To follow up on my last post, I ran across this article and thought it contained some great info. I'm in my "celibacy" mode right now, so, I know, I need all the tips I can get. But (there's always one, ain't there), I'm willing to share. Read on & enjoy...
Sweaty bodies, tangled sheets, moaningâ€¦ it sounds like TV porn, but it could be real, not reel, life. Read on for the top 20 tips for having the best sex ever. Already having stupendous sex? Thereâ€™s always room for improvement.
1. Youâ€™re entitled to fabulous sex.
So what if you havenâ€™t lost your baby weight, certain body parts are drooping or you haveÂ a pimple the size of a volcano. It doesnâ€™t matter.
â€œWhen youâ€™re in bed and making love, your partnerâ€™s not worried about any little imperfections a woman might have,â€ says Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., author of Pleasure: A Womanâ€™s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need and Deserve (Putnam).
Besides, his body probably isnâ€™t perfect either. Does a guy ever let a large belly or back hair get in the way of a good time? Follow his lead.
2. It doesn't add up.
Women have an average of four sex partners in their lifetime, says the National Center for Health Statistics. Which means many women have field-tested more than four guys.
Whatever your number, youâ€™re neither a slut nor prude. As long as you feel good about yourself, pack protection and avoid embarrassing YouTube videos, who cares how many notches are on your lipstick case?
3. Make a date.
Scheduling sex might sound too, er, anal to be fun, but sometimes planning is in order. You make time to work out and do errands â€“ why not for sex?
â€œThis is important, so you have to make room for it and push it forward,â€ Hutcherson says.
Reconnecting with your partner as a lover â€“ not roommate or parent â€“ is a reminder of why you were attracted to him in the first place.
Once youâ€™ve made a sex appointment, the anticipation can be almost as titillating as the event. Kick it up a notch by trading racy texts or leaving a sultry voicemail on his cell.
4. Normal? Forget about it!
Do furries float your boat? That doesnâ€™t make you weird or freaky. Studies and surveys show that American women have sex in lots of ways:
- 17% have tried bondage.
- 20% have used a blindfold.
- 30% have had anal sex.
- 62% masturbate (usually three to four times a week).
- 40% use vibrators.
- 14% look at online porn.
- 70% need clitoral stimulation to slide into home plate.
- 18% opt for oral sex.
Your quirks arenâ€™t so strange or uncommon, so quit worrying and enjoy!
5. Porn positions are for the pros.
Unless Jenna Jameson is your alter ego, your guy doesnâ€™t expect you to do that reverse cowgirl with a half-gainer.
â€œThere are a lot of ridiculous standards out there about how women should be or look or act,â€ says Michele Sugg, a certified sex therapist in Branford, Conn. â€œLet all that go. Reality is, men are turned on by you.â€
Your partner will be aroused by seeing you turned on.
6. Lube up.
The right lube can turn so-so sex great. There are many lubes â€“ water- or silicone-based â€“ so experiment to see what works.
7. Get squeaky clean.
Use mouthwash and baby wipes. Like Tupperware for the bedroom, it keeps everything fresh.
Fish oil reduces inflammation, blood pressure and dangerous LDL cholesterol. But guess what? It also opens up those teeny blood vessels down there.
9.Â Trade pleasure for pain.
At least, not in the â€œouch, ouch, OUCH!â€ way. Sex should feel amazing. If itâ€™s painful, figure out why. It may be a simple matter of changing positions or adding lubricant.
10. Meds can turn you off.Â
Some medications â€“ antidepressants, blood pressure medications, even birth control pills â€“ can blunt your sex drive.
If you havenâ€™t been feeling as frisky as you want, talk to your doctor about whether your prescriptions could be putting the chill on your libido. You might be able to use a lower dose or switch to a different medication.
11. Know thyself.
Forget what you see in movies: Only about 30% of women reach orgasm through penetration alone. That means a whopping 70% of us need hands-on help to cross the finish line.
He may not want you telling him how to drive, but heâ€™ll appreciate direction about what pleases you.
Youâ€™ve heard it before: The most important sex organ is your brain. So stock it with sexy images to get your motor revved.
You want your bedroom to feel like a place for good lovinâ€™, not an office or nursery school.
Sex without gaffes only happens in movies. In real life, somethingâ€™s bound to happen: One of you farts, you pull a muscle, the dog jumps in, you fall out of bed. The only thing you can do â€“ after checking for broken bones â€“ is just laugh and roll with it. The pressure to have â€œperfect sexâ€ is a definite mood-killer.
Itâ€™s impossible to let yourself go if youâ€™re worried about getting pregnant or contracting a disease.
Some physical conditions impact your sex life. Heart disease, hypertension and diabetes â€œcan profoundly affect our sexual health and pleasure,â€ Barnard says.
About 67% of women have trouble sleeping, according to the National Sleep Foundation. And, as many working women know, when youâ€™re tired, youâ€™d rather sleep than have sex.
Youâ€™ve heard this before, but hereâ€™s why you should do your Kegels: â€œOrgasms are your pelvic floor spasming,â€ Barnard says. â€œIf your pelvic floor muscles arenâ€™t very strong, youâ€™re not going to feel much."
20. Take a Pilates class.
Why Pilates and not another type of exercise?