by Andrew Fatato
Member since:
November 5, 2009

Bon Jovi's album "Circle" SUCKS

December 22, 2009 11:21 AM UTC
views: 0 | comments: 35

Ugh, the reasons I hate Bon Jovi just seem to grow. I just went on NPR.org to get the transcript for the Bon Jovi interview I heard last night on Fresh Air and they haven't posted the audio due to "contractual obligations." It's like Bon Jovi doesn't WANT me to write about why I hate him so much with the help of his own quotes.

Well I'm going to forge ahead anyway.

Bon Jovi has a new album, "Circle" and I haven't listened to it, nor do I ever intend to, but I heard two of the songs last night, and... well lets just do a comparison study. First, off the new record, "We Weren't Born to Follow":

 





Could it be any more blue collar? Pictures of firefighters? Is that 9/11? The Berlin wall? Lance Armstrong? WTF is going on in this video. Not to mention it's only a few notes away from this:

 





And as if that wasn't blue collar enough for you, there's "Work For the Working Man":

 





Which is only ONE NOTE away from this:

 





Ok, so what, right? They know their product, they know what riffs have worked in the past, they know what stories get their fans' blood up, why fix what isn't broken. They had the highest grossing tour last year. And this new album, "Circle," debuted at  #1. Numbers don't lie. And, just with full disclosure, I love a good round of "Living on a Prayer" blasted at my local watering hole.

What bothers me so much is what an unbelievable prick Jon Bon Jovi is. I've watched the documentary that came out with this album, When We Were Beautiful (check out the trailer here), as well as this interview I heard last night, and it's stunning how ungrateful he sounds. The documentary is non-stop whining. Whining about having to be on the road for three weeks at a time. Whining about having to play in front of 70,000 people and then go back to a hotel room. Whining, while being loosened up by his personal masseuse, that everyone only wants to hear "Living on a Prayer" instead of all the ballads he's written over the years. He is so fundamentally NOT blue collar that his songs are offensive.

He even admits he never worked a blue collar day in his life. It's one thing to write these songs in the 80s, and I don't knock him for it, but to continue to peddle the same patronizing drivel to a working class he so blatantly mocks is shameful.

Just play the hits, Jon, and shut up, before your legacy is so muddled you have to go back to playing mid-sized club shows.

Comments: 35

Lance Taylor Dec 22, 2009, 3:15pm UTC
Okay, you are an idiot. Seriously? You are going to title your article Bon Jovi's album "Circle" SUCKS and yet you haven't even listened to it. Nor do you intend to. That's just brilliant. How can you write an opinion about something you know nothing about? You pick two songs off the album that you "heard" and have similar meanings to other Bon Jovi songs and for that reason the whole album sucks? Also, Bon Jovi has been around for more than 20 years and are still as popular today as ever. Maybe it's just me, but I think that might mean they are doing SOMETHING right. You argue about them not being blue collar and have no business singing about it. Their roots are blue collar and they are singing about what they know however removed from it they may be. Did you ever think that might be what strikes a chord with the fans? Do you not know that real working people applaud those who can pull themselves up and out? Bon Jovi gives them hope and anthems to sing. Bon Jovi writes and sings songs for life. You, I think are perhaps jealous of his success. Oh and when was the last time you complained about your job? Life on the road is hard. Sure, they make a lot of money, but does that mean they can't have some things they don't like about what they do. Frankly, I wouldn't want to live that life, but I am thankful they do and keep giving me anthems for love and life.
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 1:47am UTC
Normally, I wouldn't bother responding to someone(s, there were other comments, but it would seem Lance here is the only one brave enough to leave their comment up) who says mean things about me online, because I know my mom loves me, and that's all I need. But, I'm bored, and why not. Lets take this slowly so Lance can keep up:

1. Your name is Lance. Seriously?
2. Yes, Lance, I listen to two songs and I decide the whole album sucks. These people listened to the whole thing. I think I'm in good company.
3. How does one "hear" something? Are you speaking figuratively?
4. Maybe it is just you, you certainly got the most excited out of the 500 people that read my post.
5. I never said they weren't doing SOMETHING right. They're selling records. Shamelessly, but selling nonetheless. And for that, I applaud them. As long as I don't have to listen to them.
6. Their roots are blue collar? What does that even mean? They're singing what they know? Jon Bon Jovi's mom was a waitress at a Playboy club because she thought it'd be fun, and his dad was a hair dresser. If his songs were about Playboy bunnies and daddy hair dressers than I guess I'd be ok with it.
7. "Bon Jovi writes and sings songs for life." Do you take yourself seriously?
8. You know what, Lance, you hit the nail right on the head. I am jealous. I have to tear down musicians I don't like because I wish I could be them. And, if I'm jealous of Bon Jovi, than I'm also jealous of you. It's a simple world you live in, with simple joys and simple struggles. If only I could be so lucky.

I guess that's the trouble with art though. Opinions just get so subjective.
elliot brown Dec 23, 2009, 8:04am UTC
LOL...its says you were born in '87 so you dont even know bon jovis key years...86 88 90 92.....and is that your song your singing? its sucks. there i listened to 2 sec of it like your 2 songs of bon jovi's circle and your song blows like The Dirty Projectors. they suck shit!
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 9:13am UTC
ROFL!!1! DOBs are so funny, aren't they? You're right, Elliot, what was I thinking? If I wasn't alive when the records came out (or old enough to listen to them) I don't have any business commenting on them. My b, bro. Enjoy the twilight of your life.
fred sharp Dec 23, 2009, 8:45am UTC
what an interesting life you must lead andrew. bad mouthing other peoples work for kicks? why not find something u actually like in this life and write a wee story on that? and never know, your might even enjoy it.:)

and i must say, your photo is just dazzling. i mean, look at that smile. wish i had a lovely set of nashers like those to show off!

take care mate, and have a lovely Christmas.
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 9:21am UTC
It is tough, Fred, burdened by the drivel of the masses. Heavy weighs the crown, you know? And you're right, all shoddy work should go unchecked. Please do send these guys a message for me, I don't think I have time. You know, I have written quite a few posts about things I like, but that was boring and they haven't got this response. Plus, I really am enjoying reading these comments. So I think I'll stick with this route. Thanks for asking.

And yes, I'll try to smile more. It's something I'll be working on in the new year.
Jamie C Dec 23, 2009, 9:55am UTC
i support you andrew and your quest to reveal how sucky this album is...
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 10:26am UTC
Careful, Jamie, these guys are jackals.
Maggie Thomas Dec 23, 2009, 2:17pm UTC
You are feeding the jackals when you start by saying you have not listened to the album, but I have so.. you are right! And don't bother, you are not missing much. Just some more opportunistic, crafted songs to fit the occasion, that some fans believe is pure solidarity, yeah right!

I've been a fan for way too many years, but I've reached the point where I can not take more hypocrisy from Jon (I'm not blaming the other members of the band) I guess is very clear who is the CEO of the "brand", in case anyone had any doubts, the documentary took care of that.

Lovely, Work for The Working Man, about the hard times of "THOSE" that are in that position, then coming out with the idea of the circle, make the stage for the new tour "a circle", then charge a minimum of $400 to be in it, not to mention the VIP packages going up to $3500 to be on the front row.

I bet many happy fans will (and are) buying those tickets, so they have a better look at Jon's ass up close, those very dedicated fans that jump up and down all during Who Says You Can't Go Home, then going to get more drinks during Dry County.

There are all kind of fans, the ones that want honest music and artists that actually care about their fans, are saying to Jon...."We Were Not Born To Follow".
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 2:35pm UTC
Preach it, Maggie.
paul kennedy Dec 23, 2009, 2:42pm UTC
You are a total dick! It really angers me when people mock anyone who's had the talent and drive to make something of there lives! Everyone’s aloud to have an opinion but what have you done with in the world of music or the world of anything? Bon Jovi have sold over 100 million albums had sell out tours in more countries than any other band in history continue to produce excellent music, sales don’t lie!!! so easy to be a critic from your armchair aint it?! As for the blue-collar comments, do you realise how hard bon Jovi works and how much time and effort not to mention millions of his own money he has given to charity?? I have listened to the whole album ''work for the working man'' has the same sounds as liv'in on a prayer because its meant to! ''We weren’t born to follow'' is an excellent single, lets here what you can come up with first before slating others work! The rest of the album is great! FACT! There are bands that I don’t really like but I have an appreciation for talent that these people have, maybe you should learn to have a bit more respect and grow up rather than critiquing people you have no right to... And save your pretentious response sure it will just contain more of the tripe and undeserved arrogance I’ve already read above. In the words of Jon, ‘‘have a nice day!''
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 3:02pm UTC
I can't decide if you meant trite, which would kind of make sense, or if you actually did mean tripe (the stomach lining of a cow, used as food) and have inadvertently created a brilliant and original insult. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Anyway:

FACT! Opinions like "the album is great" are subjective. That means they could go either way depending on the listener. I said that before, but you must have been a little confused about the meaning of the word (a problem that seems systemic).

FACT! You're completely right in that I could not write a song like "Living on a Prayer." I'm not that arrogant. That said, I could definitely write one that sounds like it using the same formula, so I think that puts me at the same level as Jon Bon Jovi.

FACT! I might be a dick.
paul kennedy Dec 23, 2009, 4:01pm UTC
I actually meant TRIPE, English expression but I can’t be held responsible for your ignorance, surely as a journalist English and all that accompanies it should be a strong point of yours? When I said this album is great FACT! It went to number 1, so surely having a number 1 album is a great achievement thus making the album great regardless of its audience or genre. If having a number 1 album doesn’t make it great then I guess that means there never will, has been or will ever be another great album, again! Yet again ‘’Work for the working man’’ is in homage to ‘prayer’ for modern times, there’s another 11 tracks that bear no resemblance to previous songs you’ll be glad to hear or not as the case may be!
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 4:25pm UTC
Are you sure you aren't mildly illiterate? You probably thought Crash was the best movie you've ever seen too. You just might be what's wrong with this country.
paul kennedy Dec 23, 2009, 4:51pm UTC
HAHA! No far from it!! I’m actually a real journalist NCTJ trained and everything and I’m from the UK with a British law degree to boot. So cant blame me for your countries woes I’m afraid! Good too see you stayed on point with the actual issue we were debating though, case in point I think! Also your negative attitude towards your fellow American is what’s wrong with your country.
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 5:14pm UTC
Oh, but Paul, that's where you're mistaken. I was staying on point. I asked if you were illiterate because you seemed to respond while ignoring my bit about subjectivity, forging ahead, blindly, into another rant about the warrants of charts. I've also addressed the value of commercial success, but your legal training must've stunted your reading comprehension.

A real journalist! Pardon me, your horrible taste is excused. What publication do you write for, Paul? You've certainly proven yourself a gifted scribe, and I'd love to read some of your work.

Of course, I jest. If you are a proper representation of what passes as a journalist and a lawyer in your country, (strictly judging from your grasp of basic syntax) those exams must be pretty lax.

But, look at me, I've gotten off topic. I'm sure you're just a charming fellow and, other than this Bon Jovi tiff, we'd agree on every account and maybe even have a good time out at the pub.

Cheers!

P.S. I do sincerely apologize for accusing you of being an American. It is, at times a scathing insult, and I, for some reason, lumped you in with that rotten lot. Forgive me.
Eva M. Dec 23, 2009, 5:06pm UTC
Paul, for being a journalist, you certainly have some spelling and grammar issues. Slightly alarming. Any way, Andrew, your ability to incite Gather drama is remarkable. Hilarious!
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 5:19pm UTC
Thanks Eva. It would seem there are few things I do as well as cause indignation. It's a gift, it's a curse.
elliot brown Dec 23, 2009, 5:35pm UTC
i wanna know what crap you think is great. and what do you really want bon jovi and other rock bands to sing to your shitty face about? I want you to listen to Arch Enemy loud and I hope the devil rapes your ass. Up the irons!!!
Andrew Fatato Dec 23, 2009, 5:49pm UTC
Oh dear. I think Elliot snapped.
paul kennedy Dec 23, 2009, 6:03pm UTC
I assume ‘Eva M’ your taking into account I am English and there are differences in spelling so please don’t panic! In fact find me one word that I have spelt wrong? As for grammar this is a discussion board not The Times final print, so sorry for not proof reading first, a bit lazy I know!
Andrew I happen to like Americans, ‘Bush’ aside. Although he did make for good entertainment! Guess we will have to agree to disagree on the Bon Jovi issue! All I will say is, I bet the majority of responses on here are negative rather than positive!
Barbara Lyon Dec 24, 2009, 1:43am UTC
Andrew, you are a complete ass (so in your case, looks are NOT deceiving) to think that someone like you could actually humiliate Bon Jovi. They are rock royalty.
januanto nugroho Dec 24, 2009, 5:07am UTC
Oh Man, you are still young!!! But completely you are idiot with your article. Just listen to your heart, you wrong in here. No matter with your arrogance and different position. I believe about ethic, and a good article even though a troll article, it must follow in rule of ethics. I bet also same with Paul.

You said :
Jon Bon Jovi's mom was a waitress at a Playboy club because she thought it'd be fun, and his dad was a hair dresser. If his songs were about Playboy bunnies and daddy hair dressers than I guess I'd be ok with it.

How about your Mom??!!!
I love My Mom even She is a whore.

(Sorry about grammar)
sam Gosiewski Dec 24, 2009, 9:25am UTC
Im a massive Jovi fan and couldn't care less what other people or the critics for that matter think about them, if you (Andrew) don't like bon jovi why have you wasted your time writing about them, pathetic or what. There's millions of people out there who like Bon Jovi, at least Bon Jovi can write there own lyrics aswell, whereas not many people do now. so your opinion means fuck all, more people would like you if you wrote things on bands you like, you would then get some good comments back and you can discuss stuff about them. oh and just quit it with slagging people of, its doing you no good.
elliot brown Dec 24, 2009, 11:43am UTC
still never told us all what he likes as far as band go.
Barbara Lyon Dec 24, 2009, 12:54pm UTC
Merry Christmas and a happy healthy holiday to all the members of Bon Jovi and their families.
Barbara Lyon Dec 24, 2009, 1:09pm UTC
Just this minute, the mail was delivered and I received a blue "Bon Jovi" patch that I intend to sew on my jeans pocket and wear to "The Circle" concert. I also got some "Bon Jovi" temporary tattoos - all on ebay....just in case the fans out there want some. Show your love and pride for Bon Jovi!
elliot brown Dec 24, 2009, 9:04pm UTC
merry christmas to you too ..enjoy your concert!
rui amaral Dec 31, 2009, 7:39pm UTC
wath??? the new album is great!!!!!!
Erik Edson Jan 6, 2010, 4:15pm UTC
Andrew, this is just about the funniest comment thread I've ever seen on Gather. "...I hope the devil rapes your ass"??? REALLY? There are people in this world who care for this mediocre band so much that they'll coordinate an attack on your article and say things like that?

Not only did they all comment, but they hand to go through the steps of registering and confirming new Gather accounts to do it.

Go back to high school, kids.
Debbie A. Jan 6, 2010, 5:59pm UTC
Well obviously while it pains me to say it, you are entitled to your opinion, but as a true Jovi nut for the past 23 years and someone who thinks The Circle totally rocks, I feel I cannot leave this website without telling you that you suck LMAO!!!
Debbie A. Jan 6, 2010, 6:05pm UTC
I also wonder what the hell is wrong with fans moaning about ticket prices, sure the VIP packages are expensive but heres a thing, DONT BUY THEM, just go and pay the normal price and stop your bitching. If they come back to New Zealand any time soon, I'M THERE WITH HUGE STONKING BELLS ON, and I won't be moaning about the cost. Mind you having said that, if they charge a thousand dollars I'm going to have to sell body parts to be there!!!!
Debbie A. Jan 6, 2010, 6:06pm UTC
and and PS if you call Bon Jovi a medicore band one more time I will find you and smother you in your sleep!!!!! grin. to the guy who says he hopes the devil rapes your ass, too funny, laughed out loud over that one!!!
Joy McCormick Jun 1, 2010, 8:56pm UTC
Sounds to me like someone is seriously JEALOUS of the success of Bon Jovi.

If he sucks so bad, please explain to me why EVERY SINGLE SHOW is sold out?

Time to take a real long hard look in the mirror and decide who really sucks here. And I can assure you that it's not the guy who has succeeded to the point of total world recognition.

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