by Angela A.
Member since:
February 19, 2008

Revenge (Genre Shorties week 14 Prompt: Western)

November 05, 2009 08:13 PM EST
views: 210 | comments: 52


With shaking hands, Rodney loaded the bullet in the chamber. He scuffed his boots on the dusty road, and spat on the ground. His head rose slowly, he grimaced as his rival finished loading his own weapon.

They paced back a few steps, turning away.

A few moments later, shots rang out.

Rodney blew on the smoking gun.

Another man dead. Another lonely road.

He nodded to the sheriff, the body dragged away.

This would be the last time, he swore.

The fourth relative in the Parsons clan, that killed his Pa had been eradicated.

95 words





link to this page
Bookmark this post:
Facebook
Twitter
Delicious
Buzz
More

Comments: 52

Guy W. Nov 5, 2009, 8:22pm EST
One round. . . my kinda man.
Angela A. Nov 5, 2009, 11:10pm EST
Thanks!
Kay M. Nov 5, 2009, 8:36pm EST
He got 'em all. Great write
Angela A. Nov 5, 2009, 11:10pm EST
Yep, he sure did. He's great.
Kushal Poddar Nov 5, 2009, 8:46pm EST
Wow. Very vivid visual.

nightwalk for weak love
Angela A. Nov 5, 2009, 11:10pm EST
Thanks Poddar, that's what I was looking for.
Kathryn E. Nov 5, 2009, 9:21pm EST
oh oh

Featured in the Triple Name Club.
Angela A. Nov 5, 2009, 11:10pm EST
Thanks for the feature friend.
david f. Nov 5, 2009, 10:10pm EST
another lonely road - just beautiful. love it!
Angela A. Nov 5, 2009, 11:11pm EST
Thanks David. Revenge takes its toll.
Ruthi C. Nov 5, 2009, 10:36pm EST
Good for Rodney...good Western shortie Angela!
Angela A. Nov 5, 2009, 11:11pm EST
Thanks Ruthi.
d d. Nov 6, 2009, 8:30am EST
Great story Angela. glad he got his day in court!
Angela A. Nov 6, 2009, 3:15pm EST
Yep, the court of gun fighting!
A. F. Stewart Nov 6, 2009, 10:55am EST
The western loner out for revenge, great story.
Angela A. Nov 6, 2009, 3:15pm EST
Thanks, hon.
Liz H. Nov 6, 2009, 11:18am EST
Sounds like those Parsons were rascals--the sheriff let Rodney finish his job. Wonder if he goes peacefully off to jail afterwords (With shaking hands, Rodney loaded the bullet in the chamber). Not a man accustomed to violence?
Angela A. Nov 6, 2009, 3:16pm EST
Yep, those Parsons were nasty characters.
His hands shook because he was tired of the violence and it signified his last hurrah.
Tracy Fabre Nov 6, 2009, 3:15pm EST
"He's dead, Jim..."
Angela A. Nov 6, 2009, 3:16pm EST
But, I'm not a barber..
I'm a docta! Te he!
Kerrell g. Nov 6, 2009, 3:20pm EST
Tracy's been watching too much Star Trek!
Angela A. Nov 7, 2009, 12:10pm EST
Te he!
Marilyn M. Nov 7, 2009, 6:17am EST
Rich with detail and a great read, Angela! Nicely done. =)
Angela A. Nov 7, 2009, 12:11pm EST
Thanks much Marilyn.
awesome story!
Angela A. Nov 7, 2009, 12:11pm EST
Thank ye Purr, that means a lot.
Thanks for posting to GutterGirls~
Angela A. Nov 7, 2009, 12:11pm EST
Welcome.
amy s. Nov 7, 2009, 11:26am EST
that is awesome western story
Angela A. Nov 7, 2009, 12:11pm EST
Thanks, Amy, I try to branch out every once in a while.
Well, you sure branched out in this one, Angela. What a purely visual writing piece you just did. This could be a new genre for you. You've done an excellent write with less than 100 words.

Marilyn
Angela A. Nov 10, 2009, 8:21pm EST
Thanks, Marilyn, I always love to try new things.
Terry M. Nov 7, 2009, 10:29pm EST
Oh My! This was tagic but a sensational write!
Angela A. Nov 10, 2009, 8:21pm EST
Thanks Terry.
Sheila Deeth Nov 10, 2009, 12:15am EST
Nice one Angela.
Angela A. Nov 10, 2009, 8:21pm EST
Thanks, you're nice.
lynn a. Nov 10, 2009, 12:25am EST
Excellent. I could actually see this scene being part of a Western movie.
Angela A. Nov 10, 2009, 8:22pm EST
Thanks, Lynn!
William Dotani Nov 11, 2009, 9:00am EST
I guess the church needed a new Parson.
Angela A. Nov 12, 2009, 2:36pm EST
Ba dum bum!
Robert - just a simple man - B. Nov 12, 2009, 7:10pm EST
"Another man dead. Another lonely road"

I like the use of these two phrases as stand-alone thoughts. Good job. Great job actually but I am a purist, I would have found five more words to make it 100.
Angela A. Nov 14, 2009, 3:48pm EST
Thanks Robert, it's good to see you here. I knew you couldn't pass up a western.
Love from Darlene! Nov 13, 2009, 3:12pm EST
I liked what I read, short, descriptive and one man standing!
Angela A. Nov 14, 2009, 3:48pm EST
Yep, the right one.
Connie C. Nov 13, 2009, 8:49pm EST
That was so cool. Well written
Angela A. Nov 14, 2009, 3:48pm EST
Thank you Connie.
Stacey (Jesus is coming soon! ) U. Nov 14, 2009, 11:03pm EST
Thank you, your comments on my posts are greatly appreciated (sorry this is generic, I have to catch up on quite a bit !)
Angela A. Nov 17, 2009, 5:33pm EST
Oh, you're welcome hon.
Anna D. Nov 18, 2009, 7:36am EST
Great job. Funny my husband is a cowboy and knows well how to use a gun... his name is Rodney. Love my cowboy. lol
Anna del C.
Author of "The Silent Warrior Trilogy"
http://www.annadelc.com
Angela A. Nov 18, 2009, 10:58pm EST
Oh wow, life imitating art, huh? Te he!
barb n. Dec 8, 2009, 3:05pm EST
Hey! I really like the western theme here and of course the good guy won~~~~you know how much I love happy endings and this is no different, great story!!!!!
Angela A. Dec 22, 2009, 12:45am EST
Thanks Barb!!!
Yeah for happy endings!

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Make New Friends | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Health | Moms | Money | News | Politics | Spirituality | Sports | Travel | Writing
Version 16961, "Pacino"; Copyright © 2009 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.