What's Trending This Morning - Because If It...

My time is very valuable. I don't have time to read the news. That's why I am so glad I can rely on Google Trends to show me the talking points I need to get through my day and still be on top of today's news. Trends are news, you know, and are just as disposable as facts! I don't have time to click on the actual links to whatever is trending at the moment, but I've pretty much seen it all so reading is not necessary when one has the life experience to make an educated guess.

A quick look at the Google trends this morning reveals that what important today is:

Woods - yes, especially if your name is Red Riding Hood and you're trying to avoid a Big Bad Wolf.

Olympic Men's Figure Skating - because regular guys on ice is not pretty.

Elton John Jesus- I want one of these for the dashboard of my car. I hope they make one in the Donald Duck suit.

Mitt Romney - Thinks all Big Boy restaurants are paying tribute to him.

Fed Discount Rate- I don't know who ate it.

CPI- Cootie Protection Insurance? Very important for the up and coming first grader.

CPAC- His last CD was off the chain!

Walgreens - there's one on every corner directly across the street from CVS.

Evan Lysacek - Now appearing in a movie/reality show/sporting event on tv most likely in a vampire costume.

Simon Cowell - Just think Snidely Whiplash without the rocking handlebar moustache and top hat, but with all the dastardliness.

Now just drop these topics into your conversation for the next few hours and you'll be cutting edge!

Comments: 41

Peter Joseph Swanson Feb 19, 2010, 10:09am UTC

yay Elton John Jesus - he made a believer out of me (as long as he doesn't croon about it - he's so cheesy when he sings, and I could swear he's always trying to impersonate Cher with all that affected baritone - and nobody does Cher as good as Cher)

!!!!!!!!!!

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 10:49am UTC

Cher is the best Cher. I like me some vintage Cher in the Mackie costumes.

But Cher could not do Jesus like Elton John.

Peter Joseph Swanson Feb 19, 2010, 11:15am UTC

Cher .... Maybe Mary M in the musical ... but ....

Mugg Muggles, The Man With the Jive Feb 19, 2010, 9:29pm UTC

Here's a great pic of the lovely lady (with two butt-ugly dudes).

Ghostly Ghoul Feb 19, 2010, 10:38pm UTC

I am sorry here but Cher? Come on! EJ is so much better! The man has gave us Levon - what has cher given us Believe? Oh wait she stole that from EJ! ;0)

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Lori F. Feb 19, 2010, 10:37am UTC

I want an Elton John Jesus too. Now thats trending. If I had one of those I would be trending wherever I go. Do you suppose I could buy one with my gather points?

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 10:49am UTC

They still give points here?

Lori F. Feb 19, 2010, 10:58am UTC

I heard a rumor they do but I have yet to see it..probably a urban legend.

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 11:04am UTC

Wonder if Snopes has an article about it...aw, but we know what liars they are on Snopes.

Lori F. Feb 19, 2010, 11:08am UTC

Yep now if it says that gather does still give points on Fox news I will accept it but til then...

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 11:12am UTC

That is the epitome of all trends, I mean news.

Lori F. Feb 19, 2010, 11:15am UTC

Yep....and I just saw on Yahoo homepage that Tiger is breaking his silence..now that is trending.

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Marilyn (PaintsOnSlate) S. Feb 19, 2010, 10:38am UTC

I just don't get it. A special on American News this morning so Tiger can tell all - like that's going to happen! Who the hell cares? What is this world coming to?

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 10:55am UTC

Diva! For love's sake! He TRENDING. Get on board, sister!

Sandy Knauer Feb 19, 2010, 12:14pm UTC

Big mistake! I watched, and fell in love. Now, he's only going to have more women after him.

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Cena W. Feb 19, 2010, 11:23am UTC

I Yahoo instead of Googling, but in the upper right of the home page is the 'trending" list.
I never know who/what they are, what is on the list I mean.

Funny post.
to the music of "Let's Twist Again"

Let's Trend Today
Like we did last April
Let's Trend Today
And develop Alzheimers

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 11:37am UTC

I usually Yahoo too, but since this is a Google-approved "news" site, I figure I'd better roll with the program.

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Kat W. Feb 19, 2010, 11:34am UTC

I want an Elton John Jesus for my dashboard too!

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 11:40am UTC

Do you think we can get them as bobbleheads?

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Sandy Knauer Feb 19, 2010, 12:06pm UTC

Thanks for saving me the time it would have taken to read the news. Whatta friend! I'll use those three minutes wisely.

Thanks even more for protecting me from any news that people didn't already know about and Google. I hate -- just hate, hate, hate-- knowing things that others don't already know or care about because that makes them call me elitist and tell me to get a job.

Cena W. Feb 19, 2010, 12:15pm UTC

Sandy the rocking chair elitist . . sing along now,
Let's trend again
Like we did last summer
We're in again
Let's trend together

Sandy Knauer Feb 19, 2010, 1:38pm UTC

I love you for this, Cena. People usually pay me NOT to sing.

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 4:33pm UTC

Sandy, I'm just doing my part to help my generation be knowledgeable about what's really important. We are digital immigrants and the digital native will test us sorely. So we must trend, trend, trend our way to a groupthink mindfest.

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 4:33pm UTC

Cena, I wish we could all join hands and sing-a-long.

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Ann Marcaida Feb 19, 2010, 12:28pm UTC

Haha! I hope Nippy Katz reads this! Thanks for sharing with The Surreal Circus.

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 4:31pm UTC

Nippy is a master trender.
Thanks for haha-ing, Ann!

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Dame Ruth, Chief Executive Elitist D. Feb 19, 2010, 12:47pm UTC

Whew! This trending is exhausting! But it is the best cardio workout I get all day. Thanks for spotting me, Em...really appreciate it. Hand me that towel, wouldja?

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 4:31pm UTC

We've got to trend, Dame Ruth. It's the way of the 21st century for those who want to be in the know!

Dame Ruth, Chief Executive Elitist D. Feb 19, 2010, 6:40pm UTC

Do you know how hard it is to stay in the know for 85 fucking years? That's one butt-load of know, girl!
*pant, pant...trending, trending, trending...pant pant*

EM JAY (Gather Director of Chaos & Uprisings) W. Feb 19, 2010, 9:40pm UTC

Trending will make your life easier. You don't have to know anything about the trend, just that it IS a trend. Don't you feel better already? No more thinking required! It's all about the buzz.

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