I've enjoyed reading everyone's Christmas list and I do wish that I was a millionaire and could just go through and fulfill all of those lists. The most I will probably be able to do is go back and read & rate some old posts...and I'm not sure I'll be able to do that in time for it to impact your gather points.
As I made my list, I realized my wishes were more wants than needs. No one can buy me the most important thing I need: health for me and my family. Many of you have already given me wise advice and guidance. So, I hope you don't mind if I have a little fun with my list. It's not serious, so calm down before you read it. Don't think I'm so well off or even uppity to think I'm too good for any of these gifts. With that being said, here's some things I really don't want for Christmas...from my gather friends or anyone else...
1. The Complete Barry Manilow Encyclopedia
After all, I am a walking, talking Barry Manilow Encyclopedia and I know several of you would like to spend next year with no "Barry Manilow Updates." (Sorry, that's one wish I could grant, but refuse to even consider it.)
2. A "Best of Nancy Grace" DVD
I know she has many fans (among whom my mother must rank pretty high). And Nancy Grace may mean well with her popular Headline News show. Personally, she gets on my nerves. Since I've been standing at my mom's, I've had about as much as I can take.
3. Steroids, antibiotics and strange doses of vitamins
My doctor keeps me stocked with a legal (and hopefully healthy) stock of each of this. In fact, if some of these don't start working soon and vitamins are on your wish list, send me a pm with your address ;)
4. Grass Seeds or fertilizer
When I moved into this house was about the same time I joined gather. Clean out the cobwebs of your mind and I'm sure you'll recall my nonstop rants about my problems getting grass to grow. This year, we finally came out of a drought and had record rainfall each month. I've actually had to pay someone to mow my yard virtually every week. Even this week...the end of November.
5. A lawnmower
The last post may lead some of you to believe I need a lawnmower. Hey...I'm usually frugal. I don't get my nails done, color my hair or drive a fancy car. Let me have this one wasteful vice. Plus, it's not about the money. I'm helping develop the work skills and work ethics of the teen that lives up the street. ; )
6. An Al-Anon Sponsor
Been there, done that, won't do it again.
7. Food of any kind
Remember...as of this writing, I'm still trying to get over the Thanksgiving turkey. And the midnight refrigerator raid in which I ate all of the fudge my MIL had sent me in one setting. (In case my MIL reads this, please send more.)
8. A Maid
O.K., I would love to have some help. Who wouldn't? Most of you know I'm a little on the messy side. Someone coming in just one afternoon a week to help with the chores would be great. Here's the problem: my house is so messy I would have to pull an all-nighter to get it clean enough for the maid. I wouldn't want anyone (especially a stranger) to have to confront my home in it's current condition. I mean...the kitchen and the bathrooms are okay. The same cannot be said of the guest bedroom, which houses my laundry sorting system. Or the living room, where the coffee table doubles as a mail, newspaper and magazine archive of sorts
9. A gift card to Macy's, Nordstroms or even the Banana Republic
You all know I'm way too cheap to shop at any of this place. Anyway, of couse none of these stores are locted in the middle of nowhere. I saw a beautiful pair of pants in the Banana Republic's window the last time I went to the mall. The price tag caused me to hyperventilate.
10. A Dictionary/Grammar Handbook
I know this would be a tempting one for all of you because my posts usually contain a misspelled word or some odd grammar mistake. Well, these look like mistakes. Actually, the misspelled words and grammatical errors that seem to slip into my work are intentional and deeply metaphoric.
Merry Christmas to all of my gather friends!