them learn to make good choices helps them to have faith in their abilities.

We have one son, who is now almost 23 (April 25th)........we have always encouraged him, have never, ever put him down at all (never make remarks like "you're so dumb," or "you're stupid," etc.).......and have always told him to always do the best he can....that, that's what we expect from him......we've always encouraged him to come to us if there were problems and encourage talking things out.......good communication is extremely important. Tell your child you love him/her, no matter what, and unconditionally.

I'm not a mom, and I don't have kids, but I'll tell you what my parents did.

My parents raised me with equal parts love and discipline, and if I got cranky about something I did, or seemed like I was losing interest in what I was doing, they got down to my level. They talked to me, rather than at me. They took a moment of their time, and it didn't need to take more than a minute, a brief island in the chaos of any day,

to look me in the eye

and tell me what they had to say. Their advice wasn't always sage, but it was to me, and whatever they told me, I got it, because they took the time to make sure I was paying attention and to tell me something that I understood, that was coming directly from them for the purpose educating and encouraging me.

As a grown up, I see some parents in the mall, in the grocery, wherever, saying random things to their kids, not making contact, not getting their attention, and then they throw up their hands and cry that their kids don't listen to them. Kids are listening , but you have to get their attention. We were all kids. That's why it makes sense.

Take a moment out of your busy day. Get your child's attention and talk to them about their fears, reservations, weaknesses (and strengths) and go from there.

Remind them of something good that they have done. Tell them that they CAN do it, they just need to practice. Explain that it's not a big deal, to take it one step at a time. Ask them why they feel the way they do and explain that it's normal and everyone has those moments. Be there for them or do something special for them that makes the situation not seem so bad.

Angela needs to be reminded that her dyslexia is NOT her fault and that it's a learning issue. She needs to be told that she's not stupid, she just has a problem decoding words.

What do you do to keep your kids in the game and help them maintain their faith? When the kids come home depressed about something I sit down with thenm and create their very own cheer up book. “Name's Cheer Up Book” This book is a list of every activity that they can think of that will cheer them up. Then I type it up, add some pictures, print it out, and have it bound. I created a book like this for each one of my kids, and it has worked out very well. Whenever they are feeling low, they just grab there book and within a few activities, they are feeling much better about life.

When my Katie (she's 5 now) is down about herself (especially writing, reading and learning to ride her bike), I tell her about myself at her age (as a funny story) and then I ask her if I can read now, (etc). She usually chuckles and realizes that her stumbling blocks will pass for her too... just as they did for her mom!

My 7 year old has really struggled with reading. It was a fight to make her do her daily reading for school all through this year.
It took alot of studying her to come to the realization that she was not just being lazy or not wanting to do it, but that she honestly could NOT do some of it, and we finally got her eyes checked. She now has glasses, and is catching up to her class in leaps and bounds.

I like to make sure I am putting MY time in to get these things done, if I had not really taken initiative in this, I could have been talking to teachers for 2 more years before my daughter finally told me she really could not see what she was trying to do.

I try to be there for them. To listen rather than to talk at them -- I don't always "know" by instinct what's going on in their minds! To give a hug, a shoulder rub or maybe a tickle to lighten the mood. If it's a serious matter that requires intervention -- a bully, a medical issue -- I contact the appropriate folks at school or give the doctor a call for an appointment.

We don't have this problem yet, but as she gets older I'll remind her that no one is good at something when they first start, it takes practice!

Plain and simple...even if your child or teenager does something you don't approve of instead of sitting them down and railing at them you simply tell then if there is anything you need to talk to me about please do. Keep the doors of communication wide open or they will most surely confide in someone else (not necessarily good for them).

My son is only 3, and he is a very determined (sometimes stubborn) invididual, and he usually works hard at what he is doing/learning and doesn't give up very often. He is very logical about things, but when he gets frustrated or emotional over a challenge, I sit him down and ask him why he is upset, what he can do to change it, and then we brainstorm ways to change the situation. We may not always "fix" it, but I remind him that I am proud of him for doing his best and trying to do what is right.

This is a tough one . . . I would also pose the question to my daughters, What do you have to lose and then the question what could you gain.

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