Member since:
December 29, 2006

Dealing with the Empty Nest

November 04, 2009 03:46 PM EST

views: 154 | comments: 17

The house to myself.

When my kids were little it seemed like a dream that would never come to pass. Reading a book was a luxury that only happened if I could convince, bribe or threaten someone to take them somewhere for an hour or so. Many of the television shows that are in rerun status now, I'm watching for the first time, because they didn't first appear on Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel! Fettuccini Alfredo, Chicken Salad and sautéed zucchini met with turned up noses and the question "Why can't we have hot dogs and macaroni and cheese?" Vacation days from work weren't spent on romantic getaways with my husband, but rather taken to stay home and tend to grouchy, feverish aliens who had invaded my children's bodies with chicken pox, ear infections and broken bones.

When they hit teenage years, I longed for just one night, one afternoon, one hour that I didn't have to be somewhere. Oh to spend a Friday night going to a sit down dinner where the menu wasn't on the wall, and a movie with a leading male character who could drive by himself, shaved every day and whose voice had already changed! Instead, dinner was drive thru at Hardees on the way a ballgame. Our favorite phrase became "Divide and conquer", and I could only pray that I didn't have to ask a grandmother or team mate's mother to take one child while we went in two more directions! My idea of a great date night was when we actually got to go to the same gym and sit together!

We secretly dreamed of all the things we would do together once the children were all grown up and gone. We could read the newspaper without having to figure out what the paragraph said that had been cut out because homecoming pictures were on the opposite page. I could use the telephone and talk to MY friends without call waiting beeping 20 times during a 10 minute conversation and a girlish giggling voice on the other end asking "Is James there?" We could buy junk food without having to hide it in the top of our bedroom closet. I wouldn't have to ask "Which one of you borrowed my black tank top and didn't put it back in my drawer?" We could watch a 10 hour marathon of Bonanza and not have to explain that the reason Little Joe sounded like Pa Ingalls was because they were the same actor! If I wanted to stay in my pajama pants all day long, I wouldn't have to worry about whether half the basketball team was hanging out in my living room.

I had to laugh recently at a friend who sent me a text message that said "You know you miss your kids when you wish you could do their laundry!" and another that lamented that she was shopping at Kohl's and wished her college aged daughter were there with her. I laughed because I was having some of those same feelings.

Tonight, Kristen was gone to a friend's house; Mike and James were helping with a benefit dinner for John 3:16 ministries; and Lauren was at work. I had the house to myself. I could control the remote, put on my pajama pants at 5 p.m.; have a hot fudge sundae for dinner, and take coffee and a book to the patio and watch the sun set over the water. Instead, I found myself drifting from room to room, flipping channels on the television, and talking nonsense to the dogs. All in an effort to break the silence. I finally resorted to washing the dust off my punchbowl, serving platters and cups, just to hear the dishwasher run!

Why is it that we always long for things, then when we get them: it isn't what we thought it would be? My great grandmother used to tell me "Be careful what you wish for". How true those words seem at this very moment!

I sit here in the too quiet house. The dogs are sleeping on the couch like they own the place. I missed the first 15 minutes of NCIS loading the dishwasher, and now it doesn't make sense. The only phone call I've gotten in the last two hours was a recorded message informing me that if I wanted to purchase more life insurance to please press two and a representative would be with me shortly. I was tempted to push two simply for the conversation.

John 16:32 says "But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me."

While the 16th chapter of John finds Jesus trying to make the disciples understand His impending death on the cross, verse 32 is also a simple reminder for all of us who may be feeling lonely, abandoned or isolated.

I am NOT alone. Christ is always just a whispered prayer away, waiting to hear me call out his name!