Below Her Knees

O' my God, this is just so beautifully written! David, this song sings to a special place in my heart! Thank you ever so much for writing and sharing - excellence!

Ruthi -

Thank you so much for such warm words. I'm happy your got something from this piece. Unfortunately, I'm sure there will be many women that can relate. I'll be over to visit you soon as well, darlin'.

Returning, it has touched my worn spirit once again. I hope you don't mind I've posted this to my Twitter!

Ruthi -

As long as I got the byline, I'm okay with it. ;) Thank you for such a kind gesture and I hope you continue to take something special from this piece.

Oh, absolutely you did David. I just twittered the url to the post so my followers would view it!

Beautifully done, David. I enjoyed this one!

Donna -

God it's nice to see your icon over here again. Have missed you, darlin'! Thank you for coming by for the visit and taking your time to read and comment so warmly. See you soon.

I comment-stalked Donna here. Is there a way to hear the song, too?

Dannielle -

There has yet to be any music set to this piece, but I'm hoping to accomplish that someday soon. For now - it's strictly lyrics to put to whatever music you hear in your head when reading it. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment.

Is there actually music for this?

Because the world I know has been in need of a sensitive expression of that idea for a long time, and yours, my brother, is a very wonderful way of saying something that needs very much to be heard.

Guy -

Thank you so much for such kind words. No, there is not music that has been put to this. But, as I mentioned to Dannielle, I hope that might be done one day soon.

Thanks again for taking your time and effort to stop and comment, amigo.

It's a poem. Doesn't need the background music. I'd like to see the results of more poems, please. Good work.

Jerome -

Thank you and I'm trying. *winks*

David, it is awesome - and true...

Cristina -

Thank you and I'm glad you seemed to relate to this piece.

Beautiful words, David. (I thought of my mother)
It's a lovely tribute to the strength of women worldwide. Does it need a melody?
Not necessarily, but it would make a moving song.

Aunt Boni -

Thank you for such warm words and I believe it would do well with some music. I appreciate your time and effort to come by and comment.

What I got from this was the feeling of how few of us (not just women) really have the stength to be alone instead of in a loveless relationship
You continue to amaze

Steve -

I'm so glad to see you again! It's nice to have you reading and commenting on my work. Your opinions are important to me and I value them greatly, amigo. Your take on the piece is accurate and, of course, both sexes have their issues with this topic. Well said!

Dave~Thanks for this much needed, truly inspiring piece. As always I'm impressed. May smiles light your path always my friend...

Alice -

I have REALLY missed you, darlin'! Everytime I see that icon of yours, I get sick for the good ole Gather days. Please write for us when you get a chance. And stay in-touch. Okay? Hope all is well for you and yours.

Packs a wallop, Kowboy. Packs a wallop.

Kathryn -

Coming from you, those words pack a wallop too. TY!!

Very moving. Isn't it true that the simplest things are also the hardest to grasp?

I love the struggle in this piece. The encouraging words in the chorus act like a gnawing truth that she is having a hard time coming to terms with. The repetition is perfect--ehcoing like the human consciousness which never relents until we do the right thing.

I could actually hear the meter of the song, as well as the phrasing and acoustics....this really has potential and I hope you can shop it around of put it to music yourself. Maybe some material for the Fallen Weebles--who knows?

Jeremy -

"The repetition is perfect--echoing like the human consciousness which never relents until we do the right thing."

Exactly!

Thank you so much for such an insightful read, DJ. As always, your take was dead-on and I appreciate your kind words of support. And you're right, of course, simple can be tough, yet VERY liberating once you are brave enough to face it.

Gentle encouragement but the repetition and rhythm enforces a stronger persuasion almost a plea.

I like the use of window and shuddered in "Its not the window where she waits/Nor shuddered dreams left again". I can't help but be intrigued by the deeper symbolic meaning here? I guess because you used the word "left again" and using the word "shuddered" instead of "shutter" leaves the reader wanting to read deeper and understand the true story. I love knowing that every word you use has intention and purpose. Something I need to bring into my own writing.

The other line that grabs the attention of intrigue is "and it will always be/'cause it has always been..." the mix of tense here demands some consideration. And throws in a bit of confusion to the mix.

I also like that you used "steel" blue but the interesting twist is "in her eyes". Steel brings a connotation of coldness or sadness. And "in her eyes" suddenly strips away the literal edge of eye color. Maybe more of a look than eye color? Brilliant use of words!

Job well done!

Britches -

Leave it to you to notice the subtle amidst such loud words and phrases.

Nice "gets" on "shuddered" and "left again".

Truly the "each word" aspect of poetry is vitally important. It's that consideration and that effort that makes a piece worth the reading. It also allows the author to leave hints or clues, that when followed, take the reader down a path they might not have considered without that kind of thoughtful writing. I find your work already abides this principle.

"in her eyes" and "of her eyes" are completely different, eh? As it should be. No?

*winks*

Thank you for such an insightful read. Damn!

Fantastic, David!

Thank you Curt!!!

Please understand (as R. Ellen. M. pointed out)....the word "shuddered" is spelled that way intentionally. A simple play on words with the previous mention of "window", but with a different meaning.

Read it that way.....*winks*

I'm thinking of Nancy Sinatra singing "These boots were made for walklin' and hear the base going dute dute dute dute dute dute dute dute....
As a reader I sing along with the chorus encouraging her to walk away.

Jan -

Nice to see you here! "Encouraging her" is a good way to put it. Come connect with me over at Twitter. I'm at http://twitter.com/TheKowboyPoet.

Wow! That's a beauty not oft' appreciated, the woman who knows her right to choose...

Liz -

Amen! Thanks for stopping in and taking the time to read and comment.

This is Beautifully written, David!