State Fair Cooking Finalists

Last Summer at the State fair I heard the exploits of some of our Gather friends recipe warfare. It was brutal. I’ll not pretend there wasn’t any sin, but indigestion set in, so no one was quite sure what was or wasn‘t a cooking odor. Luckily, a recipe decoder told us what smells were sour or sweet, but of the one hundred and three recipe entered by Cristina and Mariana T, not one was Chinese or from the Mayflower. Mariana, always thinking of the need to drink Lake Michigan water, had only super hot sizzling Cajun food that contained no raisins. She claims this diet food because the after effects could feel like hemorrhoids got seasoned..

Cristina had French and German recipes translated into one of Curt’s botanical poems about a gray goose. This obviously is a metaphor as the cooking rules were rather loose. Although few understood, her food looked good, except for one dish, which had people talking about location. It was a creative dish called ’Frog Biology,’ She displayed on a plate two frog legs sticking out of a escargot shell half way. Of course PETA was called in, so clever Cristina quickly changed the title to ’Froggy Went A Courtin’,’ and everyone said, ’How cute,’ but no one dug in.

While all the media blitz focused on cooking stars Cristina and Mariana T, another luminary burst on the scene, with an entourage of male dancers, from a passing ballet who wanted free cantaloupe samples. Marianne M, Cantaloupe Cuisine Queen, has perfected the cantaloupe into artistic recipes,  some even with ice cream that‘s green. When she invented her first cantaloupe dish in the 70’s, she served it with a Pet Rock and became an overnight necessity on the talk radio scene, where sometimes she would sing, but not in the shower. You might have heard of this and saw her pet flower. Some think she should be on a box of Wheaties: Of accolades she has plenty.  Pet Rock Cantaloupe Sundae was named recipe of the year in the Home Economics section of the high school yearbook. Now, when Peter Joseph Swanson gives a tour to anyone having a camera and a copy of his book, he takes them Marianne’s house where he signs his book because she has nice patio furniture. Everyone says that and bird is the word.. Marianne stands by the window and waves except when she’s in the shower. She sings to people walking by. That’s kind power.

There‘s always an exception to the rule, if you consider how in the world the recipes offered by a duo, got finalist consideration. I don’t know if it was a collaboration, but there was a lot of caramel mixed with chocolate and ants involved. So, maybe a judge had a libation from dandelion wine in a convenient jug. Some feared this the work of the Dandelion Gang, Inc, New York address, but that was an investigation yet to come as second guessed. So Sheila & Wilma wearing pants, put on music and asked people to dance as they passed out caramel with chocolate centers covered ants and everyone who took a bite said, ‘Crunchy’ before they gasped.