Update On The Lesbian's Pregnancy World
Well, it’s been a little over a week since I announced to all of you that I have been trying (by the hardest) to get pregnant. Since then, I have gone to the doctor, which I will get to in a moment, AND I have been having symptoms out the ass; not literally, but I’m sure you get it.
I keep trying to tell myself that I shouldn’t get too overexcited at the very possible chance that I am NOT pregnant. (I hate to even say those words). I don’t want to get my hopes too high and then have them smashed in my face. Still, the symptoms I’m having just hinder all my effort.
Firstly, I have been waking up with the worst nausea I’ve ever had. It feels like a freaking hangover, which, true, I AM use-to, and have had enough of throughout my life to know what they feel like. However, I stopped drinking, which in itself is hard enough, so why am I still suffering with the worst part of having a nice cocktail without the benefits of actually getting to drink it. HORRIBLE!
Any-who, that’s just the beginning, it gets much worse. Of all things that could start getting out of wack, my BOOBS are the next problem. Yeah, my boobs. Why them? What did they ever do to anyone…? O.K, well… maybe they have caused some damage, but nevertheless, I was not expecting for my damned breasts to start hurting, and with the intensity that they are hurting as well. My poor girlfriend can’t even touch them without me screaming in pain. I say poor girlfriend, which is true, but what about me and my needs?
Next, the other side effects aren’t too horrible, but they are still there, and only making it harder for me to not get my hopes up. First, there’s this tired thing that has been consuming me each day. I’ve been feeling exhausted even without any strenuous activity. I’ve been sleeping a lot, which I usually don’t do.
Then, I’ve been having the strangest cravings. And it’s not as simple as just wanting something specific to eat, I HAVE to have that specific thing with no ifs and or buts about it. It’s kind of funny actually, until I end up fat and useless, but wait… I want that to happen, right. I guess it comes with the territory.
I went to the doctor two days ago and was finally prepared to get the final answer to the question I’ve been dying to know: am I pregnant or am I not? I though for sure that I’d have my answer. However, the doctor simply told me that my hormone levels weren’t strong enough yet, but she’s not ruling it out, and I am to return back to have another pregnancy test in one week.
Now, maybe you can understand why this entire process is driving me nuts. First I get a hard to interpret result on my home pregnancy test with the faintest line I’ve ever seen after getting countless negative results before then. Then, I finally go to the doctor, and I still don’t have an answer.
Well, I guess good things come to those who wait. That’s the best I got right now, and I am still trying to stay positive without getting too excited. My lover, Maria is in denial about the whole thing. She won’t be satisfied until the test shows that I am without a doubt pregnant. You can’t blame her, really.