by John Philipp

Member since:
August 10, 2006

Thought~Byte No.176

October 27, 2009 11:53 PM EDT

views: 182 | rating: 9.9/10 (14 votes) | comments: 101

Thought~Byte No.176

Whoops, make that "advice".

Concept and words by John Philipp. Drawings by Phil Frank.

(The comments below are where the wisdom is found.)

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Tags: thoughtbytes, philosophy, psychology, writing, life, relationships, cartoon, johnphilipp, wwe, advice, self

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Comments: 101

John Philipp Oct 27, 2009, 11:53pm EDT

Mini Thought~Bytes (words without drawings) appear every day on my Twitter page. If you're on Tweeter please follow me and I'll follow you.

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John Philipp Oct 27, 2009, 11:54pm EDT

Thought~Bytes are posted every Wednesday. To see all Thought~Bytes and get an email when new ones are posted, please join Thought~Bytes

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Paul Allen Leoncini Oct 28, 2009, 12:00am EDT

know thy self, or something like that?

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:12am EDT

Let's say know thyself well enough to not rely solely on thyself for advice.

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Angela A. Oct 28, 2009, 12:06am EDT

Yep. The only one you can count on is yourself. Te he!

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:13am EDT

Ah, put do you always tell yourself the truth, Angela?

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Vivian A. Oct 28, 2009, 12:09am EDT

I don't know, John. Trust me, the world needs only one me. I don't generally preach to the choir, but maybe I'm just delusional.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:13am EDT

In this case, Vivian, you would be the choir :)

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JOHN BECK Oct 28, 2009, 12:12am EDT

Sometimes people hear what they want to hear in terms of advice regardless, but it's certainly easier if we get our advice from someone we know will agree with us.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:14am EDT

If we also include those who don't agree with us, John.

JOHN BECK Oct 28, 2009, 6:33am EDT

Then we're not choosing our mirror--we're being honest with ourselves in seeking advice.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 7:58am EDT

OK, I see how you meant it.

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Nina A Oct 28, 2009, 12:20am EDT

What if I know myself enough to know that I should rely on myself for advice? I often put myself in somebody else's shoes and think what would I say to me? I give good advice and know what I should do....I just never do it. I follow my heart more than my brain.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 7:59am EDT

Sounds like you know yourself well enough to know that you never follow your own advice, Nina.

A good sign that a respected outsider might help?

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Robert - just a simple man - B. Oct 28, 2009, 12:21am EDT

Yep, and unfortunately, I USUALLY end up listening.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:00am EDT

Robert, it's hard not to when the guy is good looking, articulate, and has that twinkle ...

Robert - just a simple man - B. Oct 28, 2009, 8:20am EDT

Gee Thanks John.

(Now I'm almost ashamed of diving naked in your cocoa puffs over on your other post - hope my spurs don't rust)

Jennifer K. Oct 28, 2009, 12:01pm EDT

There's that picture in my head again!!!! ; )

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Sunaura *. Oct 28, 2009, 12:25am EDT

We all mirror each other

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:00am EDT

Sunaura, tell me more about that.

Sunaura *. Oct 28, 2009, 12:28pm EDT

The philosophy is that there is just one of us here. We are holograms of the source, each observing and experiencing from a different angle.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 6:57pm EDT

God, I hope it's me, in which case you're all welcome.

Sunaura *. Oct 29, 2009, 10:22am EDT

ROFL

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Dianna Doles-Petry Oct 28, 2009, 12:36am EDT

But of course, and I talk to myself because I can always get the answers I want to hear!

Ruth J. Oct 28, 2009, 12:45am EDT

"I talk to myself because I can always get the answers I want to hear!"

I've heard that coming from my mouth once or twice.

Dianna Doles-Petry Oct 28, 2009, 1:05am EDT

But of course! Sometimes it is a bit like our own personal pep talk.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:01am EDT

May be that's what a reporter means when he says he got the information from a "reliable source."

Dianna Doles-Petry Oct 28, 2009, 10:02am EDT

You could be right with that one!

Jennifer K. Oct 28, 2009, 12:02pm EDT

I talk to myself because at least I know I'm listening. :)

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:23pm EDT

It's always nice to have an audience, Jennifer. Mothers are good for that too and tied-up people.

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Ruth J. Oct 28, 2009, 12:50am EDT

do try to be open to suggestions and occasionally I catch one that helps my outlook. I was once told that I must like complaining. That one hurt but it was true so I cleaned up my act. Now people are more likely to tell me I don't complain enough. I can deal with that. Mirrors don't tell it like it is.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:02am EDT

But they are seductive, Ruth, because they look like they are.

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Tanya P. Oct 28, 2009, 1:17am EDT

I argue with myself in the mirror. Sometimes I win; sometimes my reflection wins. Guess I'd best see a professional with yet another outlook.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:06am EDT

Tanya, this is to the Johari Window concept in psychology.

There are some things you and others know about you. (The Known You)
There are some things you know about yourself that no one else knows (Hidden You)
Some things others know about you that you don't (The Blind You)
And some things neither you or anyone else knows - yet (The Unknown You)

All are needed to get a full picture of yourself.

Tanya P. Oct 28, 2009, 8:47pm EDT

Interesting. I didn't know there was such a concept named and defined. Guess I've been doing my inner search of who I am and who I want to be pretty much on track then. Yay me! (That self-cheer comes from all the 'me's of myself chuckling)

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Elizabeth R. Oct 28, 2009, 1:39am EDT

There are times when I am the only person who listens. ROFL!

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:07am EDT

:) Elizabeth.

I guess when even I won't pay attention to me is the sign that I'm in trouble.

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Jan S. Oct 28, 2009, 3:22am EDT

I guess if we want honest feedback, we're better off to ask someone who might not give us a comfortable answer. At other times, a comfortable answer is just exactly what we want.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:08am EDT

Agreed, Jan, and "answer" is not what we're looking for.

So your thought adds to this by saying that to whom we talk depends on what our objective is.

Thanks.

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Vinod Sailes Oct 28, 2009, 3:50am EDT

A perfect view John. Of course after consulting the mirror, we surely become wiser pennywise.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:08am EDT

We certainly feel better, Vinod.

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Linda T. Oct 28, 2009, 6:47am EDT

When confronted with an issue many of us already know which path we will take but we will seek out advice from someone we know who will chose the same path we have already chosen. A form of self reassurance maybe.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:09am EDT

True, Linda, and I suspect we know down deep that it is really faux assurance.

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Sandi S. Oct 28, 2009, 7:47am EDT

Do you ever go to someone you know is going to agree with you? :)

I do... shh.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:11am EDT

I guess the question, Sandi, is why do that? Linda and Jan have suggested a couple of reasons.

Sandi S. Oct 28, 2009, 8:20am EDT

I think it's because sometimes we asked for advice when we really want affirmation.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:24pm EDT

Good one to add to the list. Thanks.

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Larry M. Oct 28, 2009, 8:05am EDT

One of Gather's many virtues is that you can almost always find someone who disagrees with you.

One of the advantages of being as opinionated as I am is that you don't go to others for advice, you go to others to lecture to them. Great fun to show them how superior one is. :-)

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 8:12am EDT

True, Larry. It's even easier on Gather. You don't have to make any effort. They will find you.

As for the second part of your comment, I see you already know the answer to that. :)

Larry M. Oct 28, 2009, 8:18am EDT

I have my own mirrors in my head which always tell me the truth about myself whether I like it or not. For some reason they always know what I'm thinking.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:25pm EDT

Maybe that's what was going on with the wicked witch and her mirror on Snow White.

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Jamie C. Oct 28, 2009, 8:27am EDT

It's nice to be validated though. :-)

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:26pm EDT

Agreed, Jamie, except if that's why you asked that person then it weakens the validation because unconsciously you know what they'll say.

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carolyn b. Oct 28, 2009, 8:31am EDT

cute

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:27pm EDT

Thanks, Carolyn.

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tammy b. Oct 28, 2009, 9:05am EDT

so true.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:27pm EDT

Tammy, all Thought~Bytes are true (except when they're not.)

tammy b. Oct 28, 2009, 1:34pm EDT

I suppose I would have to agree:)

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Kushal Poddar Oct 28, 2009, 9:14am EDT

I can always be a yesman to you when your wisdom is talking.

on a belief we don’t believe

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:28pm EDT

Thanks, Kushal. I often need it.

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K D. Oct 28, 2009, 10:04am EDT

When we choose our friends, we choose people who are like us.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:29pm EDT

I'd say it's more like people I can trust for me. I do have some weird friends — and I mean by that a different form of weird than I.

K D. Oct 31, 2009, 9:50am EDT

HA HA!! Well, eclectic is good, too!

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Judi F. Oct 28, 2009, 10:34am EDT

which is exactly why your best friend should not be your critique partner. You need an unbiased eye, someone willing to tell you it's not as great as you think it is, to read your work!

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:29pm EDT

Absolutely, Judi. No family or friends looking at your writing.

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Sandre M. Oct 28, 2009, 10:50am EDT

My best friends have always been people who love me enough to tell me when I'm wrong.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:30pm EDT

You're a lucky woman, Sandre.

Sandre M. Oct 28, 2009, 1:16pm EDT

I think so. Wait...are you just agreeing with me to agree with me? LOL

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Dennis Gilman Oct 28, 2009, 11:29am EDT

Which is why I often ask atheist for their opinion of my logic.

My mirror is supposed to show faults that I would not otherwise see, but human mirrors often (but not always) reflect my own perception, so if it needs to be adjusted, I will never know.

Dennis Gilman Oct 28, 2009, 11:31am EDT

I first read this in Olde English:

"If only we had the gift to see ourselves as others see us." (My translation)

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:32pm EDT

You can't see it all (See my comments to Tanya above about Johari's Window). There is a Blind You that others see.

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Jennifer K. Oct 28, 2009, 12:05pm EDT

Very good John. I try to ask for advice from someone that I know will tell me the truth and no what I want to hear no matter what the issue might be.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:32pm EDT

Good, Jennifer. As pointed out by others above, sometimes it's not advice you're looking for. So the friend should fit the situation/your need.

Jennifer K. Oct 28, 2009, 1:52pm EDT

Exactly.

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Heidi S. Oct 28, 2009, 12:11pm EDT

We're usually not really looking for advice, we are looking for someone to agree with us...

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 12:33pm EDT

Quite often the case, Heidi. Thanks.

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Lydia (part of the solution) Shelley Oct 28, 2009, 12:40pm EDT

Yup. No point asking advice from someone who will only tell us what we want to hear, instead of what we NEED to hear.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 1:56pm EDT

Right, Lydia. That's what mirrors are for.

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~Sia McKye~ Oct 28, 2009, 1:21pm EDT

My mirror said, you look awful this morning. Take a shower, fix your hair, put on some makeup. Gads. do I have to tell you everything?

Advice, hmmm. I sometimes will go to friends who are particularly savvy in the area I need advice. They're people I respect. Those few will also give it to me straight, including 'been on Denial, long You're boat is sinking.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 1:57pm EDT

Mirrors do have their shortcomings, Sia :)

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Sheila Deeth Oct 28, 2009, 2:22pm EDT

Hmm. Not sure sure I'd trust me for good advice.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 3:50pm EDT

Sometimes we're not the best person to advise ourselves, Sheila.

I think the legal term is "conflict of interest."

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Kamran Qureshi Oct 28, 2009, 2:30pm EDT

brilliant!!!

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 3:50pm EDT

Ah, you were here, Kamran.

I commented on the FB thread first.

Thanks again.

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Beaker (just Beaker) Oct 28, 2009, 4:48pm EDT

I just read somewhere that "most conversation is really monologues"--and I thought, well yeah, it seems that way when you're not doing your share of listening, really listening, to the person you're talking with, when you're just thinking about the next brilliant point you're going to make.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 7:00pm EDT

Blindness by our own brilliance, Beaker. A common affliction and an excellent add-on here.

Thanks..

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Teresa A. Oct 28, 2009, 5:10pm EDT

That's true... I don't normally give advice but when I do I try to be as open and honest as I can so as not to just tell them what they want to hear.

John Philipp Oct 28, 2009, 7:02pm EDT

Good, Teresa, and those who don't want it straight don't ask again. Sort of a "thinning the herd" strategy.

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blaine d. Oct 28, 2009, 9:38pm EDT

great one!

John Philipp Oct 29, 2009, 12:06am EDT

Thanks, Blaine.

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~Lady Neeetah of California~Obama #44 W. Oct 28, 2009, 11:13pm EDT

It is the best advisor I have ever known in my life, John . . .well, the second best advisor. No one, to date, has beat my mother.

John Philipp Oct 29, 2009, 12:05am EDT

Hard to top the moms.

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LaRue B. Oct 29, 2009, 6:59am EDT

However, many times you don't get the answers you are seeking from people you are comfortable with. Many times they give you the same answer you would get talking to yourself. But, generally the answer does lie within the person, it just takes some one to pull it out; friends don't always know how!

John Philipp Oct 29, 2009, 9:35am EDT

A good way to explain this, LaRue. There is an "extraction" process/skill involved as well. Thank you.

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Bill W. Oct 29, 2009, 12:03pm EDT

I quit talking to mirrors when they quit answering my questions. Now I am down to taking advice from medical folks and, of course, my bride whose advice comes in the form of threats.

Rest easy

John Philipp Oct 29, 2009, 8:10pm EDT

My guess is that those are unsolicited threats. :)

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Jeff K. Oct 29, 2009, 7:16pm EDT

Any idea is a great idea if it's confined to just oneself.

John Philipp Oct 29, 2009, 8:11pm EDT

I agree, Jeff. When formed sometimes ideas need to grow up a little bit in your mind, but eventually you have to let them out of the nest to see if they can fly.

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