by Stefanie Plum, Gather Partner Team
Member since:
February 19, 2008

Win a copy of Bill Engvall's "Aged and Confused" DVD & CD!

November 06, 2009 10:57 AM EST (Updated: November 06, 2009 03:26 PM EST)
views: 471 | comments: 112

The thing that makes any entertainer successful is the ability to connect with an audience. It's the quality of sharing the humor in everyday situations that has made Bill Engvall one of the top comedians today. You know him from Blue Collar TV, Blue Collar Comedy Tour, The Movie and The Bill Engvall Show. Bill Engvall will world-premiere his new stand-up comedy in the television special “Aged and Confused”, Sunday November 22nd on Comedy Central.

Gather is giving away three DVDs and CDs of Bill Engvall’s “Aged and Confused”. For your chance to win, in the comment field below tell us, about a recent everyday situation that you found comical. Comments must be posted by Monday, November 23rd. Gather will draw three people to win the DVD and CD.


Check out a scene from Bill Engvall's "Aged and Confused":



Bill Engvall's Aged and Confused is available on DVD, November 23rd.

http://media-files.gather.com/images/d583/d49/d746/d224/d96/f3/full.jpg

One entry per person who participates in the chat. No purchase necessary. See official rules.
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Comments: 112

Beth - Doing God's work Daily J. Nov 6, 2009, 11:07am EST
I think Bill is a funny man.
Tara C. Nov 6, 2009, 11:11am EST
The most recent was when my mother-in-law posted on her daughters picture. The picture was of her 36 year old daughter swinging at a playground. She posted "Look at my daughter the swinger". The daughter then posted "mom, I don't think that's the right term. The MIL didn't get what it meant.
Shirley ♡ ☮ M. Nov 6, 2009, 12:34pm EST
Oh my ...that is too funny! My mother-in-law wouldn't know what it meant either. :)
Qpon Lady Nov 20, 2009, 9:49am EST
Too funny!
d d. Nov 6, 2009, 11:19am EST
I often will say to my husband "Can you try this milk, I'm not sure if it's spoiled." or "I left the applesauce out for you, I don't know if it's been in the refridge too long." "try this, do you think it's still good?".... He laughs and asks "did you recently up my insurance payout?".
T W. Nov 6, 2009, 11:21am EST
Even after we have been married for four years my husband still forgets that I can't hear! I still chuckle when he hands the phone to me for me to talk to my mother!
jenn g. Nov 6, 2009, 11:40am EST
these days, just about everything routine i do with my son is comical. he is turning 2 in a week and has been learning new words and phrases constantly. lately when i take him downstairs for breakfast and my mom's dog is in the kitchen he points to my moms room and tells her "get in your room"
Linda T. Nov 6, 2009, 11:46am EST
My five year old grandson can make any moment comical. The other day he was eating supper and suddenly slams his shoe onto the table. We asked if his shoe belonged there and he replied "it does when my foot is itchy".
that is funny!
Denise W. Nov 6, 2009, 12:30pm EST
My husband still chuckles at a coworker....she was asking for a thermometer and my husband said "you have two built in thermometers at the end of your arms"..she looked at him clearly confused. Another coworker then gave her a forehead thermometer which she proceeded to place on the back of her hand. The staff began to laugh and then she realized it belonged on her forehead so she raised her hand to her forehead and then also realised what my husband was talking about (feeling her head with her hand) and everyone, including her, burst out laughting.
colleen m. Nov 6, 2009, 12:34pm EST
I used to work in a warehouse with a good friend. She had the job of removing large stickers from metal drums with a rotary tool. I had the job of using a clamp truck to move the clean drums outside the warehouse. Our boss at the time always looked down on her and talked down to her. I was coming back inside the warehouse on the clamp truck to move more drums out when I heard *faintly* "Help me! Help me! Oh, nooooooo! Help me!". As I got around the drums I saw my friend with her shirt all wound up in her rotary tool and it was still plugged in. It bound her up something aweful and she was terribly affraid the boss would come around and see her. The whole thing was so hysterical, that I couldn't do anything for a few minutes but laugh! Eventually, I unplugged the tool and helped her unravel. It had anialated her shirt to where she had a bell shaped cutout all the way up to her bra. Luckily this happened before lunch so that she could go home and change, but making it out of the warehouse before the boss saw you was the trick. She had on sweatpants and we pulled them over her shirt to the "tourist look" level until she could make it to lunch. The boss never said a thing, but I know he thought it. It was so Laverne and Shirley - one of my favorite work memories!
Shirley ♡ ☮ M. Nov 6, 2009, 12:53pm EST
OH I have to have this DVD & CD!

We took my husband's grandfather one night out to dinner, mind you he doesn't say much. We went out to eat and then my daughter who was about 10 at the time needed something for school the next day so we stop at Walmart. My husband is in the car with his grandfather. As usual, me and my daughter are browsing and taking our time. My husband comes in after about 10 mins. says we need to go home.

We get out to the car and his grandfather has the window down. My daughter gets in the backseat and is freezing to death. She asks him to roll the window up. With the window up we smell something awful. My daughter immediately starts vomiting all the the car. My husband stops the car and we both get out. He opens the trunk and says, "Just great, not only do I have to clean up puke, but I have to help my 86 year old grandfather clean up and probably clean his pants out". His grandfather had a mishap and never said anything to my husband. I had to get back in the car and act like nothing happened. Of course, my husband had to say something to him and tried to make light of it.

My daughter still won't go to 99 because that is where we ate that night. It reminds her grampa's mishap. To this day I laugh everytime I think of it.
Recently my husband wanted his hair cut, and I do this for him at home with the clippers. He usually gets it started and then I finish up the haircut for him.
He went outside, made too swipes at his hair, ran into the house..into the bathroom. I asked him what he was doing (thinking he was doing his hair in the bathroom instead of outside), he came out & I busted out laughing...he starting cutting his hair but forgot to put the clipper insert in.
So he had just made 2 swipes at his hair - shaving it almost bald!
Mary G. Nov 6, 2009, 3:13pm EST
LOL I laughed at this one.
Mary G. Nov 6, 2009, 3:18pm EST
I think my recent funny trip to the grocery store would be the only thing I can think of as it happened today. This man walked up to me that I hadn't seen recently and said wow what happened to you and the other people around all looked shocked. I laughed and explained to the onlookers I lost 50 pounds once I stopped laughing.

I think the grocery store was happy, as every cart had a lot of produce, as I told them all its the first place I go in the grocery store now.
Sarah (I want points) Nov 6, 2009, 3:37pm EST
Every time I go grocery shopping SOMETHING comical happens...
DiAnA D. Nov 6, 2009, 3:40pm EST
when I was a Town Judge I had a trial. I asked the Jury foreman to write the verdict on a piece of paper and hand it to me.. what did write on that piece of paper??? the word "verdict"
Marsha S. Nov 6, 2009, 3:40pm EST
Laughter is the best medicine they say, and I believe it to be true!
This will be a great win for those who are lucky enough to be drawn for it.
RobbinLynn B. Nov 6, 2009, 3:41pm EST
My oldest Son (Chuck) was moving and he had too get a few services in his name, water, electric, and Phone. After he got moved in too his new place, I thought since a week has gone by,I would give him a call and see how he was doing.

Well, when I called Him, I got a message from his Phone , This is what I heard:
I have recently moved and made some changes in my life, leave your Number and I will get back with you if I don't call you back, Your One of My Changes.
That Boy, does have a sense of Humor..
Drew C. Nov 6, 2009, 3:42pm EST
Working in a craft store gives me an opportunity to help people gather together the supplies they need to show off their creativity. One day a pre-school teacher came in to get the items she needed to make a doll to teach her students how to tie shoe laces, button buttons, zip up zippers, etc. After about 1/2 hour we found all the lsupplies she needed to make the doll and the outfits with the buttons, zippers, etc. When I asked her if there waqs anything else she needed she asked: "Do you sell buttonholes?"
Monique Mealue Nov 6, 2009, 3:52pm EST
My comical moment is when me and my husband went shopping and when we went to the cashier. The person asked my husband first, "would you like to donate to a certain cause" and he said no, then asked me a few seconds later the same question and I said,"No". When we got to the car and started laughing and said, "He must be deaf, asking the same question a few seconds later.
anne ( way 2 crazy of a life ) c. Nov 6, 2009, 3:55pm EST
it had to be my son using the S**t word at us...
Vicky K. Nov 6, 2009, 3:59pm EST
My husband and I recently celebrated our 16th anniversary and the kids were at my parents so we enjoyed a meal at an upscale restaurant. The food was wonderful, we had a great time and the server could not believe we had been married 16 years, so we were feeling really young. Before we left our server presented us with a box of truffles and a card wishing us a happy anniversary. She wrote happy 16 years but someone else thought that was so long that they added a 2. So when I read the card it said happy 216th anniversary. She said she figured we would like it and we both found it quite funny.
Diana B. Nov 6, 2009, 4:00pm EST
I have a seasonal job selling calendars and it still amazes me the things people will say and or ask. I always find myself laughing at people who ask me if the calendars are CDs vinyl albums or oversized childrens' books. Several people every season ask me if we have calendars for years past and or want to know for what year the calendars we are selling are for. There are some people that ask if we sell maps, postcards and cards, which I end up directing them to someplace that does sell those kind of items. There was one lady who politely asked me what we sold and I told her calendars She looked as if she was confused and wanted to know what a calendar was, at which point I told her that it showed the 12 months of the year, days of the week, place to write stuff down, etc. Finally, something clicked and was totally embarassed by the whole incident.
Tami G. Nov 6, 2009, 4:24pm EST
I worked in an medical office & one of my co-workers & friend, melted Hershey kisses on a card used to check for blood in your stool. When the front desk girl came back with the cards she stated she did not know who they were from as she had found them on her desk with no name on them. My co-worker opened up the stool card, smelled it & then licked the one opened slot & stated she thought it was from Mr. Brown! I thought the front desk girl would die. She was so upset & told my co-worker that she was sick. We were hysterical. When the front desk girl found out about the Hershey's kisses being melted she told my friend she would never forget that incident.
Michelle S. Nov 6, 2009, 4:46pm EST
the grandkids are always doing something funny. grandson brayden always wants to go out in the backyard when he's visiting. we don't do a poop patrol very often. the last time they were here; brayden told papa he needed to get outside & pick up the poop so they could play in the yard.
karen h. Nov 14, 2009, 12:29pm EST
WE DONT CALL IT POOP PATROL WE CALL IT TIGGER PATROL , WHY YOU ASK? CAUSE WE ARE LOOKING FOR POOH LOL!!!
Brittney R. Nov 6, 2009, 4:50pm EST
When I was still working, my 2 year old son Elliott went to the babysitter's house daily. Well, she called him Elliott Smelliott as a joke one day, and he thought it was so funny that he started calling himself that. Whenever someone says hi and uses his name, he firmly informs them "I am not Elliott, I am Elliott Smelliott!" and he introduces himself as Elliott Smelliott to new people too. One salesman had a lot of facial hair, and when he asked Elliott's name, he told the guy "I"m Elliott Smelliott, and you are hairy like my daddy!"
Christine Zibas Nov 8, 2009, 1:07am EST
This one has me laughing out loud! Really! Too funny.
Teresa W. Nov 6, 2009, 5:02pm EST
The funniest moment I can remember is when my little grandson, who did NOT like potatoes, though he did like french fries and tater tots, said about his tater tots that someone had put potatoes in here! I laughed myself nearly unconcious! LOL
J G Nov 6, 2009, 5:08pm EST
World Series umpire rulings
Angel sent from God Secret Sisters Nov 6, 2009, 5:29pm EST
Larry was on the couch watching dvd Larry the cable guy Health Inspector.
I told larry to sit up on the couch because if he did nt he would fall asleep and something might happen.
Well he fell asleep and in the movie Larry's girlfriend came to the door and was banging and yelling for Larry (he was sleeping too) My Larry jumped off the couch and ran to the front door because he thought I locked out.
Shawnee G. Nov 6, 2009, 6:07pm EST
That is so funny. I love it.
Angel sent from God Secret Sisters Nov 6, 2009, 9:39pm EST
Shawnee
If you were there you would have been belly laughing.
Kelly K ~ ready for the New Year ~ Nov 6, 2009, 5:32pm EST
my 6 yo nephew, He keeps me laughing. At church last Sunday, he was asking his friends for their "Self" phone numbers. He thinks when we say "Cell"phone , we are saying "Self".
so he told me what his "self" phone # was.
another funny thing he says often is " a go"
If u ask him when he last
did something he says, "I did a go"
he is so cute and he keeps us laughing lol !!
Angel sent from God Secret Sisters Nov 6, 2009, 5:50pm EST
Another funny thing that happened to Larry was he was laying on the couch he wanted me to use my ten's machine on his leg (injury to his leg) So I put the electros on his leg, and was turning the dials I told him to tell me when he felt something. So he was not feeling anything so I kept turning it up , Kept asking are you feeling anything he said No .I thought geez he really is hurting. I said there is something wrong here. So I checked the plug I pushed it in and Larry Jumped 3 ft off the couch. It gave him a shock so bad he had no choice but up. It was funny at the time but it was a cruel and unual punishment.
Tiffany v. Nov 6, 2009, 5:52pm EST
I deal with the public everyday at work. One day at work I was running the register when I could clearly hear moaning and groaning. I was not too sure if I was the only one hearing this noise, so I kept my mouth as my mind began to wander in different directions. When I got a moment, I would walk towards the bathroom to see if the mystery noise was coming from behind the closed doors. No avail. So I kept wandering around a little bit when I notice this noise getting a little louder. About this time a panicked mother came up too me and said she could not find her 2 year old son. Well I put 2 and 2 together and thought of that strange noise. Turns out the baby boy sneaked away so he could hid in one of the register stalls to poop in his diaper.
I can remember laughing all day with my co-workers about that one! LOL
sally g. Nov 6, 2009, 6:01pm EST
my daughter she makes me laugh everyday. she does the most silliest things to make anyone laugh.
Shawnee G. Nov 6, 2009, 6:09pm EST
I would LOVE to have a copy of this DVD. Comedy is my favorite thing to hear and see, it is so much better then always seeing and hearing bad stuff on TV. I would rather smily and laugh my day away then be entertained by violence and other junk.
Shawnee G. Nov 6, 2009, 6:11pm EST
I walked in the kitchen the other day to see that my 3 year old had taken the cornstarch off of the island. It was a full container and she had MAYBE 3 minutes by herself to make a mess... well she did it. She looked like a ghost, the floor, the walls, the front of the stove- All smeared with cornstarch. Now, for those that do not know, cornstarch does NOT wipe off like flour would have. I am still finding it all over when I move things. My kitchen seems so dusty still... LOL.
Lynda F. Nov 6, 2009, 7:14pm EST
Bill, Jeff, Ron, and Larry are my all time fav's .... Something I found very commical was when I went to the HEP store to find plumbing parts for a friend of mine... We were already picking things out and was "sexual" about it.... Just talk mind you .. however we get in the store and the old guy that was helping us started asking if it was a male piece or female... I about lost it... THEN he said we needed a "NIPPLE" OMGGGGGGG I lost it and was out the door. I usually have a habit of making anything into a joke. Unless of course if it's very serious. Why live life miserable??
Kim M. Nov 6, 2009, 7:28pm EST
A couple days ago a coworker was telling us that she was trying to encourage her young teen boys to get jobs because her older daughters both had paper routes from the ages of 10/12 and up. The oldest boy has helped mow our lawn a couple times while my husband's back was out of place . He tells his mother (referring to us), "I have a job. I'm on call". We thought this was hilarious that a kid this young knew that term! We of course will be having him and his younger brother come over to rake leaves. =)
Vikki M. Nov 6, 2009, 9:34pm EST
(I LOVE Bill Engvall. he's such a hoot!)

As for an every day situation that I found comical... Well, it wasn't even that funny of a moment, but my coworker and I had been working one day late and it was pushing 12 hours of work. By this point we were so tired we were giddy and everything was making us giggle. At one point the manager of the store that we happened to be working at that day came up and asked if we had any wheels for one of our display hutches. Without thinking I instantly replied, "No, but we could reinvent them." Everyone paused for a moment and then the tired gigglies set in and for some reason the three of us had a good laugh. It's not funny now really, but in the moment it was.
Gina Raffa Nov 6, 2009, 10:10pm EST
Speaking slower and louder to people who can't understand English. this does not help, even though people think it does. haha...would love to win this !
Elaine A. Nov 6, 2009, 11:38pm EST
Would love to win this.
I work in retail every day something comical happens.

At least once a day someone will get on the elevator (while on the first floor) and say 1 please.

At least once a day someone will try to pay a different store's bill, and not belive that I can not take it.

At least once a day someone will ask for something we do not carry and insit we do carry it I am just lazy and don't want to help them.

At least once a day someone will yell at me "why did you move the escalator", getting our store confused with one of the other dept stores. (Duh like we would move the escalator.)

At lease once a day someone will ask me to make a deal with them. "This is to much money can you cut me a bargin on this I really want to buy this." (Like this is Let's Make a deal.)
lisa marchal Nov 6, 2009, 11:56pm EST
My entire life is a comedy.. or a tragedy (depending on the day) If I did not laugh, I would cry.. really... I think the funniest as of late is when my husband went to pick up the children from elementary school. The kids were sitting in the car and the 9 year old who has a bad speech problem... got upset that his 8 year old sister got his seat. He was frustrated and called her "fatso" The fact that she is skinny is evident and so she just overlooked his comment. His P.E. teacher who was speaking to my husband outside the car however got very upset as he thought that Elijah was calling her a "fat hoe" He was called to the office the next day and confronted by the Principal... he of course had no idea what the lady was talking about. I am kinda tickled by the situation now, however was very disturbed when a note came home.. but since it is now straightened out I can laugh about it.
Samantha W. Nov 7, 2009, 1:07am EST
A funny thing that happened to me (well not me.... my friend) a few days ago. We were in choir singing and she was not not there. So i received the music and had to give it to her later. I saw her a couple of hours later and gave her the music. When she opened her mouth and read some of it. She read the fragments that was written. It was so funny that she never connected the words. She then asked me what the song said and i was like OMG. Then she realized that what she just said was jibberish.
Trish A. Nov 7, 2009, 2:04am EST
I just returned from visiting my 15 month-old grandson. Every since he began eating food he has shown a strong dislike for chicken. If there was a piece of chicken in his baby food he would remove it from his mouth.

Now he's eating table food and I sat next to him and forgot his dislike for chicken and cut up a piece of chicken. He looked at me, put the chicken in his mouth, then removed it and tucked it under his plate!
April H. Nov 7, 2009, 3:30am EST
Recently my 4 year old grandaughter asked me to include pieces of red pepper in her lunch and snack box for school, so I was supplying them for her , later the teacher said wow Drea really likes Red Pepppers, she even picked them out as her favorite food and posted them on her poster of favorite foods to eat. Curious, since she had not made me aware that they were her favorites until recently I decided to ask her why she now liked Red Peppers, her reply was priceless. she said Grammy, you know I like the color 'Red' so I want Red Peppers because they make me popular! So I asked her how they do that and she said Oh Grammy........!!! They make me fart and burp and when I eat them I can fart and burp when I want to and everybody like me especially the boys!. I nearly died laughing, I have yet to tell the teacher but I have cut back on sending her to school with Red Peppers.
cadi w. Nov 7, 2009, 5:05am EST
I have a little kid's sense of humor! The other day my boyfriend and I were walking down the street, and every time we passed someone, he made a farting noise. I was laughing so hard!! It's just so funny to see people's reactions!
Linda J. Nov 7, 2009, 8:28am EST
While walking with my grandsons the other day, ages 5 and 3, they found a feather. The oldest one asked, "Mom mom, if we put this feather in the ground, will it grow a bird?" I thought that was the funniest thing!
Angela A. Nov 7, 2009, 9:21am EST
In order to win, I have to find a comical situation in every day life. Hmm...
Well, is it safe to say, that every day with my younger son Matthew has its moments?
He can do things that make you shake your head and wonder.
Like recently, he comes up to me out of nowhere, and gives me a kiss on my back or shoulder. I mean, who does that? It's really funny to me.
Leslie ~ from NYC ~ R. Nov 7, 2009, 12:45pm EST
Some children (middle school age) were in the library. The were relatively quiet - and decided it was time to leave the library as it was too quiet!!! I shared this with the librarian - as we've both spent so much time trying to quiet kids down.
Bill Engvall is my favorite of all the comedians on this tour.
Lillian L. Nov 7, 2009, 1:51pm EST
One year at Christmas, two co-workers and I decided we were going to try to instill a little Christmas spirit into the office where we worked with some truly miserable people. We shamed them into contributing a few dollars for decorations and then went to the base exchange's seasonal shop for decorations. The seasonal shop was adjacent to the commissary which was always busy. After driving around for a long time, we finally got a spot near the shop and right next to a forklift with its engine running. Since we had almost used up our entire lunch period wolfing down lunch and looking for parking, we were in a real hurry. When we came out of the shop, I was behind my friends searching for my keys. They thought someone was trying to steal my car because the engine was running. It turns out that because of the sound of the forklift and the rush, I had left the engine running, and we had locked the car as we exited. Fortunately, a kind soul in the office nearby had seen our predicament and came out with a coat hanger. (My car was a '71 Oldsmobile with the old style of locks which could be opened with a wire.) Neither my friends nor I was having any luck with the hanger, so when a car pulled up wanting my parking place, I went up to the driver and told him that he was welcome to the spot, if he could get the door opened for us. He must have been an expert with opening cars, because we were out of there quickly. The three of us were giggling all afternoon. I think our co-workers thought we had been drinking over the lunch hour.
Denise B. Nov 7, 2009, 1:58pm EST
while running the book fair, one of my volunteers had left the room for a moment and we suddenly heard the sound of a crying baby - all the rest of us were looking around for the baby - truly worried as the tone was one of distress- only to have the volunteer walk back in and say "Oh that is just my phone" we all just stood there and LAUGHED at ourselves as we were truly wondering where the baby was.
Denise B. Nov 7, 2009, 1:59pm EST
oh and I Love Bill he is quite funny :)
Lynn B. Nov 7, 2009, 2:25pm EST
My mom has trouble with her legs. She bumped ler leg and her leg was weeping liquid(no blood). She had no more bandages left so she used the old-fashioned handyman's tool--duct tape --to stop the weeping and went to the hospital. The nurses had a big surprise and a good laugh. On a good note my mom is much better now.
Mary M. Nov 7, 2009, 4:00pm EST
I was taking my son to his First Reconciliation class and he saw the car in front of us. He said, "Mommy, isn't that the same car you yelled at earlier?" Guess he's not the only one with something to confess . . . .
Juanita T. Nov 7, 2009, 8:27pm EST
When I kept my 2 granddaughters, aged 9 and 6 and they had a body wash war in the bathroom. I was fixing their dinner and went into the bathroom to get them for dinner. One had started putting body wash on the other and it blossomed into a full out war. I had several different body washes which were now empty. My bathroom was a mess and at first I was disappointed about my expensive body washes. It reminded me of the Bounty commercial where the boy accidently sprayed his Mother and she retaliated by spraying him back and then cleaning it up with Bounty. Ater a little bit we all had a good laugh and they said "Grandma we won't do it again."
Rachel W. Nov 7, 2009, 9:31pm EST
My three year old says really funny things all the time. She talks like an adult. the other day she threw a horrible temper tantrum. Later that night she looked at me as serious as can be and says "Hey Mom? I'm really sorry for my attitude earlier. I love you." and then hugged me and says "Now can I have candy?"
Patti M. Nov 7, 2009, 10:20pm EST
My husband had to make a business trip to New Jersey. He had been there twice before. The company needed him to save money whereever possible. He ended up flying into NY. He thought he could grab a bite to eat at the airport so he would be driving after rush hour. That was his first mistake. The trip went down hill from there. He thinks he is going the right direction until he realizes the building are getting bigger not smaller.
He ended up calling our friend in MI and she became his live GPS. They did this over the cell phone which is illegal.
He did finally make it but we had to laugh after the fact.
Jan S. Nov 7, 2009, 11:58pm EST
My husband and I share a passion for a certain kind of breakfast food. We like it so much, that when we're down to the last one, things get rather tense.

Today, the paper displayed an awesome sale on this product. My husband offered to drive to the store to buy some, so I encouraged him to stock up. He grinned at me and asked "Should I take the trailer?" It is a 6 x9 foot utility trailer. Smart Alec!

Gotta love living with a man with a sense of humor.
Christine Zibas Nov 8, 2009, 1:32am EST
One of my favorite stories is from college. There were 4 girls living in a house off campus, and one of them was stumped during a storm when all the electricity went out, and she couldn't get anything to turn on. "Well, how come the pilot lights on the stove are still on?" Now that's called cooking with gas.
Chris P. Nov 8, 2009, 11:07pm EST
Not an everyday situation, but Bill is also a very nice guy. A few years ago I sent him an invitation to some site by accident (the site trolled my address book), and he sent me a reply expressing his regret that he didn't join sites like that. I wrote back explaining what happened, and how much joy he has brought me over the years... and ended it with "is this really you?" I was amazed that someone of his stature made the time to answer random email. He wrote back assuring me that it was indeed him, and thanking me for my email. What a guy!
The other morning, Nick and I were waiting in line at a store, and the guy ahead of us looked almost exactly like one of Nick's friends from up north. Same hair cut, same coloring, same manerisms... it was uncanny, and for some reason, I could not stop giggling every time he turned towards us, it was just uncanny!
Shannon W Nov 9, 2009, 12:40pm EST
This is an embarrassing one for me but the kids thought it was funny.

I have three boys and never did I realize how much boys thought passing gas was funny until I had three. In fact sometimes it gets so annoying here if they pass gas and they giggle all the time about it. We'll say to leave the room if possible if you have to pass gas or we'll just let it slide and ignore it. Well one day I couldn't ignore it. Sometimes when we're doing stuff around the house, we'll sing in a sing song tone of voice. I was getting my middle son ready for the shower and we were goofing around when suddenly I sing "Wait, Wait. What do you heeaarrrr?" and then (I can't believe I"m actually putting this on gather, now I know I'm crazy) I umm..."delicately" passed gas. Well it got beyond the reaction I thought it would have. My middle son cracked up so much that he rolled around on the floor laughing and when my oldest son found out exactly what happened he was rolling on the floor too. My middle son kept reenacting that moment throughout his shower and bed time. I had to warn him not to repeat that at school because I'd be so mortified! He said to me "I won't say it but can I think about it in my head?" One moment of something I normally wouldn't do in such a manner is something that they'll never forget lol.
LAURI CRUMLEY COATES Nov 9, 2009, 2:25pm EST
Maybe I have a horrible and dark sense of humor, but we still laugh about this exchange between my husband and myself one day several years ago.....

My Husband: Andy's dog died (Andy is his nephew)
Me: I didn't know he had a dog. How did it happen?
My Husband: It got run over by a car.
Me: That's awful! What was it's name?
My Husband: Pancake
We looked at each other and burst out laughing. I know it's awful, but you have to admit it is pretty funny.
Jen K. Nov 9, 2009, 8:38pm EST
My son was playing and he said "I like this comical" .. I said WHAT? It took me about a good ten minutes before I realized that he meant commercial. I tried to tell him how to say it.. and said it slowly.. so he gets in my face and said "COMICAL" REALLY slow! It was SO CUTE! lol
Dianna Doles-Petry Nov 9, 2009, 9:42pm EST
One of my elderly neighbors answered a knock at her door after being awakened from a nap in the middle of the day. She was wearing only panties and a blouse but apparently thought she was fully dressed. She mistook the stares of the UPS delivery man as a romantic interest in her. (She's 83, he was about 35) When he handed her the small box he was delivering, the lady grabbed his arm and pulled him forward to put a lip lock on him that turned his legs to Jello. He was afraid to struggle too much and if I hadn't been there he might still be there tonight! Now if he has anything to deliver to her house he either brings it here or leaves it at her front gate.
Nurse Nancy S. Nov 10, 2009, 3:48am EST
When I was pregnant with my second child, my eldest and I were reading a book called "A Child Is Born." There are pictures of the fetus' feet and legs dangling in the amniotic fluid. My daughter asked me "Is that water?" I told her that it was a special kind of water and she then asked..."Any sharks in that water?" I about died laughing!!
Loren B. Nov 10, 2009, 6:51pm EST
BIll is Hilarious.
Patricia G. Nov 11, 2009, 12:16am EST
I went to buy Up! today (great movie, by the way), and the woman in front of me in the checkout line had a large microwavable popcorn bucket in her hand. When the cashier got to her, she held it up with a confused expression and asked, "Do these have to be heated?"

I thought the cashier was going to lose it right in front of her--all he could do was smile and nod. The woman didn't buy the popcorn and walked away like she was disappointed. The cashier waited until she was a polite distance away before he laughed, and I asked him how many times a day stuff like that happens. He just shook his head and sighed. I know I would've been too tempted to say "Nope, you just shake it really hard and it pops by friction. Here's your sign."
sharon g. Nov 11, 2009, 10:01am EST
this would be a great win as the deadline is my birthday! Our family loves bill and have even gone to one of his shows. My 6 year old granddaughter makes me laugh the most.
She has always said "me" instead of "I" and we have been teaching her to use the proper word. This is the exchange between her and my daughter that makes me laugh the most.
granddaughter - Me like this show
daughter - "I" like this show
granddaughter (saying back to her mother) oh Me too!

it has kept us laughing now for a year!
Sharon W. Nov 11, 2009, 6:56pm EST
I love Bill! He is one funny man! When my now grown son was around eight/ten yrs old, he went around saying "BILL" "BILL" and he would say it in a high pitched voice as funny as he could make it! We got a kick out of it! I guess you had to be there?
Karen M. Nov 11, 2009, 7:53pm EST
So many things make me laugh, but one of the more recent was when my mom kept noticing her brand new dog bones were coming up missing. One night she noticed at my brother's house that there was a stack of her dog bones under one of the kid's beds. She questioned them as to why...and my niece told her, "I saw on television that it was time to start stocking up for winter and noticed nobody was stocking up for my dog, so I started to..." My niece is six....and this struck me as funny..that she would take from my mom's dog to stock up for hers...
Benita Glickman Nov 11, 2009, 8:14pm EST
I recently tried a new taste sensation, and thought it was terrible. Turning to my friend, I said, "Taste this, it's awful." She looked me right in the eyes and said, If it's awful, why would you want me to taste it?" I laughed so hard. She was certainly right. Why would I?


bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com
Carrie Marie P. Nov 11, 2009, 9:12pm EST
I know, right?!
Carrie Marie P. Nov 11, 2009, 9:13pm EST
Today, my daughter and I were making Turkeys when she asked me about soon Christmas was. I told her it was about six weeks away.
Then, she started going a bit bonkers at the table and I reminded her, 'Santa is watching you. Remember he keeps a list of all the nice and naughty kids.'
She said, 'Naw.... Santa is at the mall. He can't see me here.'
I then replied, 'But, he has ears everywhere.'
So, Katie then says, 'Wow! He must use A LOT of q-tips, huh?'
Now, keep in mind she is only four years old.... all I could do was laugh.
Gary (The Eclectic) Timothy Nov 11, 2009, 11:14pm EST
My ex-wife had a thing for the word thing. For example, we'd both be in the kitchen with our backs to each other and she would say "Honey, can you hand me that thing." Being just a silly old man without the talent to receive telepathy accurately, I would often reply with "Um,... exactly what THING would that be, my love?"

We ultimately divorced and began doing our own things because we just couldn't get our THINGS straight together. Naaa, just kidding! Marriage just wasn't our thing.
amanda hardesty Nov 12, 2009, 4:01am EST
The funniest thing lately was my 3 year old daughter .She was playing the Mario mini game..loves you /loves you not with the flower petals on Nintendo Ds She came into the room as she was playing,finished and it said..loves you not..she turned to my husband and said..Sorry Brad, mommy loves you not.She played again and it saud Loves you ..again she turned to him and said ..but she loves me.We both just laughed at her relating it to herself only when it was the result she wanted.
Ashley B. Nov 12, 2009, 5:51am EST
A person I work with just bought a house in the country after living in the city all of his life. So everyday is comical when he tells stories. I just can't seem to pick one story to single out. They are all funny.
Cyndi B. Nov 12, 2009, 8:48am EST
My son, who had just turned 2, was doing a modeling shoot for Little Tykes. He was supposed to hold a pretend fire hose and act like he was spraying water. He was getting really overwhelmed by all of the people around (photographer, photographer's assistants, the lady who was getting him in the right poses, etc) so finally he just said "I'm done.". Everyone looked shocked and turned to me - they were like "What did he just say?"...and he answered -"I'm done now!". LOL We all cracked up! He did finish the photo shoot and he did get some good shots, but it was really funny!
My daughter was playing catch with my girlfriend's son in the yard and she through the ball to the side. It bounced off the shed's wall and hit me in the head and startled me out of my chair. Now I can laugh about it but at the time it wasn't so funny lol
David C. Nov 12, 2009, 6:32pm EST
I held the elevator open for someone I saw coming. This person asked me if the elevator was going up. We were on the ground floor.

By the way, I answered, "I certainly hope so".
Lindsey Davis Nov 12, 2009, 9:47pm EST
I think Everyday with my sister for me is comical. She's funny in a very hap-hazardous kind of way. Just the other night we were at a movie and she stood up to go to the bathroom during the show...forgetting which cinema we were in she turned the wrong way to get to the isle and walked into a wall. It was very funny...for me anyway.
Ghostly Ghoul Nov 13, 2009, 10:48am EST
We've been going to church lately, and my daughter kept calling Pastor "Dude". So one day we sat down and I explained you call him Pastor. Well that night in the car on the way to church she said "We are going to see Ring Master right?" we cracked up!
Sharon R. Nov 13, 2009, 4:04pm EST
A couple years ago I got my, then, 13 year old grandson a BB gun. His younger step sibling had received one the year before. They were at a house the parents were remodeling the day I gave my grandson his BB gun. The younger one didn't have his there... but he decided they were going deer hunting... Larry could stun the deer with the BB gun and then he, Aaron, could beat it with a stick.
Aaron also thinks grandma can do anything (I have him convinced I change in a phone booth into BlueFox, my online alter ego)... his father recently went into the hospital, their van broke down on the way when my daughter was on her way to the hospital. When she finally got to the hospital, Aaron's dad's comment was 'call your mother, she can do anything."
karen h. Nov 14, 2009, 7:55am EST
ok here is a great one, Recently my aunt who is in her 70's had decided to date a gentleman she met at Bingo we were all sitting at a church dinner and my aunt had a spot on her back that needed scratched so her friend scratched her back and wasn't quite hitting the itchy spot so my aunt not thinking blurts out Raymond you need to go down on me !!! needless to say she didn't realize what she had said as all of us including the pastor roared with laughter
karen h. Nov 14, 2009, 12:50pm EST
Here are just a few more true life funnies

I used to work at a cave here in Missouri as a tourist guide as you first enter the cave you are required to tell the guest , If you have any questions while on the tour please feel free to ask , well here are some actual questions I was ask now keep in mind we are in a cave we are crossing an area called mirror river and some one ask is that real water ? umm as bill would say here's your sign
another one was how much does the ground above us weigh ? and my personal favorite was when we climbed the stairs to what is know as the wine room some one in the group would always ask are we still under ground well duh!! do you see the sky
karen h. Nov 14, 2009, 12:56pm EST
and another work place funny!!
when I worked at a convince store I was running the register it was a busy time of the day the store was full of people and there was a line of people paying for their items about mid way through the line this young lady finally makes her way to the register I greeted her and ask how may I help you ? and in a loud but very sweet voice she announces
I HAVE GAS !!!! The entire line roared from then on every time she came to the C store she said i have fuel
Jennifer G. Nov 15, 2009, 11:58pm EST
My family loves Bill Engvall!

I think the most recent funny moment that happened to me, was just a part of my own stupidity. I was on the phone with my mother, and was talking to her, carrying on conversation... and all of a sudden, I just put my arm down. With the phone still in it.
For some reason, it had escaped me that I was talking INTO the phone, not just to a person in front of me! I just kept talking and didn't even notice until I heard a small voice coming from my phone "Um... Jenni???"

I tend to do very ditzy things on an everyday basis, though!
Steph-in-NE ..... Nov 16, 2009, 9:49pm EST
I think the funniest of many is when my aunt ask me to sign some papers( she is charge of my mom estate), I live in the country and her in the big city, I ask her where does she want me to go sign the papers.. her answer was on the bottom of the pages,,where it ask for my signiture.. I was meaning where does she want me to go get them sign,, LOL
Nurse Nancy S. Nov 18, 2009, 6:12am EST
Short and sweet...

My 7 year old grandson asked his mom "When will I get my first chest hair?"
Marina Payne Nov 19, 2009, 2:06am EST
Our cats, and my lovers guitar case- a love affair!
Almost nightly at least one cat will be rubbing, chewing, and adoring his hard leather guitar case. It started with our red tabby, and has grown from there- the cat is random, as we have four- but always priceless!
Marina Payne Nov 19, 2009, 2:07am EST
Our red tabby, adoring my lovers guitar playing, as a kitten tried to *climb into* the guitar! Hilarious! Adorable! A bit worrisome too.
Marina Payne Nov 19, 2009, 2:10am EST
The other day, at a wilderness conference- a gathering of people- A Representative of the Native American Nations was speaking, and they told him it was time to wrap up his speech. He, while being polite, made very clear that he had waited "400 years for this microphone" and was going to finish.
That was a singular priceless moment!
Letessha W. Nov 19, 2009, 7:07pm EST
My teen son likes to "test" sweets and goodies to"make sure it's not poisonous"
Lillian L. Nov 20, 2009, 3:14am EST
Once after I had searched and searched for a parking place, I finally got one right next to a forklift with its engine running. My friends and I hopped out of the car, locked it, and than ran into a store to buy decorations for the office. When we came out, I was digging in my purse for my keys and couldn't find them. My friends had walked ahead, heard my car running, and thought someone had hotwired it. It turns out, I had locked my keys in the car, with the engine running--none of us had realized it because of the sound of the forklift's engine. About that time someone came out from an adjacent office with a hanger to help me unlock the car (an older model with the old style of locks). I was never good at using a hanger, but since it was a busy parking lot, another car had stopped waiting for out parking place. I went up to the driver with the hanger in my hand and said he was was welcome to the parking space if he could get my car unlocked. Fortunately, he was an expert at using a hanger to unlock cars, so we were quickly on our way. My friends and I were giggling about the incident, which we had not shared with the curmudgeons in our office. We think they thought we had gone out to "drink" our lunches instead of eating them.
David K. Nov 20, 2009, 9:27am EST
I still say "Here's Your Sign" every day. (Is that pathetic or what?) :)