Well, I haven't written anything in a few days because things had been so busy. My MIL got lower left lobe pneumonia and was to the point I was having to tell her each and every single thing to do and she'd look at me like she didnt' understand. It was a trying time. They put her on steroids, again, and she is much better now. But.........
the steroids make her so mean! So the past few days ahve been so challenging. She is accusing me of not letting her do anything. She wants to go home, which I don't blame her at all, she alwasys was a very independent person. She wants to drive her car and she gets mad when we try to explain to her that she had those moments where she cannot remember what is going on or she gets totally lost. We have tried to explain to her that it would be bad enough if she got out and hurt herself but if she hurt an innocent person, would be horrible. She says she understands then it all starts over in a few hours.
I let her try to dress herself, make her bed and write a check all by herself today. She was so frustrated and upset by the time she got done that she "laid into me" for about 30 minutes. then she broke down crying and saying "I cannot stand this I can't stand the way I am becoming." I felt so bad for her but all I could do was keep my arm around her and tell her this is what we are here for and why she is staying with us. We are here to only help her not to make her life miserable.
I think she is thinking I am taking some of her money because she put her checkbook in her pant's pocket today before your check writing episode. She also hid her purse in her bedroom.
This all is such a challenge and I aim to deal with it in a Godly way because that is what she deserves and what God wants us to do.
I know this all has to be so painful for her and so hard to understand, well a lot of it she cannot understand.
I just want to add I am not writing this to belittle my MIL at all. I am writing it to maybe help someone else or someone else offer their experience. She deserves all the respect in the world and I am trying to do that . I would like to ask any of you that do pray if you would life my MIL and my hubby and i up in your prayers. Thanks and God bless you!
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Comments: 25
My mother has dementia and Parkinson's. Like your mother-in-law, she was a vibrant woman who "ran her own show" as she often said. Now, she has to rely on mostly my sister and myself. The others live out of town. I think that what is so painful to watch is that she knows that she's not herself. She often complains that she can't remember what she was doing just a minute ago. Then, she surprises us and retells verbatim a story about our childhood with perfect clarity. She enjoyed being a mother.
Good luck with your mother-in-law. It seems to me that you are showing a generous spirit towards her. I think that is the best way to honor her contributions throughout the years. And, don't forget to be good to yourselves, as well.
you are so very strong!
hey...you think steroids would have the opposite effect on me and make me nicer? everything is frustrating me these days and I am taking it out on my loved ones.
I did a lot on in-home health care work and I had several clients who were going through this. In fact, I had a client who was as this same stage. She was never angry with me but sure was with her daughter. The daughter would have just left the house after delivering groceries and in a few minutes my sweet client would tell me that her daughter never visited and that she had no food in the house. It was a very sad time for the entire family.
Remember to take care of yourself, Cathie. If you don't do that you can't take care of your MIL.
Blessings.
PIF
Blessings
Smiles" :-D