"""Two Different Churches"""
White chuch...
1.Service and Sunday school are both over by 10:30 a.m.
2.The pastor delegates his preaching and he does not preach, himself, every Sunday or every service.
3.No one leaves the choir during the entire service.
4.There is only One choir.
5.Choir rehersal is only once a month, not every week.
6.The are 52-inch flat screen T.V's posted in the sanctuary,which is where announcements are posted and not read audibly.
7.No afternoon and night service unless it's a repeat of the same service.
8.You can't tell the Pastor's car because everyone drives a nice car.
9.Women wear less jewerly because they know less means more.
10.Communion is packaged together and not served in four gold trays.
11.Babies are not passed around during church. They sit only with their parents.
12.Men Dress in Polos and Dockers.
13.Mothers feed their kids Fruits, Grains and Animal crackers before service.
14.80% of the congregation wears real furs in the winter and don't walk in service late to show them off
15.It takes Two Deacons to count $10,000t in offering
16.There's only one offering
17.Everyone has a bible and appears familiar with it
Black Church.............
1.Service starts at 11:00 a.m. but folks come in throughout the service.
2.The pastor preaches every Sunday.Pulpit minister only preaches when Pastor is on vacation.
3.People constantly leave the choir during service.
4.The Pastor don't come out until 45 minutes after service has started.
5.There are 4-5 choirs in the same church.
6.Mothers fuss at and whip kids in church during service.
7.Announcements are given out loud for ten minutes and the audience has to help the announcement clerk how to pronounce the words.
8.Two of the church deacons have Gold teeth or No teeth.
9.The members socialize and speak during the tithes and offerings.
10.When church is over, no-one discusses the Pastor's message. They just compliment each other's outfits and hair.
11.Women come into church late and pass their babies around.
12.Women give each other signals when a handsome guest minister is invited.
13.You find notes after church that says."That's not her hair,"Who is that baby's daddy,"He needs to sit down", "What you fix for dinner?", "I know she ain't got that on", "Let me borrow $1 for offering".
14.It takes eight deacons two hours to count $400.
15.There is a slot on the tithes envelope marked, "building fund".
16.The afternoon service is either,Choir day,Usher day, Men &women's day,(don't forget youth dayEducations day,Pastor's aide day, Hospitality day,New member day,Church anniversary day, Pastor's anniversary day and Revival.
17.The choir practices every week and still can't sing.
18.You see more than five people pass some gum or peppermint.
19. Someone will feed a baby Cheetos,sugar cookies, crackers,or vanilla wafers in the sanctuary
20.Men will have on suits in the colors of bright yellow,lime gren,hot pink,sky blue and candy apple red with shoes to match.
21. People will have an $80 bible but will have to look in the table of contents to find the text of the Pastor's message.
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Comments: 47
1. One service at 9:15 for adults, and Sunday School for kids. Another service at 10:45 with children's church at the same time. Adults don't have Sunday School. We have small groups that meet in our homes.
2.The pastor preaches every Sunday except when he's on vacation. Then, I often preach.
3.We don't have a choir. We have a praise and worship team - guitars, piano, drums and singers. The pastor plays lead guitar and is the worship leader too.
4. See above - no choir, just praise and worship team.
5. Praise and worship team practices every Saturday morning, plus before church on Sunday.
6. We have a screen at the front of the church, but most announcements are read. The screen is for song words and for Bible verses and for help in filling in our sermon note sheets.
7. True. But we do have two prayer services each week - one during the day and one in the evenings. 30 minutes each.
8. You can't tell the pastor's car because there is quite a variety of vehicles in the parking lot. I don't think there are any new ones.
9.Jewelry? Who wears jewelry? Most women don't even wear dresses any more. And the guys certainly don't wear suits.
10. Communion is something encouraged for our small groups that meet weekly. In church we probably have communion about once a quarter. It's not pre-packaged. Everyone dunks bread in the grape juice.
11.Babies are in the nursery or with their own parents.
12.Men Dress in whatever they choose - lots of jeans.
13. Have no idea what the mothers feed their kids. But we do have food at the entry of our church - some fruits, cheese, donuts and cookies.
14. I doubt that anyone in our church has a fur. Haven't seen on in in 4+ years.
15. We don't have deacons. I think we have 3 volunteers who count the money - one for coins, one for bills and one for checks, then they check each other's math. And if our 150 people gave $10,000 that would be a miracle.
16.There's only one offering. Yes.
17. Some people bring Bibles, some don't. There are pew Bibles available too. But the Bible verses are always on the big screen, so many people don't bring Bibles.
And....we don't have pews. We have round tables with about 6 chairs at each one. And we eat our donuts and drink our coffee at the tables during the service.
Not true dear.
Carver Missionary Baptist Church in Los Angeles
I am dismayed though at all the people leaving during the 17 min sermon while others text or even take phone calls. Twenty minutes without distractions shouldn't be too much to ask.
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