humanity

Nice sentiment. I still think we are driven by the unknown because most of us fear it.

Sweeping generally, I don't believe many if not most people think they unknown anything. Meaning: many, if not most, people feel they know exactly what other races are all about, so, the other races aren't unknown. After all, all us white folks have seen the TV The Jeffersons, so we know what black folks are all about.

I had an incident last night, where a coworker did Jean a kindness. Another coworker told him: "You'd better not do stuff like that. Karl will be mad at you." Now, this second asshole in his three months with us, I've maybe said eighteen words to, which is another story.

When I heard that, I said: "What the fuck?" I'm going to get mad because one human being does another human being a kindness? Hell, I'm going to celebrate that moment because moments like that are so rare.

The point is this, Nyota: the asshole thinks he knows me. He doesn't have a clue he's dead wrong about what I think and feel but that doesn't matter -- in his pin-headed universe, he knows.

I have another version of this post where I go about about when I die and rot back into the earth that birthed me, I finally be home again, but I couldn't find it.

Mayhaps your history with the asshole caused you to be angry. A lot of folk say stuff like that just to make conversation.

I wonder how many white folk will THINK they know us black folk after seeing stuff like the movie Precious.

You could be right.

Several weeks ago, his first week on the job, this guy called me to the back room for a private meeting. He told me he knew I was looking at him "like on this last job" and I was to stop. Since I know better than to argue with crazy, I simply apologized and promised never to look at him again. Since, I've done my very better to ignore him. I don't bother with people who take a rational or irrational dislike to me. I have no control over what other people think of me and besides, what other people think of me is really none of my business. I do, however, do my best not to inflict myself on them.

I assume the same respect. I catch him eye-fucking me all the time. I've thought about giving him a picture. He eye-fucks Jean, too.

I do understand among male coworkers a certain level of light-hearted kidding around among friends, as my boss puts it, takes place. However, I don't find jokes about my wife, my relationship with my wife, what my wife thinks about my penis, calling a black guy Buckwheat, saying 'they work me like a n-,' slurs toward woman, races, ethnic backgrounds, nationalities and sexual orientation offered up as jokes funny, amusing or light-hearted kidding around among friends.

To assume these people my friends is to abuse the meaning of the word friend.

I have been told: boys will be boys.

The other night, one of my coworkers comes from the bathroom, tells me excitedly: "Don't go in there! Someone's taking a crap!"

I puzzle at him, but go about my business. Like Chicken Little spreading the news, he proclaims to another coworker: "Don't go in the bathroom! Someone's taking a crap!"

The other Ha-ha-ha'ed loud and forced. "Someone's taking a shit! Ha ha ha! That's funny!"

I feel like Alice through the fucking looking glass.

Doesn't matter what movies people see. The white folk will believe the truth as they wish to see it, not as it is. Willful ignorance, I call that. Since before vaudeville until The Cosby Show, the black man has willfully played the clown for the white man. You've written about this. In our society it's easier to play along than stand tall, which is why my work environment is as it is.

I see glimmers of light, then getting sucked back into the blackness. I love humanity. Human beings, not so much.

Ohhhh, so it's THAT asshole! I know you've mentioned his kind of talk before.

As far as willfully playing the clown, some chose that route in order to live way back when. Now the punishment is much more insidious. Many choose to pay a price for not doing so. I'd be financially set if I had grinned and kissed proffered butts in the past.

I wasn't speaking of just his speech above, Nyota. That's the speech of the culture I work in. Playing the clown, I was being PC, you know the expression. And, I was sweeping too general, I know.

We -- meaning us human critters, make me sad at time.

Me too, friend.

I told you before, if I were born black, they would have hanged me shortly into my teens. Being white has given me cover.

By the way, those "stem" ancestors were several million years before that and at the beach, not on the grasslands. We had to have evolved upright walking (being bipedal) in the water. Going on two legs in very inferior to four (try to outrun a small dog who has a sprained foot). But in the water having only two legs is an advantage (try to outswim a large, healthy dog). On the grasslands a bipedal primate is an easy lunch, especially when pregnant. Besides, your nose points down and you have such long hair on your head but no fur to keep you warm or to protect you from the sun.