Elsie's Expose': Unknown Secret Dandelion Plan

By now most of the crops have been harvested and stored away where they belong. However, there is a problem few know about caused by that (in)famous woman in New York state. Dare I say her name? Well, here are her initials: EVD. Rumor has it she reneged on a deal with NASA, caused a Canadian border alert and people with lawns across America feared for their green grasses. You see Elsie was suppose to give the dandelions to NASA to take to the moon, but if you’ve noticed lately the moon isn’t very yellow. Her transportation agent, with the very nice positive name of Billy, is in California. Has a secret cabal of dandelion profusion networks been set up???!!! There should be no dandelions growing here this time of year meaning Elsie has left her mark in the park next to me. Now I don’t want to point fingers, but I had certainly thought this President Obama’s fault. I’m pretty sure Deloris and Colonel George think so. They are from Montana and harvest the Dental Floss Bush.

Of course Elsie was brought to a secret entrance at Rita’s Idaho Tattoo and Hair Salon. They had a nice dinner of potatoes and talked pleasantly about cell phone husbandry and hot air balloon therapy when suddenly agent Johnny B (The Bee Whisperer) said, ‘Let’s cut to the chase. Where ya hidin’ those dandelions, Sister?’ Elsie smiled and with grace said pleasantly, ‘You sure have a bee in your bonnet,’ and Johnny B said, ‘Why did you say that?’ They debated the relevance of that last statement and Elsie accepted that a baseball cap wasn’t a bonnet and they both agreed bees make honey. Isn’t compromise wonderful? However, not a word Elsie relented to say where the dandelions were at. As a matter of fact she claimed to know nothing about dandelions and said, ‘of this beautiful flower her knowledge lacked.’ I thought she sounded like a Fox News anchor. This is a mystery for Marge’s Flickertail.

Johnny B had to go back home to make chili and sing with honeybees and cut the cheese. So Marilyn KatInHat N was assigned to watch and mimic Elsie’s movements, but few realized how wild Elsie could be when she sensed she was being followed. Nobody fools the Queen, so of course Elsie went Bungee jumping. Marilyn quickly called her supervisor and said, ‘

So Elsie was left to her secretive Bungee jumping devices and within days after she left, the entire valley was ablaze with yellow. Everyone who loves a nice green lawn were horrified. The Bungee jumping business had a slump, so they offered a jump near a lake for half price. Well, Elsie went back to New York and got her socks ready for walking on the snow. No one can figure out why she can’t walk on water. However, don’t let her nice demeanor make you think your green lawn is safe for games of unimpeded coquette. It’s too early to know if a late Fall dandelion alert is warranted, but please don’t put away those digging tools: Be prepared!!! Elsie the Queen of Dandelions can strike anywhere. Oh no!!! There a dandelion outside coming towards my house. It just rang the doorbell!!!