Gather: Why Are People Leaving Gather?

There will always be hateful people in the world. Whether they come in the form of "trolls" or not. Best to let it roll off your back, and wish them blessings. Nothing makes them scratch their head more!
Life is just too precious to let the drama consume your life.

I agree

I agree.

Yes'm!

It is a shame that people are quitting because of these terrible people who have no lives and nothing better to do then try and bring down other people. I hope your friends will come back. I think we need to report anyone who is being cruel to other members you are right new members will not stay if this kind of thing continues.

I'd like some of the free time these peeps have, truly I would

There are hateful people who spoil ever interactive site, and it's just shameful! I think your ideas are great! Somebody needs to get gather back on track!

'Just take their insults as compliments and charge it to their ignorance.' Someone told me that when I was about 13 and I've never forgotten it. Works great!

i don't know why people do what they do

Gather should have a way to flag people who are being cruel. There is no reason for that.

They shouldn't let these people have control over their lives. They are giving them power by leaving.

I agree with you Monica. If I were ever to let those whom call me names and oppose my positions get to me, I would have left a long time ago.

I find the best way to respond to the trolls is to answer every comment they make in a respectful manner. Sooner, maybe even later, they will understand that they can't bring you down to their level.

You'll see a change in their behavior and maybe even become friends here at Gather. I wouldn't let someone else dictate what I choose to do in life, especially when there's potential income involved.

Just my opinion.

Lloyd

Gather, being a place for "opinion", enemies are likely to be made anytime we state an opinion on something political or religious. You kind of have to have a thick skin to go anywhere on the internet where public discussion is allowed. There is a way to avoid the trolls though. Only allow friends to comment on your posts and pictures. Yeah it stinks to have to do that but if you cant, as others above have said, let it roll off of you, that is the best way to avoid it. As far as the pings go you can moderate your pings and if someone you dont care for pings you, you can delete it without even having to read it.

Wise advice,Bryan. Don't get into "pissing contests" with these people; they do it for the attention.....to see if they can get a rise out of you...that's how they get their jollies...kind of a perverse pleasure. I've had people on Gather call me names; I don't take the bait-I just move on!-Norman

It is the nature of human behavior to behave badly. I believe that the Internet simply provides very fertile ground for it. I simply ignore these sorts.

I think we should get a quota of flags and ones. Once you've used them up for the year, you don't get anymore til next year. Ha!

lol thats not a bad idea.

Carol, I read your Post! And I do Fully Agree with You on this.

"Gather" is a Place to Share,whether it be Photo's,Lives,Heart-Aches,Happiness or just eveyday things.
"God" says we are to Pray for our enemies! This I can Do. Sincerely, RobbinLynn.

That's a shame people are doing that. Ive been trolled before and it isn't nice...but the other Gatherites here make it so I just ignore those few mean people.

I have gotten into heated political discussions before and had the conversation escalate. When it gets to the point of a personal insult, I just walk out. I know that some have followed my writing only to track it. I also have people who call and hang up where I live. I screen my calls now and only give it to my friends and those who need it. I know who the person is who is divisive. Some people will never let go of their hate. It drives them unexplicably.

Carol,

It has been my experience that Gather is becoming more lenient relevant to enforcement of the Community Guidelines. This includes name calling and other forms of ad-hominem attacks. If they correct behavioral problems early, they can avoid larger more serious issues down the road.

You are so right, Kevin, and I know you have been victimized as well. I will wear my award with pride.

wahoo..Kevin's back.

One should never allow rude and ugly comments to bother them. Consider the source and know that you have affected them in the way you want or else they would not have reacted as they did. Actually it is a compliment of sorts.

I agree Clifford, but I am losing friends and family who don't want to bother. I think Gather is worth it, as most of the people are nice. Even people I don't agree with. It's just a shame that a few can ruin it for so many.

I agree with you Carol, just because people don't believe in the same things doesn't mean one is evil. I lost 1 friend this week.

Linda is leaving as well.

It would be nice if we could just flag a single comment within a post, and not affect the entire post.

The main problem is, that these people are anti-debate. If you disagree with them, they will not argue with facts, instead they resort to name-calling and character assasination. They know their wrong, and can't defend it, so they prefer to tear other people down.

Agreed. When they have no argument, they attack.

I think that it is more complex than that. I think that a significant lack of self-esteem exists within many who behave in this manner. I also think that a mob-mentality takes over. And, one never truly knows when mental illness directs ones behavior.

When they haven't got a clue they watch fox and believe trash like this.

When people keep leaving the haters win

Exactly, Sanaura. Then Gather loses.

You winning la la land?

Well, Carol, that's part of the reason I seldom come on Gather any more. I just get sick of all the back biting. I stayed away while I was getting treated for cancer (Successful, by the way) and afterwards Gather just seemed boring and a waste of my time. It's just deteriorated from the friendly way it was when I started here. Good luck in getting it all cleared up.

I do miss you, Lin. I'm so glad you're better now.

Lin G. I am so happy that you are well. I too had BC and survived it after hell and back. Glad to know that you survived as I have.

No one is going to run me off of Gather. I always enjoy gather.

Good Nancy, we can disagree but when people starting calling me names, I lowered myself to their level and I was the one that the Gather employees came down on.

I know how you feel Carol and am sad we have lost a couple of friends.

What I have noticed, is when I get in a back and forth with someone, and then move on to the next post, it continues there. I'm guilty of that as well, so a new person may read my comment and not know it was related to other posts, so I then look less than pleasant.

Most of the time, I have a come-back which "gets" them w/o calling names, and then I get it worse. Never ran into so many rude people, but remember they hide behind a fake name or post anything other than a picture. I'm right out there - name - pic and whatever, and they then know to whom they are speaking. Somtimes it's good, sometimes it's not so god. I did delete most personal info because it is used as ammo for one reason or another.

So hang strong and keep posting important issues.

I like you and Nancy and more, am not leaving. I just hate to see some good people like Lin above leave. Some people are truly hurting and these trolls must have no life.

...no life, no manners, no conscience, no morals, no respect for another's point of view. These trolls LOVE Obama no matter what he does, defend his every lie, support his every word (even it it is from the teleprompter)

and Linda, sometimes, like your comment above, is was sets people off. Just because someone likes Obama doesn't mean they are a troll.

Hi Nellie, guess you've not followed some of their comments, and do go from post to post and just make dumb comments.

Liking Obama doesn't made them a troll; it's just the trolls of which we are speaking love Obama and don't care what is happening.

So, while some of my comments may seem "strong" to you, I guess not knowing the history of some commenter makes it harder to understand.

Ahh, L:inda I follow most of them, they are on my friends list, I read most of your posts, but rarely comment. I find that commenting on some people's posts aren't worth it. The "opinion" is so set in the mind that if anyone disagrees with that person (you), then the other is a troll who loves the President.

Comments with valid points are appreciated; name calling and rude behavior are not. Obviously I have an opinion, and many stop by to state an opposing opinion - which is great. That's the way we learn but not necessarily change anyone's mind.

It is all orchestrated. We the people have been divided purposely. We argue and fight among ourself and ignore what is actually going on and our governemnt and country are being given away to the UN and their masters.

We all need to wake up and band together or we will lose it all.

Indeed, Col. They want us arguing about some things while they sneak others in behind our backs.

I so agree, Col.
I heard someone say today on the Hannity show, that's it's all fixed, and we're just pawns.

Exactly Carol, we are being manipulated

I think it's time to break the mold.

That's too bad that nice people can't even be given a chance to get to know all of the nice people that there are here on Gather because of a few bad apples.

I personally wouldn't let those people bother me and just keep on keepin'on with my happy ol' self.

So true, Ester. You've hung tough.

Oops, spelt your name wrong.

I think there should be stricker rules for this kind of childish behavior... I was on an article the other night and just observed... One woman started attacking with the names because someone wrote something negative about Obama... she took it as an insult to her, I guess... I dont know why, people such as this , cant read or comprehend. she starts calling names to the commenter... I know this can happen on both sides of the issue,,, but I really started paying attention and its uncalled for..
I have seen some on here ping others and talk trash, and I mean trash about another member and mention the name of the person...

Speaking officially in my role as Patriotic Troll of Gather Freedom, I have to say that giving low ratings is beneath most self respecting trolls. Real trolls rely more on personal insults, the more gratuitous, the better.

I've been on line since 1991 or so. I've done BBSs, IRC, USENET, and other stuff. I don't think Gather is particularly uncivilized by Internet standards. Unfortunately the Internet seems to make people feel free to act like talk radio hosts. I think that taking part in an on line forum means you should be prepared to face gratuitous insults. If people annoy you they'll probably go away if you ignore them. Don't worry about the ratings. If ratings meant anything the average rating would be 5.

I say ignore the creeps into submission. They (like most bullies) are only looking for attention. When you get a nasty comment, pretend it was a demon arrow from some evil dimension that can only touch you if you touch it.

Turning tail and moving out of town to avoid the rowdies only gives them a greater percentage of the overall remaining population.

Carol, I plan to come back long enough to read your pithy articles. I miss them as well as a few other people, but especially I miss you. I have always admired you as a warm, loving parent/person and an individual who is honest and forthright and doesn't mind speaking her mind. By the way, I think all your family is beautiful. Even your dogs. I hope you are taking into account the source of those nasty comments and letting them roll off you like water off a duck. Just remember what a wonderful person you are and how sad the lifes of these kibitzers must be to be so bitter.

Carol I am sorry your friends are leaving gather. Maybe they will come back. As for the nasty people on gather. I just do not bother with them. I have a lot of friends who are nice. and I just stick with them. Who cares what the trolls like?

Hey, Carol, I just stopped here to make sure we were still connected so tomorrow after the upgrade we can determine whether it was the cause that we aren't again if we aren't.

Still connected. Good job, Gather!

Some people like to use the seeming anonymity of the internet. I doubt that woman would have said that to your face unless she wanted to get hurt.

I have since my day 1 here, been very secerative. Few even know that my name is Norman. I love the nickname that my Mom give to me, and while there seem to be numerous beach bums, I am my Moms son. I think that the behavior we see from some is so far removed from civil, that they should be barred forever. Every personal attack should have some penality. EVERY Threat should be reported to law enforcement! If that does not get proper attention, move up the line in law enforcement. Local, State, FBI. Notify the agressor, Send them to ME, Do not just be passive. I understand the posts earlier, and there is much merit to; turn the other cheek, don't be a lettin it bothering you, water off a ducks back, etc. But I also know that some problems will follow you forever. The only way to resolve their stupidity, is to face it head on. You don't wanna go there, I will. I can not make intentional problems evaporate, but I will respond to their attacks. I do not relish that type of interaction, on the net or in real life. But these people are wanna-be "emotional terrorists", and their methods ARE effective. No one should be subjected to this low-life behavior. About most of it, we can do little. When it reaches the point of threats, which it often seems to do, then we Must do something.
One thing I wrote before the internet, and with thanks to Rudyard Kipling for the concept, is this. Emotional Terrorists should be SHOT, not dead, necessarily, but in the stomach, so that it hurts a Lot, and they remember it for a long time.
Maybe I'll change my 'handle' to Troll Seeker". Really, send them to me, ping me with their attack, I'll look for any threat, and deal with their ignorance.
I swore an Oath 40+ yrs ago to uphold and defend our Constitution. To me that is American Freedom, American Liberty, American Justice. We have set the quality standard for the World. These trolls seek to infringe upon our God given Rights to communicate freely. I never forgot my Oath, in fact, I take it a tad more seriously. My Oath to defend Americans, and Freedom, is My Love-Promise to God.
Send me to your troll.

I'm aware of people leaving. February will be four years for me here on Gather and I've definitely seen them come and go. Engaging the trolls only encourages them. Heck, Carol, you know that. Unfortunately I've seen more good people go than trolls leaving and that's pretty frustrating.

I see even THIS particular post isn't safe as I recognize one of the harassers commenting here. Unless people are willing to keep up with the harassment through screen shots and documenting posts, dates and times of comments, it can get overwhelming, and even then it's word against word.

Sorry to hear things haven't changed. I'm afraid I don't know Lin, but I do know Linda and she's a good person.

Sorry Carol... it IS a different world here now.

I just wasn't on myself because I was suffering a two day hangover and split open my finger on Sat. (don't ask, I have no idea..whew tequila)

I got your messages though, and will look at them.

Talks to ya later.

My biggest problem with trolls is folks who engage 'em in my articles' comment threads. Leave 'em alone, folks.

I don't get on Gather as much as I did, and I seldom look at political or religious posts any more. I hate the negative feelings that drip off them. I go through enough with poor health so I don't need this stuff, too.

I only read and follow a few light humored or inspiring friends so I come away with good feelings. I followed Cathi here and read the title then decided to read the article and to comment.

I've been here since early on and have one over-all observation that covers almost everyone here...most members (me too) think that they are more sophisticated and their opinions are more important than they really are.

Think about it. Doesn't it fit?

I was just thinking about what you said, we think our opinions are more important than they really are! Well put! That really sums it up for me.

I'm going to start searching for the light, kind and humor reading here. The religious and political threads give me nightmares!