Tim Lincecum Wins Second Consecutive Cy Young--Palin Furious, Goes Rogue

Tim Lincecum created a new entry in the baseball record book by being the first player ever to win consecutive Cy Young awards in his first two full seasons.  Sarah Palin, a dark horse in the race, has cried foul and is asking for a recount.  In a short printed statement Palin's staff announced, "Governor Palin believes that the NL Cy Young voting this year was manipulated by ACORN.  She requests a recount and will file the necessary documents shortly."

The official vote count for the top 3 spots was Lincecum with 100, Chris Carpenter with 94, and Adam Wainwright with 90.  Palin received no votes.  Lincecum averaged 10 strikeouts per nine innngs and 1.05 baserunners per inning, numbers that indicate Lincecum's dominance of hitters.  Palin averaged 0 strikeouts per 9 innings and had a mathematically undefined ratio of base runners per inning due to her not having appeared in a major league game this year.

Sources in the Palin cartel who prefer to remain anonymous say that Palin is outraged.  One staffer said "She's been muttering about 'That drug addled half breed' all morning," apparently in reference to Lincecum's recent plea bargain on a misdemeanor marijuana charge in Washington and his mixed race ancestry.  "She believes that having been in many cities that have Major League Baseball teams qualifies her for the Cy Young award." said the same staffer.   "She says that her experience as a point guard gives her an edge over baseball players."

Lincecum made no mention of Palin in his remarks to reporters.  He said "Both the guys I was going up against in Wainwright and Carpenter had tremendous seasons. Given that, especially (with the arm surgery) Carpenter came off of and what Wainwright did as a workhorse, I didn't know how the cards were going to fall. It was a lucky one for me. I'll take them as they come, I guess."

Palin reportedly seethed when staffers read Lincecum's remarks to her.  One Palinista claims that her response was "Put that little punk on ice and we'll compare fast balls.  I'll bet he wears figure skates and a tutu to go with that hair."  When asked about Palin's arm, one staffer said "One of her favorite team building exercises is snowball wars involving the entire staff.  She's deceptively fast but her control is not that great.  One thing you've got to watch for is that she puts rocks in her snowballs."

NNN political and paranoid delusion consultant Dr. Karl Rogers says, "Look for Palin's rage to escalate.  I believe she views this award as evidence that sports writers have become a party to what she sees as a conspiracy by the liberal mainstream media to discredit her."