Halloween Fallout: The Candy Carnage

It started with a miniature Mr. Goodbar on Halloween night.

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Jennifer Ginsberg: I mean, Mr. Goodbar is a nostalgic candy -- it reminds me of my childhood (circa 1983), walking down to 7-11 with my brother Jeff on warm summer nights. How could I resist perfectly roasted peanuts in creamy Hershey's milk chocolate?

Then I moved on to the cute little Krackel in the shiny red wrapper. How many calories can a few of those tiny bars have, right?

Then I tore through the Fun Size Kit Kats, Sour Apple Nerds, and Lemonheads. I love, love, love Lemonheads. Oh yes ... how could I forget about the Hershey's Special Dark, Almond Joy, 3 Musketeers, and Milky Way bars I inhaled in under 30 seconds flat?

No, I am not a stoner (anymore) -- though if I was, at least I would have a good excuse. I am an out-of-control mommy who has ransacked my 4-year-old son's trick-or-treat bag.

After Halloween night, I allow him to have one candy a day, because I want him to be disciplined and learn self-control. I also don't want him to eat tons of refined sugar and rot his teeth out. OK ... enough sanctimonious bullsh*t. I enforce this rule so there is MORE FOR ME!

This is a blatant case of "Do as I say, not as I do," because after he begrudgingly selects his one meager treat, I sneak off to my room, hide in a corner, tear through the bag, and furiously rip open the wrappers with my teeth like a wild animal. I pray that no one walks in on the sugar orgy I am indulging in.

This. Has. Got. To. Stop.

As I write this, I am trying to ignore the pile of wrappers beside me. Reese's F*cking Peanut Butter Cups. Peanut butter is the other man in my life. And who the hell am I to deny that chocolate and peanut butter are two great tastes that taste great together? I will not admit how many I've devoured today because then I would have to face the fact that in the span of five minutes, I consumed my recommended daily allowance of fat grams for the month.

Why is it that the rest of the year I am barely tempted when I walk down the candy aisle, but come Halloween, those Fun Size candies seduce me to the point of reckless abandon? How can I be such a hypocrite by allowing my son only one candy per day while I am consuming my body weight in fat and sugar?

The good news -- there are only a few desperate Now and Laters and Tootsie Rolls left. 
Even I, an official Candy Whore, have standards. And I am not yet desperate enough to resort to Tootsie Rolls.

I am seriously considering a Master Cleanse, starting tomorrow! But for now, I could have sworn there was a Mounds bar in the bottom of that bag!

Jennifer Ginsberg is a Los Angeles mother, writer, and addiction specialist with over 15 years of experience in the fields of alcoholism, addiction, and recovery. After receiving her MSW from the USC School Of Social Work and MAJCS from Hebrew Union College, Jennifer served as the clinical director of a 120 bed drug and alcohol treatment facility. She also co-developed an addiction prevention program for Jewish youth, which has been implemented in synagogues nationally. Jennifer now works privately with people who are impacted by the devastating effects of drugs and alcohol and writes about all topics related to motherhood, addiction, and women in politics. Read more about her life at angstmom.com