"goddess gives me strength" (Music song memory #3)

"What memory is evoked when having heard this song the first time, recently or whenever . . . ?"

"Mine is this--There had been so many days of rain in these last few weeks of early June, that we figured mushroom collecting in August would be disastrous, and it was. The 'landslides' that occurred took out my grandmother and I's favorite hill and valley where pine tree sap and perfect needle bases nurtured the very finest plumpest mushrooms. But it was gone and this summer a lot of great things were going away, little by little like the erosion of water to dirt as in a 'landslide'.

I was already taken in by Stevies voice, it soothed, mesmerized and created a stir of 'living on the edge' excitement. I listened to her music for a variety of reasons. It had a training behind the songs she sang with a passion, 'landslide' is one which stirs a memory of everything good being ripped away in one last summer before my best friend, my grandmother was taken to another realm. Before her death in 1981, we spent numerous summers embracing getting in touch with our senses. She engaged in experiments for the soul, mushroom-collecting was a bonding instrument she used to talk with me, teach me and share her respect for what God put for her to make the most with.

I refer to the biblically-referenced God as goddess or even creator which may offend some but so be it; however, I never made a big revelation to my grandparents about my perspective on their understanding of a "God". This might be because of respect for them exclusively OR a divine intervention, chances are it is a combination of both but song brought me to this conclusion not a religious paradigm. As my grandmothers health and energy began to decline and we spent less time running the Catskill mountains in our sneakers, I found sitting with her and holding her hand awesome.

It was as if what the landslide news of her ill-health meant to me and hit me hard that year, the rebuilding of our next relationship with other songs before her death could and does place this one in the 'growth series'. To build your life around someone that loved you so well and so genuinely is the one that will love you for eternity and even though the landslide destroyed the material things grandma and I enjoyed, the spiritual foundation has sustained erosive material and thrived.

I feel her guiding me and letting me know which 'mushrooms' in the sap-saturated market to pick up and consume for the love of nature and that whom created it. . . till next time grandma, I love you for always being in my corner and accepting me for what I thought up into becoming and still growing strong.

Artist: Fleetwood Mac

Song: Landslide

Album: Fleetwood Mac (Deluxe Edition)

Year: 1975

LOCATION: tbc, our bungalow , Ellenville, Ulster Hts NY

YEAR: 1979