Lesbian Goat Sex, Boomerang Persians and other NaNoWriMo insanity

My previous article was about how much I was looking forward to participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) this year and sort of letting my Gather friends know that I WOULD (eventually) be back.

I have rarely felt as at home on the web as I do on the NaNoWriMo site. Maybe it's the time pressure of producing 50,000 words in 30 days or bust! but the atmosphere is intense and all about writing....specifically about novel writing. Folks will share their personal experiences as a way of adding clarity to suggested plot, characters, settings, etc. but there's no political flaming drama going on. Everyone is united in a common cause and I really enjoy visiting the site for ideas on my lunch hour. I make notes on my pad of paper (which goes everywhere with me now, even to the restroom--you just NEVER KNOW when inspiration will strike!) and fit the ideas into the manuscript when I get home...and then start writing the actual scenes.  

So I was adventuring along one of the forum threads on the NaNoWriMo website, checking out subplot ideas that various other NaNoWriMo-ers had offered up for adoption. The only rules are that if you snag one, say so--and if you have one you're willing to adopt out, describe it....and be nice when you do it.

I've always believed that adage about 'truth is stranger than fiction' and that a touch of realism (particularly if you're writing a fantasy novel--I'm not, but more on that in a moment) adds a lot of depth to the story. If you're really trying to sucker a reader into that 'willing suspension of disbelief' you gotta work at it.

So, based on personal experience--though I didn't state that at the time--I offered up the following subplot:

Your FMC lets herself be talked into 'barnsitting' a billygoat from a neighboring dairy goat farm. She knows nothing about goats other than from the petting zoo.

The ONLY comment about this subplot so far is a crack about 'Isn't it usually only nannies that are found on a dairy goat farm?'

And my reply.....

"Nanny goats have to get pregnant and have kids in order to give milk (called 'freshening)--and in order to do that, they have to have--GASP-- goat sex.

Last time I checked, lesbian goat sex doesn't produce milk, unless frog genes have been used to modify goat DNA.

(Some types of frogs are able to switch genders in order to fertilize eggs in the absence of an available mate.)

I think we would have heard about such a scientific achievement and the social protests would have been deafening.

Common practice in dairy goat herds to stable the billy elsewhere since goat testosterone has such a powerful stink that proximity of the billy to a freshened nanny taints the milk with its odor.

I was given a Nubian billy goat for an anniversary present and can speak authoritatively about the stink and the antics that a billy can get up to as creative outlet for all that odiferous energy. (And yes, I divorced the idiot.)"

My son is also an aspiring writer and thoroughly enjoys a witty exchange, so I was sharing this excerpt from the forum with him from my bedroom as he finished getting ready to leave for work in his bedroom.

My little Persian girl-kitty, hearing her beloved Mama's voice, jumped on the side of the bed where I sat with my laptop in hand and began 'talking' to me--loudly. I pushed her off the bed, she jumped right back up and howled again. I pushed her off, she jumped back up, howled.....we went through this antic at least ten times in the space of a minute before I became so choked with laughter that my son hurried into my bedroom to see if I was actually choking on something.

I'm fine now, though somewhat tired....and it hasn't even been a week yet.

Still, the laughter almost...ALMOST made up for finding out that while moving some scenes around I had pasted some stuff twice.....and my word count is in reality, somewhere around 6500 and I am woefully behind by around 6,000 words. 

I'm told that the second week is when things can get really bad....I think I'm already there.  

Back to the keyboard.....