The Naughty Stone

Once upon a time all school playgrounds had stones. This was known as the stone age. These playgrounds had small stones, aka, ditto rocks, some medium rocks by the fences and some stinky big boulders. They were stinky because children, teachers and mommy’s sat on them often silently adding to the global warming problem with emissions of methane gas. Still, things were orderly. The stones had always been nice except maybe once not twice, but this was different. A prankster renegade stone was causing the school board to think about a concrete jungle.

This renegade stone was not from common stone family, but had had a fairly cushy life indoors by the candy machines. One day a girl wearing saddle shoes stepped in some sort of yellow boo boo and she put her shoe up on this stone, which left a yellow flower like mark and confirmed her suspicion she was wearing saddle shoes. In time, students gave this stone the infamous name Dandelion and just like in your yard, it was an eyesore. The vice principal thought this stone the reason for student behavioral problems, so he tried to sell this stone on e-Bay, but there were no takers.

The stone ‘Dandelion’ sat there with defiant irreverence the kids fed on. Students started having tea parties around Dandelion and needed funds from the sale of yummy sugar laced beverages dried up. Posters were put up throughout the city offering this stone for free and complaints started pouring in about an eyesore. The posters were taken down and students continued drinking tea, which the Giant Leprechaun Magi claims to be ‘The Evil Addiction.’ It would look rather dumb to blame a teabag, so rightly or wrongly ’Dandelion was banished to the playground.

Dandelion was not at all fond of outside activities. Indoors everything thing had been taken care off, even an occasional sponge bath. That was the good life, but now kids running in mud stepping all over you and that kid in saddle shoes stepped in something stinky and scraped it off on you know who. Dandelion was starting to have self esteem issues and then definitely developed an edge the first time it rained all night. It was like an Alice Copper song in slo-mo because stones move slowly you know. Dandelion decided the 4-letter word ’nice’ need not apply and mischief was in the air shocking the other stones there.

One day a heavy rain washed Dandelion into the main path where the students walked and although Dandelion definitively a minority, this stone was blamed because a rash of accidents had suddenly taken place. The may be hard to believe but slow motion video footage clearly shows Dandelion raising up at just the right moment to trip several students. Clearly the stone was guilty and needed to be removed from society, but…,

Breaking News: 

Dandelion is actually innocent, but the past judged and convicted future sins. What really happened was a new tunnel was being made in a salt mine about 700 feet below the surface. The had used dynamite. Of course the school was not told about this, but who cares? We have a culprit and this diverts attention.