Elusive Expectations

Walter Mitty-esque existence

one day blends with the next

inured and numb

...under life’s thumb

with life banal I’m vexed

myopically I stare ahead

for tunnel's light to view...

get up my nerve

...to round the next curve

more darkness...nothing new

no colors in my mundane life

there's only shades of gray

and many sheaves

...of leafless trees

“one glimmer...please?” I pray

I have no hope for what’s ahead

my efforts fallen short

I’ve tried it all

...and each time fall

no praise in my report

I sit in gloom here in my room

and contemplate my life

I did stand tall

...but lost it all

success...my kids...my wife

I close my eyes in amid my sighs

and dream of used-to-be

there is no night

...all’s bold and bright

no doldrums...sailing free

I paint a picture in my head

of what I dreamed I’d be...

successful, true

...each day is new...

through rosy lenses see

my pride in life...a gorgeous wife

adoring, loving, true

my kids respect

...as I reflect...

my home and car are new

I’ve reached for all and have stood tall...

eclat within my grasp

I paint broad strokes

...each nuance coax

a monu...mental task 

my painting has no darks or grays

just glorious colors all

rich greens and golds

...ripe reds behold

I hang it on my wall...

stand back a bit and look at it

“This is my dream”, I said,

wishing it bigger,

...I pull the trigger

and sign my name in red.