Many of you never heard of Rob Appell........
.....yet, some of you knew him here at Gather.
Lynda F. has posted an article, announcing that Rob recently passed away.
www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977885349
To find out more, you can also check out a post written by Rob's friend Scott L., titled "Everything Happens For A Reason."
www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977885874
For what I knew of Rob, I liked him.......
I liked him a lot.
To me, his attitude and outlook were both absolutely incredible.
Rob suffered from several painful and debilitating ailments. And certainly not least of all was the loss of one of his legs.
Yet, Rob "took it all in stride," as they say......
In his own words:
"Over the course of the past year, I've faced many questions I never dreamed I'd have asked of me; not only by little ones, but by adults alike. With a prosthetic leg now, I no longer am asked the question that was on everyone's mind. It's not as obvious anymore. 'What happened to your leg?'...or...'Where did your leg go?' Depending on who is inquiring determines the answer I give. I don't go into a long, drawn out reply; one of the few times I keep things short and to the point. Could you ever imagine someone as long-winded as I am would keep a response to the bare minimum? I don't get into all the details; just a few facts in words people can understand, especially with youngsters. My explaination...I had a boo boo and nobody kissed it to make it better. That's why you should always tell your mommy when you have an owie. Give it to them in terms they can comprehend."
www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977661146
In another article, Rob explained a little of what he went through when he lost his leg, and how it all made him feel:
"I had to make a conscious decision to voluntarily give up my leg and face life without it...if I wanted to save my life to be able to experience what it would be like to have only one leg. Some choice. I told them to make sure the chainsaws had enough gas before they started their work. I didn't want one of them conking out before they made a clean slice. Some really, really, really good drugs made it easier to accept when I came to and lifted the sheet to see it was a reality I now had to face. And away we go...
Here I'm trying my hardest to get on with life, when shouldn't I be wallowing in sorrow over what happened? No time...things to do. When I get a break. I'm missing a leg now and I'm going on the best I can like there's no difference. I can't slow down. I'll get nowhere doing that. My replacement leg comes along and I've got too much I want to do; leaving everyone in the dust. Their pace can't meet my expectations, so I go on ahead alone. Instead of leaving a void, this has created an energy that was never there before and can't seem to be satisfied now. I have to go and keep the movement forward. I may be missing a limb, but I'm not missing out on the ability to walk. I came out with more from ending up with less."
www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977650036
I would also strongly urge everyone to read Rob's article, "Bittersweet Memories Of My Year Past," in which he describes all that he went through when he was faced with the terrible reality that he would soon lose his leg and be crippled for life:
www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977618200
As a matter of fact, I think everyone should take the time to go through all of Rob's past articles and read the ones that they find interesting, before Gather deletes his posts and his words are gone forever.
Rob's Post Page:
www.gather.com/viewPostsByMember.action?memberId=57586&num=20¤tPage=1&start=0
Rob's Photo Page:
www.gather.com/viewOtherPhotosByMember.action?memberId=57586
I am not very good at eulogies........
And nothing that I could write would ever pay proper tribute to Rob Appell or give adequate testimony to his life or to the remarkable individual that he really was........
That is why I am urging you all to read his words.....
.......look at his photos.......
Because, through his words and images he will always remain alive...................
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Comments: 138
Blessings.
Thanks for sharing , OMG
He will be missed.
realize I was on her signon through aol, I feel so stupid.
I did not know Rob I know he will be missed by all of you.
His family will be in my prayers.
Rest in peace Rob.
Berf? that was beautifully done . I'm to shocked to do anything like this. Let's just say for many that only knew him on Gather.... He's the same in person!!! I've known him since 1987 and still can't believe he's gone.
Thanks again Berf
Rob was a shining example of humanity, and Gather's light has dimmed considerably.
I am sorry about his passing.
He was also one of the bravest people I know, having gone through losing his leg because of his diabetes, but refusing to "play the victim" over his disability. He was a great inspiration to me personally, and all who knew him on Gather.
RIP, Rob. I love you, and you will be incredibly missed by me and all your friends on Gather.
I'm still in shock, I will have to come back later, because my eyes are filling up with tears.
Let me stipulate I did not know Rob. I'm sure he was a fine fellow. But I often wonder why people air their troubles in public, if they aren't looking for the support they are confident will follow.
If they need that support, great, talk about it until you've lost your breath. My point is, the stronger person doesn't need the support in the first place, and keeps their mouth shut about their own pain and suffering, rather than forcing their pain onto others.
The truth is, diabetics don't lose their legs unless they neglect themselves and do not follow the prescribed routine designed to prevent such things.
If you will read Scott's article (BERF provided the link) you will see that Rob suffered from depression. I am on disability for depression, and yet I was never able to pick up on Rob's depression. That is because he was so cheerful, encouraging and loving himself. He gave of himself, and from his heart, much more than he ever took in what you think of as pity.
My only regret is that I did not know him longer (it was only about two years) and that I never got to meet him in person.
You're wrong about Rob.
There is nothing wrong in seeking support. Many people need it, but many people do not. The stronger person is stoic, remaining silent on the subject of their own pain and suffering, of course that is my opinion, but it only seems to make sense. If you are seeking support, there is a void within yourself you cannot fill, and you seek others to fill it for you. As I have said, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS. My only point is, the stronger person doesn't need that support and remains silent about their pain.
I didn't know Rob, I stipulated that. What I have said really is not specific to Rob, and applies to all people across the board. I said nothing about Rob specifically, except that which is true generally.
Diabetics don't lose legs overnight, and the process that causes one to lose a leg, is more often than not, one of self neglect. Being a diabetic isn't easy, and following the prescribed routine problematic. This doesn't diminish the personal role played in the loss of the leg. Just ask a diabetic that has all four limbs and they'll tell you just how hard they work every day, every hour to maintain the proper balance. It isn't surprising some people are unable to follow the difficult and time consuming process of maintaining their health.
I don't think you are being un-PC. I don't care for the incessant pity parties that I have seen some from some Gather members, and also on other sites. I do believe that the "pity partiers" do activate and keep active a vibration that brings continued sickness and misfortune befalling them.
I never got that perception about Rob. When he wrote - and ironically he didn't consider himself a good writer, which everyone who knows him will dispute - he told of his story by sharing his heart. There is a HUGE difference between someone who allows himself to be vulnerable to the world, in order to help making the world a better place and a "pity partier" who is always saying, "Poor me, poor me!"
OK, since you are seeming to understand, I will put it in another way. There are people who write for catharsis purposes. I think this is what you are referring to, when people dump their pain on other people. CLEARLY THIS WAS NOT WHAT ROB WAS DOING! Everything I every read of his (and he did some wonderful picture essays, that I did encourage him to send to print publications) was told as an inspiration, a triumph over adversity.
The fact that so many people are so shocked at his depression and not knowing how much he was suffering, is the best evidence of all that he DID NOT DUMP HIS PAIN on other people!
Rob was only 40 years old and much too young to have either lost a leg, or had such brittle diabetes in the first place. If you think that this kind of diabetes is easy to manage, you should have a talk with Mary Tyler Moore.
I'm astounded at your callous attitude that Rob's diabetes was merely a lack of self-care! Unbelievable!
You suggest his writings were gifts to the world, and "told as an inspiration, a triumph over adversity." But if you think about it logically, he apparently was not in triumph over his own adversity and depression is where he found himself, which is why it was difficult to follow the medical regimen required to maintain a balanced, healthy life, which is why which is why, it's an endless cycle of decisions, made willfully, leading to the mental and physical condition of any given person, not just those dealing with life threatening diseases like diabetes.
His medical conditions were not self-induced - they were created by a society in which certain classes of people are just not considered valuable enough to bother caring about.
Although it was not the particular post where I expressed my sympathy, I suggest that anyone who wants to understand Rob's plight read his best friend, Scott's post who knew him better than any here.
I, too, suffer from uncontrollable diabetes - as did my mother. It is like no matter what you do, the disease is going to get you.
My doctor works very closely with me, we monitor my readings weekly, we can not control more than that.
My mother did not have insurance and lost the battle early on.
Rob, also, did not have insurance, or much of anything but his wit. Rob was a special person who brought much to many of us.
Rob and I also both suffer from depression, which makes the battle with diabetes even more of a battle. Believe me there are days that you battle the 'why keep fighting' - but Rob did, and I do.
I know Rob suffered a severe fall at the beginning of this last battle. I know it severely hindered his healing. He would not talk about it, and would not allow his friend Scott to tell us what was going on. He refused to write (the depression at its worst).
Rob will be forever remembered in many of our hearts and souls. Rob was a friend, a listener, a carer. Rob would have never asked for pity. Rob was just Rob - if you did not know him, you cannot know him!
I understand what you are saying about many here on Gather and their 'self imposed pity parties' - most of us pick up on that pretty quick. We know who is doing what to gain more viewings to get more points. Gatherers are not stupid. But believe me, Rob was not on any self imposed, or other, pity party.
Thank You Berf for this wonderful tribute to this wonderful man.
Rob's articles were funny, well written and a pleasure to read. I knew he went into hospital quite a few months ago but never expected to read about his passing. He will be sadly missed.
Sorry, for your Loss.
You will be missed Rob..
Great job.....no need to qualify. Reading this gave me a good "boost" for what I have to do today.........thanks...
Bill
Thanks Berf!
My deepest sympathies.
miss him very much~
Rob was, and always will be one of the gather greats.
He was a truly nice guy, facing life with his trademark humor.
A real inspiration to all. He will be missed.
Tim
I miss Rob so much.
Rest in Peace dear friend... you were loved by many...