by Sheila Deeth
Member since:
February 1, 2007

Outlaw's Lament - Genre Shorties

November 05, 2009 12:53 AM EST
views: 40 | comments: 16

“Four strong winds that blow lonely.” He’d tasted them all, sand and salt, with dry mineral sting. But the fire in his eyes burned for things he had done and “The good times are all gone.”

 

“One day they’ll sing.” He dropped his guitar, took the gun hanging low on his hip, weighing steady like music and strong like chords of a song.

 

“One day.” And the wind-devils floated like nymphs to his end. Beating hooves of the sheriff’s fine steed were his drums and the sun lent a singer.

 

Now he’s bending the trigger and bound for moving on.

 

Written for Genre Shorties Week 14



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Comments: 16

Kay M. Nov 5, 2009, 1:01am EST
So beautifully written Sheila. You are a drabble queen.
Tracy Fabre Nov 7, 2009, 3:55pm EST
I believe that sums it up.
William Dotani Nov 5, 2009, 1:17am EST
You start with pure poety and then airily let you story come floating at us languidly and then the last sentence brings us back to bite the bullet. Your syntax is lovely.
Beautifully written Sheila. And 'Four Strong Winds' is one of my favourite songs also,
d d. Nov 5, 2009, 6:58am EST
I loved that whole first stanza. very visual and used so many of my senses.
Kushal Poddar Nov 5, 2009, 7:25am EST
It is surreal, poetic.
JOHN BECK Nov 5, 2009, 7:42am EST
All the senses are there, vividly. This amazingly transports the reader in a few words.
Sandi S. Nov 5, 2009, 7:45am EST
Oh, this is wonderful! I LOVE how the senses appear.

Bravo!
A. F. Stewart Nov 5, 2009, 9:39am EST
A scene right out of an old movie; I can see him riding away against the fading sunset.
sheila h. Nov 5, 2009, 12:36pm EST
Good one! Reads like poetry,Sheila..
Liz H. Nov 5, 2009, 1:58pm EST
Beautiful word-painting, Sheila. Things seen and implied--well done!
Angel sent from God Secret Sisters Nov 5, 2009, 2:44pm EST
Great job, loved it...
Marge H. Nov 5, 2009, 4:03pm EST
Amazing writing! Never doubt that you have a unique and impressive talent.
Angela A. Nov 5, 2009, 5:47pm EST
Wow, just cool!


MySpace Comments

Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
Tracy Fabre Nov 7, 2009, 3:55pm EST
Vivid, visual, very well done.
Elsie Duggan Nov 10, 2009, 12:49am EST
Sheila, this is wonderful, you sure have a gift of talent in writing, and I know soon you will be published,

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