Did you watch the Oprah show the other day about the man whose Mother sexually abused him? The show was pretty intense. I had never heard too much about male children being abused in this manner and from my understanding it is pretty prevalent but not talked about too much by the abused.
A few years ago we knew about a man who married a woman who had two little girls. From early on this man would bathe the girls and they were already too old to be bathed but this continued on for a few years. As the girls grew into adolescence this man would go with his step daughters to shop for bathing suits and would sit there as they tried on bathing suit after bathing suit.
Soon thereafter if the older of the stepdaughters had a blemish on her back she would call her step father into the bathroom to remove it while still in just a towel after her bath or shower with the door closed I might add. The mother of the young women never intervened or said a thing about this inappropriate behaviour.
All along this was done in the presence of visitors or relatives alike. When the young woman started dating, the real problems began. The stepfather wouldn't let the older of the two young women date. It was almost as if he were saving her for himself...
Little did we know that our suspicions would be true. Once the young woman graduated from high school she opted to report her step father to the police for incest. She had indeed been sexually molested and abused from the very young age of ten years old!!
Because the man was well known in their city and in the media, everything was kept on the down low. Nothing much was ever made of the issue and all charges were dropped against this man because of his relationship with people in government in their city.
Today this woman has NO relationship with her mother. Her mother chose it this way. She has grandchildren from this her oldest daughter but couldn't care less. She cares and loves her man more than her own child. She once told us that she knew that when she met this man that she would get pregnant so that she could keep him and so she did and they had their one and only child together.
I can't understand this as I don't understand so many other things about people and the way that they act and the choices that they make.
What do you think of this? Do you know anyone who has been a victim of incest?
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Comments: 58
Its bad children are abused like this and to scared to talk about it and ashamed, it follows them into adulthood. And it makes it worse when the parent who should be protecting them, knows about and does nothing to protect them. I wish she had the stregth and the courage to charge both of those parents .. That mother deserves jail time as well as the step father!
Thanks so much for your comments.
I think it is INSANE. I don't know anyone personally (that would admit so), but I suspect there are more people around us who have someone in their family or know friends who have had an incestuous incident(s).
It is just so perverted, and we know that people are becoming more and more perverted every day.
Thanks for posting this to Dicks Cafe.
Abuse is in reality everywhere one wants to look almost
I guess you're right about abuse being everywhere...I guess it is just talked about a lot more than when I was growing up.
At work I saw it often as women complained and cried often to me about their personal problems, being slapped around and 'dry' sex before they woke up not ready, you wont believe all the complaints about sex and what woman needed to do at sex to get something.
I'm well aware of the wife complaints about their husband teaching their daughter all about sex, way too many times, That just goes on and on.
Even a man complained about his wife wanting him to be more of a man and her being sexual in front of him with another man, to show him how it's done.
Men teaching their daughters about sex to me is taboo and I do not believe that it should be done but it is not my business to say so.
The man who complained about his wife wanting him to watch as she had sex with someone else so that he could learn how to do it ~ there are better ways to go about doing this. There are sexual marriage coaches out there without having to resort to this sort of thing. *shakes head*
This one hurts when I think about it, so this is a bit of therapy for me.
J came to me one day out of the blue crying and saying that Hogan won’t give me a good rating unless I have sex with him.
I said ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you, and she said to me as she left, you’re not me.
In a year or so Hogan finally got his Burger King franchise which I knew he was trying to get for some time. Mo said that R doesn’t want to manage the group so I’m going to give it to you. It’s basically in your area anyway as it deals with the Hospitals and the Medical Offices. I said OK, I knew who was in it and what they did.
So now I got J along with around 7 or 8 others.
J obviously didn’t know her job very well at all. So I asked someone else to work with her. I also had her reviews, so I looked at them and saw that Hogan gave her an 8 on her last review. As 10 is the highest possible, I knew what had happened in her prior review with Hogan.
After three years and making her work with others that knew what to do on the job, I needed to fire her because she wasn’t competent on the job.
She sued for racial prejudice and age discrimination as she was black and over 50.
In the Judges office her lawyer and our lawyer were working out a ‘deal’ and I noticed that her mother was in the room at the back. The lawyers agreed on a $22,000 settlement, her mom left the room, her lawyer said that he would go and ask her if that would be ok. She fired the layer. Her lawyer came back into the room and our lawyer asked what happened, he said that she fired him. I have nothing else to say.
It was all over then; she took the settlement and didn’t need to pay the lawyer anything.
From then on she ran a little Boutique down south of Olympic with her mom from then on.
Note:
If one can't deal with these issues that I would suggest that one not be a supervisor or a manager
How very true!
Being one who owns their own business ~ I usually am not the one who lets someone go. I just cannot do it unless it is something very serious. Otherwise, someone else in the company ~ an officer of the company or other will dismiss said employee. It isn't easy no matter how you look at it.
Too bad that the sexual abuse happens. I know. It happened to me when I was 23 years old...but more about that on another occasion...
Incest is a terrible thing and it is a tragedy. Sad but true.
Why are some people so very very very horrible ??? !!!!
Last week she had three pedophiles on ~ will write on that soon too.
I will never understand why people do this sort of thing Peter. People are just plain cruel, mean and horrid sometimes.
I do wish I had a magic wand to make all of the mean-ness go away for good!
I'm glad you posted this here...... it could very well be your magic wand.
-R.
Take care.
I appreciate you and our friendship.
The sun finally appeared here in Dallas as of yesterday but it seems that we are in store for more cloudy days after today... ;(
You're right about some of the abused continuing on perpetrating the same sort of abuse on others that they themselves received. Of course this is not true about all of the abused but of some from what I have read.
No problem about going off topic. It is relative anyway.
I know that it affects future relationships and I am sorry about this too.
I wish that there was something that I could do to help but I know that there isn't. You know that you have a friend in me in the event that you ever want to talk...I am here to listen.
But, in the end, I believe in karma. So, you know what they say..
I haven't seen the Oprah episode yet, I have it on my DVR.
It's a very touching show...
Anywho, I sat down last night to watch my shows on DVR..
And, lo and behold Oprah had been pre-empted for A weather report!
I was super mad because I didn't get to see the episode. And, they don't show it online.
So, I guess I will hope they will show it once more sometime.
Around here on ABC they show the Dr.Phil show and Oprah and Dr,Oz twice a day and they show the prior days shows the next night so that if you miss it the day before you can still catch them on another network. Don't know if you have cable but that's the way it is here,
They did show Oprah again at 1 am but, since it was on DVR, and I didn't know it had been pre-empted, I got the message too late to see it.
......except incest is worse, in my opinion.....
Both are about power and control......
In the case of incest, however, it is not just control over the children, it is control over the mother as well........
Thank you for having the courage and conviction to post this....
It is not a pleasant or very popular topic, but it certainly needs to be discussed and addressed by everyone.
I know that it isn't a very popular topic but it is true life and no matter how much one may want to pretend that it isn't happening all one has to do is to turn around as it is happening all around us each and every day.
Thank you for being a good friend.
Personally I'd cut off his .... if I found he'd molested one of my kids, his kids or anyone else's kids.
Do I know someone - sure I do. Actually, it was my best friend in high school and yup it messed her up emotionally for life. She did a lot of stupid things. Last I heard she was a madame and hated men with a purple passion. Her mom knew it and didn't do a thing about it.
I too would cut off his _ _ _ _, if I knew that he abused anyone that I knew. You can only imagine how I felt when the neighbor was abusing his five year old daughter. I reported it but still felt as if I had failed that poor child.
I mention non consensual incest because not all incest is forced. It does happen between siblings etc who are both willing.
I am aware of the consensual sex between family members as in brothers and sisters and cousins and so on and so forth.
Anyway you slice it, it is still very, very wrong.
Thanks as always for your expertise Linda.
The bad part is many of the victims feel ashamed about it or fear people will view them differently, but they don't realize they are not responsible for the sick acts of others. One reaction is "Why didn't you stop it" which is dumb because when the predator is an adult in authority, how can a child do anything.
The sad part is when a child does tell and isn't believed. It is something that just shouldn't happen. If only people viewed their children as the gifts from God they are....
Thank you my friend.
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