Picture the cheesiest thing you've ever watched on TV and then multiply that by infinity, and that was The Bachelor: Jason and Molly's Wedding. I'm not even sure you can multiply by infinity, but it's necessary when referring to this special. From love poems to doves to manufactured rainbows (Come on ABC, we know you did!), it was meant to tug on your heartstrings, but I will say my overworked, cynical ones were even tugged here and there. The Bachelor is one of my guiltiest pleasures, but I've come to realize the producers on that show definitely call the shots on many things that come from it. However, even my cold, dead heart could see that the love between those two was real, if not even nauseatingly so. When I watch the show, I like to think of corresponding drinking games (like with this season with Jake, you'd have to drink every time you heard a bad aviation pun), and last night it would have been every time Molly mentioned growing old with Jason. But you could visibly see this girl was smitten and she seems genuinely nice, which makes writing this hard for me. I like making fun of people! Come on!
The show began by showing us what Jason and Molly have been up to since the controversial "After the Rose" ceremony from that season in which Jason told Melissa that he was still in love with Molly. It was uncomfortable to watch even after all this time. It couldn't have been a great day for Melissa, who also found out that she was passed over to be the co-host of Dancing With the Stars with Tom Bergeron, as that gig went to Brooke Burke. But I digress. Molly talked about how hard the tabloids were on them, and that Jason in particular became a target for the public. As Chris Harrison so dramatically put it, Jason became "one of the most hated men in America."
We then caught up with some of the former Bachelor couples, and the bit with Jake and Vienna was physically painful. They tried to insist, once again, how in love they are with one another. At one point, they pulled the scene from Lady and the Tramp with the shared spaghetti noodle, which made me wonder - who is the Lady? We know who the Tramp is. Jillian and Ed were doing well and planning their own wedding while in their new digs in Chicago, which looked pretty amazing. Charlie and Sarah are still together as well, despite a year break-up in there. They were actually kind of funny as she told cameras that she wouldn't be moving in with him until she had a ring on her finger, and Charlie tried to ignore what she said. And then, of course, we saw the Godfathers of the show, Trista and Ryan, the couple to which all other Bachelor couples aspire...at least that's what the show leads you to believe. They talked about their own fairytale wedding which took place in the intimate setting of national television as well.
We then saw Jason and Molly going about the preparation for their wedding, and Jason said that he fell in love with Molly even more after watching how easy-going she was about all the decision-making. J, you don't even know decisions, as you guys had freaking Neil Lane designing your rings and Monique Freaking Lhullier doing Molly's gown. Try feeding 200 people on a budget and then you'll see some stress, dude! Oh sorry, I think that got a little personal for me there.
The bachelor and bachelorette parties took place in Vegas on the same weekend, and I love how Jason tried to say it was their decision to do it that way. Hmmmkay. He also said "Anything goes in Vegas," which was particularly funny with the cameras on them. While a fully funded trip to Vegas for me and my friends sounds pretty amazing, the staged scene with Jason and Molly in front of the fountain at the Bellagio was kind of painful.
There was a lot of obvious product placement, as Molly's sister-in-law showed Molly on the internet just how easy and great it was to plan her outfit on Macys.com. Nice! The rehearsal dinner was relatively uneventful, and then the two declared their love for one another before parting for the evening. Again, I will say that it was times like these that even a jaded person like me could tell that their feelings were real. Blech.
The wedding day came, and Jessica Simpson's BFF and hair stylist Ken Paves was on hand to do the ladies' hair. Chris Harrison talked to members of the event planning staff throughout the day to find out their thoughts on how it was going to go in the face of the obvious impending rain storm, and the funny thing was the head gal, Jo Gartin, pretty much lost it at one point. She told Chris how ridiculous it was that there was no Plan B and, if it had been up to her, they'd all be inside and snug as a rug. Hilarious!
Molly was delivered her shoes on a silver platter which, coincidentally, has always been a dream of mine. The two exchanged emotional messages between the rooms, and Jason broke down when he read the one from Molly. We then found out that Ty was no longer going to be shown on camera, as Jason tried to make it sound like it was a mutual decision made by he and Ty's mother.
Chris Harrison stood in the windy weather at the scenic Terranea Resort and interviewed various guests as they arrived, many of whom were former bachelors and bachelorettes from the show, of course. Deanna Pappas was there with her new beau, Stephen, whose brother Michael was on the season with Jillian. My, this show is certainly incestuous. Kiptyn was then shown sitting with Nikki, who I believe was from Jason's season. Were these placements purposefully planned by producers? One can only imagine.
It was then game time, and the sun managed to emerge in time for the ceremony, along with previously mentioned rainbow. Seriously, ABC, I don't know how you do it. The ceremony began with American Idol's Jason Castro singing "Over The Rainbow" as Molly battled some strong winds to get down the aisle. The most awkward part of the ceremony, officiated by Molly's uncle, was when he asked if anyone objected to the wedding. Everyone looked around as if ABC had some plants in the audience, which you know was possible. Molly and Jason exchanged some love poems and ooey gooey vows, and then they actually took time for a commercial break. Priceless! It began to pour toward the conclusion of the ceremony, and I must say that the two of them didn't even seem to notice. Everyone moved to the gorgeous reception hall, where Gavin DeGraw just happened to show up to sing Molly's favorite song. At this point, I was just bitter. I'll admit it.
Everything about the event was beautiful and every detail painstakingly planned as Jason and Molly set about their life together. Now, do you think ABC will do a divorce special in about five years? I'm kidding! Kidding! Jeesh.