Daily freewrite - Nov4 - Hubbies..

I think you understand perfectly. Your idea of what it is to be a couple is exactly correct. You are in life together so whatever each of you do to benefit your lives together will benefit both of you, not just one.
When you marry you are yoked in love and committment. Its like walking down a road, hand in hand, if one decides to go in another direction he/she will impact the other because his /her partner will go along in compromise, decide he/she doesn't wish to go in that direction, which is another compromise, but now from the other partner. Compromise within the marriage relationship is not "giving in" in a negative way it is giving and receiving together in love. A marriage cannot last if both partners are not on the same page and do not remain aware of what each other is about. The latter builds trust, a couple respects each other even though they disagree, the agree to disagree. That is the togetherness that brings the needed trust.
Your friend may not realize it but they are showing great disrespect for their partners and I'm very sure if their husbands spoke to others about them, the women would be very upset.
I hope you keep your very mature outlook because your insight into the situation you witnessed is very true.

Ditto, Barbara.

Rachel, interesting freewrite. You mused over a question and considered it from other angles.

As to the content, I'll defer giving my opinion. But I'm curious. What is your ethnicity? I don't know anyone under the age of forty who uses the term "housewife" in the United States except evangelical Christians. Just curious how you chose that term.

I'm filipino.. my mother is a "housewife" and that's the only term I know to use.. I guess "stay-at-home-mom" would suffice.. but that's the former is the term I heard a lot growing up..

When you are married you will understand more I think.

Sometimes when woman from venus talk they can find out how other woman deal with the men from mars. There is a lot our mothers didn't tell us. Men like to fix things, so if you go tell them your feelings, they will tell you how to "fix" it. And if you don't follow their advice they get angry. A good friend to talk to is great, most men don't want to spend the time listening to their wives...

As far as complaining goes, men complain about their wives too. It would be a great world if people didn't complain about each other but they do. When I hear complaints from my friends, I try to give some how in how to look at it in a different perspective. Sometimes there are no hidden meanings behind things like some women think. Men just think differently than women. Men are not women. Men don't think about feelings a lot of the time, unless it's their own. Men don't like to talk about feelings either.

Heather, you make some pretty broad generalizations here. I'm married to a man who does listen to my thoughts and feelings. In fact, he's much more able to name his various feelings than I am. When asked, "How do you feel about that?" I usually respond, "I dunno." And I really don't know.

That's why I write. I write to know and understand myself.

I think marriage is like any other unknown situation. We can think about it, plan or dream about what we'll do when we're there, but we can never know for sure until we're in the situation.

Excellent freewrite. As Susan said, you had it well organized.

I think men should do their share, even IF they work, because, let me tell you, as a married stay-at-home-mom of 3 (and not a *housewife* but a homemaker) i can tell you that being a mom is a 24 hour a day job. You don't get sick days, or time off. You have to work in the middle of the night a lot when the kids are sick or you have a new baby. And when the husband gets sick and stays home you have even more people to clean up after and take care of. So, a man get to go to work for 8 or 10 hours a day, then comes home to... sit on his butt? No, thank you. Not when i did my job for all the time he was gone, and then have to keep at it once he's home.

It's not as black and white as you might think. If you ever end up in the shoes of your friends shoes, you may find the differences for yourself.