I heard this joke the other day."Why Parents Drink"!

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see
that his bed
was nicely
made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up
prominently on
the pillow, that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands
and read the
letter.



Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and
you. I have
been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew
you would not
approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle
clothes and the
fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the
passion...Dad, she's
pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in
the woods and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having
many more
children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people that
live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that
science will
find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm
sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's
house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than a
report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.