In one of the most frantic years for the hooring industry, Sarah Palin has captured the coveted Media-Hoor of the Year Award for 2009. In so doing she bested the efforts of three worthy challengers. All are described below.
But first, a couple of definitions may be in order. For this purpose, a hoor is a man or woman who indulges in ego gratification. It should not be confused with the word whore, which is generally defined, of course, as one, usually a woman, who indulges in casual and indiscriminate sex.
Also the term media hoor refers to a man or woman who, with little or no record of accomplishment or talent (beyond being a successful hoor), seeks and achieves ego gratification through the mainstream media. It should not be confused with the term media magnet, which describes a celebrity who actually does possess a degree of talent or a record of accomplishment.
So, with that under our belts, let’s move on to those who have made this the most exciting while, at the same time, the most annoying hooring year in recent memory.
OUTSTANDING MEDIA-HOOR OF THE YEAR
In 2008, she seemed to come out of nowhere to be the Republican nominee for vice president and it wasn’t long before it looked like she’d be going back to nowhere. After a disastrous interview on national television, many expected her to be dropped from the ticket.
But she wasn‘t.
Following the losing campaign, after which she was even denied the opportunity to give a concession speech, many more figured that they’d seen the last of her.
But they hadn’t.
Realizing that being the governor of a far-away state was, apparently by then, far below her hooring expectations, she jettisoned the unfinished job, blithely unconcerned with the effect it had on her slim resume. Many, not aware of her motives, were sure that her future finally lay nowhere other than out on the tundra, field-dressing elk and caribou.
But it didn‘t.
Suddenly, she turned up in the northern reaches of New York state and utterly destroyed a mainstream Republican’s campaign. Many were shocked and assumed the party leaders would get her under control.
But they couldn‘t.
In one of the more masterful strokes in the annals of hoordom, she and her co-writer penned a book that is about to be released and she is now in the process of conducting a presidential campaign that is masquerading as a book tour. Hitting several “battleground states” and limiting her appearances to areas where she is popular, it is evident that her momentum is building. However, many critics - and there are many - point to the inaccuracies in the advanced copies of her book and her seemingly petty complaints, and they say she’ll surely be sent packing within the week.
But, if history is any indicator, she won’t be sent anywhere.
Sarah Palin has fashioned mistakes and misstatements into an art form, and many still don’t get it. Perhaps she picked it up watching Muhammad Ali wear down his opponents by inviting punches with his rope-a-dope strategy. In any event she has not only been perceptive enough to see the value her tactic provides, that of being perceived as an outsider and a woman under constant attack, but also how the advantage thus gained can be compounded many times over as a result of the civil war ongoing within the Republican party.
With few accomplishments to her credit, Sarah Palin has proven to be more than qualified for the Media-Hoor of the Year Award. Don’t be surprised if, out of the ashes of the battle between the moderate and right wings of the party, the Palinites become a force to be reckoned with in 2012.
Don’t go away, Tina Fey.
THE NICE TRY AWARD
As the balloon floated out over the Colorado plain it was beginning to become apparent that a major contender for the top spot in hoordom had gone but a step too far. Richard Heene, a self-described storm chaser, will not be forgotten easily, however. It had been no small feet to have managed to get his wife, Mayumi, on the ABC reality show “Wife Swap.” Furthermore, he had engineered a major article featuring his family in a Colorado newspaper.
The hoax that ended Heene’s successful hooring string - the false claim that his son, Falcon, was aboard the runaway balloon - was intended to make the Heenes irresistible to a producer that was considering yet another reality show based on the family. The subsequent crash landing of the balloon, however, may have been symbolic of the end of this chapter in Heene’s quest for ego gratification.
Naturally, it didn’t end without a 15-minute burst of additional fame, as the Heenes managed to appear on several talk shows. Media-hooring is a difficult obsession to shake, especially after achieving a degree of success.
Thursday, the Heene’s attorney said the husband and wife will plead guilty to the balloon-hoax crimes in return for probation or possibly 60 to 90 days in jail. After that, stay tuned. When they’re not chasing storms, they are likely to be creating them.
THE BAD TRY AWARD
There’s no denying that she’s pretty, but what a drama queen. Her hooring efforts, while unbelievably successful, definitely fall in the “annoying” category to many. As a result, this tribute will attempt to be short.
That may be difficult, but here goes a try. Her name is Carrie Prejean. She became Miss California USA back in April. During the pageant she announced her opposition to same sex marriage. She went on to come in second in the Miss USA pageant. She then sued the pageant organizers for revealing that she had recently had breast augmentation surgery.
She became a hero to her fellow church members in San Diego and a spokesperson for a group opposing gay marriage.
Then, there were the partially nude pictures circulating on the internet, described by a pageant judge as going “beyond” what is “appropriate,” representing a “violation of her contract.” And most recently, her appearance on the Larry King Show, during which she turned off her headset and threatened to walk off, when the matter of the photos came up.
And the allegations of lying and….oh well, you get the gist. Clearly, this is a person who has generated a huge amount of publicity in fairly short order. And, like the Swine flu, she doesn’t appear to be going away. It is simply impossible to overlook her.
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
This is somewhat of a departure from the norm because this individual actually does have a record of achievement, but the gap he has created, over the years, between the level of his accomplishments and the level of his self-generated publicity is difficult to ignore.
Joe Lieberman has been a Senator from Connecticut for the past 21 years. The spikes in his publicity gains over this time span have come about through his pattern of unusual or extreme positions, which some might see as attempts to gratify his ego.
This has included his sponsoring the so-called “Iraq Resolution,” with others, authorizing George W. Bush to attack Iraq, his subsequent strong endorsement of Bush’s war policies to the point of discouraging dissent by his peers, his announcement two years ago that the U.S. should attack Iran, his public and very aggressive support of John McCain for president, opposing Barack Obama, and his recent announcement that he would join a Republican filibuster if the public option is proposed in the healthcare reform bill.
His tenure may be limited, however. Of those who voted for him in 2006, only 30% say they would do so today. Perhaps Sarah Palin will ask him to be her running mate.
Dave McGill, News Correspondent
Dave’s column, “The Contrarian,” generally published every Friday, to Gather Essential News and other groups will sometimes present a contrary view to various aspects of the news, or an alternate take on the conventional wisdom of the day. It will also often appear on other days of the week
Dave has been a senior officer of an eastern insurance company, involved in economic projections and investment strategy, president of a Midwestern mortgage banking company, and a financial consultant in Southern California, serving clients in the field of commercial real estate development.
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