by Susan Budig - Mindful Poet
Member since:
February 16, 2006

A Promise Love to Eros

March 16, 2010 11:38 PM UTC (Updated: March 17, 2010 12:51 AM UTC)
views: 0 | 4 people recommend this | comments: 24

I am your brother, Anteros
I bed with love as we come close
to pleasure that’s ever foretold:
bliss as we cross the threshold.
Now we lie in utter repose.

Of a crippled love: I dispose.
The unrequited: I oppose.
Leave your sighs on the stair well of old;
I am your brother. 

Whirligig of love, I propose
to spin with desire of those
who love thee with ardor fourfold.
Past spindles, I have been paroled
to love thee forever and bold;
I am your brother.

===================================================

This rondeau came about because of a competition.  The rules of the game were to submit a poem that used all six of their prompts: spindles, threshold, whirligig, Anteros, crippled, stairwell.

Comments: 24 ( 2 removed by Susan Budig - Mindful Poet )

JOHN BECK Mar 17, 2010, 12:13am UTC
Well done rondeau, Susan.
Kathryn Flynn Mar 17, 2010, 12:35am UTC
Very well done.
Kathryn Flynn Mar 17, 2010, 1:21am UTC
Featured in the Triple Name Club.
Barbara H. Mar 17, 2010, 1:31am UTC
Very beautiful.
Barbara H. Mar 17, 2010, 1:32am UTC
Beautiful to read. Thank you for the enjoyment!
This is a winner!
Ann Marcaida Mar 17, 2010, 8:01am UTC
Whoa! And Carl Jung said "incest is a privilege reserved for the gods." Erotic love plus the ties of kinship must be a powerful bond indeed.

(Praying I got that right...)

Thank you for sharing with Gather's Best. Now featured.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 17, 2010, 3:07pm UTC
Seriously, Ann? I was not thinking in the same vein as you. What I understand about Anteros is that after Eros was created, the gods decided that he needed a brother so that he would have a beloved sibling.

I know what I wrote above. I see how it could be interpreted, but I did not think incest. What an interesting twist.
Ann Marcaida Mar 17, 2010, 3:15pm UTC
Yeah, we Jungians have a slightly different take on the topic than most (which is not to say that we advocate it). I had trouble reading the first stanza any other way.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 17, 2010, 5:45pm UTC
Yep, I see it now. That really isn't the impression I want to give the reader. But this poem wasn't one that I thought worth my while to revise so I might just leave it. At least for now.

I do appreciate your feedback. It's so good to know how others respond.
Granny Janny Mar 17, 2010, 8:41pm UTC
I'm impressed with how you put it together and love the love in it.
Len Maxwell Mar 17, 2010, 8:45pm UTC
You, of all people, know that I have no idea what a rondeau is, but everyone seems to like it and you did, after all, satisfy all the prompts.

Well done.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 18, 2010, 9:26am UTC
Len, my good writer-friend, it sounds like you've got a touch of acute poetiasis.
Remedy will be forthcoming.
elizabeth evans Mar 18, 2010, 6:45am UTC
Excellent response to the prompt.
Mustafa Demiri Mar 18, 2010, 7:31pm UTC
I enjoy works in which mythic characters are used, and I have enjoyed reading about the love described here, this love between two mythic brothers... I've been trying to interpret that first stanza in a way other than the incestuous or erotic way in which Ann pointed out that it might be read, and I too have trouble reading it in any way other than that. It has really challenged me, having read the cascading thread.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 19, 2010, 12:06am UTC
The more I read that first stanza, the more lurid it sounds as I am not a proponent of incest. On the other hand, if it were written about a non-incestuous relationship, it's kina hot. I mean, it certainly explicates the sequence of love-making.

What's so good about the comments here, Mustafa, is that it really helps me to see how I could write a better poem if I were inclined to do so.

But no more poetry tonight. I must work for pay or sleep.
Ann Marcaida Mar 19, 2010, 12:09am UTC
I think you should leave the first stanza as is. It's no more lurid than St. John of the Cross or St. Theresa of Avila describing "intercourse" with God!
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 19, 2010, 1:25am UTC
You don't sleep, either, Ann?

I just now finished my transcription and sent it over to my client. But no poetry (I think) I'm planning on sleep.

Besides, imo, the other poems I wrote for this competition have more merit and potential and market.
Ann Marcaida Mar 19, 2010, 5:28pm UTC
I'm an occasional insomniac. I've been told to do something "boring" until I feel sleepy. I wonder if hanging out on Gather qualifies?
Ann Marcaida Mar 19, 2010, 5:28pm UTC
Don't throw this one out, Susan!
Ruthi C. Mar 19, 2010, 10:34am UTC
I have to agree with Ann's perception. Good rondeau!
:-)
...smiles...
Thanks for adding Nuttin' But Sunshine to -- Sun Bespeckled Ink!

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