Following My Prince on the Moon (Abecedarian Prompt)

love the pix to go with it!!!!

Thanks Pamela...a little bit of my inspiration for the poem.

This is wonderful and a more subtle way to do the abc poem format. I'm impressed with the natural flow.

Thanks granny. I think it still follows the format, from what i read you can also start a stanza with the letter which would be fun to try too but would make for a LONG poem. I would not of structured all the stanza's like this if I had not been trying for the form, but in some cases I think it works quite naturally. I think I like the 2 and 3rd stanza the best they feel the most natural. It gets crazy hard when you get to X and Z.

Hi Ellen, I second Jan's comment. I really like the flow of this. I also respond the way you contrast a mother's caution with a child's boldness:

"daring accuracy, you
expand my
finite and
guarded boundaries."

and also:

"I wear the possibilities, mimicking a
xenolith, embedding them in my skin. With the
yellowing full moon, searching for our
zenith, you carelessly define your places."

I love the use of the word "Xenolith" here indicating a unity but also a separateness.

Yes the form is difficult when you get to "x" and "z" but you have done an excellent job with it. You'd think there would be a limited possibility of poems one could write given the relative number of viable "x" and "z" words. In My next poem will more than likely be forced to exile Xerxes to Zaire.

I agree with Atticus' assessment of your abecedarian, Ellen. Well done.

Atticus:

Mothers caution and child's boldness is definitely key here. I was inspired to this poem by an excursion with my son into the rocks. He is 2 1/2 years old and he ventured behind the house BY HIMSELF. Let me give you some scale, because I am not sure people understand. I live on 21 sections of land (640 acres/section) it is all his and my son knows it, even at 2 years old. He turned to me and said “Mamma, I am going up the hill for a minute”. I was chopping wood and I said “okay son, I will be right there.” By the time I crawled up the hill to the plateau behind my house he was no where to be seen. My heart panicked, he is SO little. Luckily I called and he called back to me “Yes mamma?” He had traversed back and was on the run following the dogs and I realized that he was not concerned in the least, he felt safe. I was stunned at how far and how eager he was to be alone and I was stricken with giving him the freedom to learn and balancing the desire to say "you are too little." He led me to the rocks up the next tier behind our house and then I watched as he bravely scaled many layers and levels of rocks. I never helped him up or down except to verbally tell him that he would have to find a different route. It was a fun evening especially with the full moon on display. Anyways, it made me realize I might have to get one of those embedded GPS chips for him, like they do for dogs! *laughing* JUST KIDDING!!!!

There is an another emotion here in this poem as well, maybe a sadder darker tone not linked to the child at all, which I hope also is portrayed to the reader as well.

I am glad you liked xenolith...I felt like the last paragraph was kind of like grasping for straws. I love the meaning of both xenolith and zenith but using them in a sentence structure was very difficult. The meanings fit perfect with my intent, but the words them self are awkward.

LOL! I almost used Zaire but it just didn’t fit with the intent! I am thinking about writing a children's poem using this format but maybe using one letter per stanza and trying the acrostic version of embedded messages.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John – Thanks for stopping by and reading it. I always enjoy reading your comments that you write on other’s poetry and I have enjoyed reading your words as well.

I thank Granny, Atticus, and John for giving you some great and encouraging feedback on this poem, Ellen. You told the story of your heart as you encounter your son in both time and space. Put this one in his memory box.

Susan - I hope it is worthy of the memory box!

"...your heart as you encounter your son in both time and space" that is a beautiful way to word it. Thank you!

There is a much sadder story underneath it all but the story of the mother/son, queen/prince is absolutely my overriding emotion and intention, and that is the sweetest one of all. Perhaps you are right...this is one for him. Maybe I will dedicate it.

Yes, there is a deeper story here. Someday maybe you'll write about it and share it. hugs

The best Abecedarian I've read since Atticus'. He's a hard act to follow and you did great! I agree with the others about this piece, it flows well.

Thank you Jennifer! I felt like it flowed pretty well too...although I was definitely stretching it on XYZ...but I think it works. It was fun to try...I was surprised I used this topic and the "prince on the moon" for this format, I was kind of saving it but I guess the poem needed to be written.