I'm back in class again and my first assignment was to write a 250 word essay on what makes a happy marriage.
Here's my answer:
It is a sad fact that many couples engage in unhealthy communication. The key to a happy marriage is the couple’s ability to repair the damage as it is happening or after it has been done. Healthy couples repair the damage so it does not become permanent. They take responsibility for their actions or attitudes and they accept the other person’s attempt to reconcile as well as move on from it. They don’t harbor resentment. They choose not to let the soul wound develop. They live by the attitude that God gives us his grace daily and they extend that to their spouse’s infractions.
If we don’t forgive and forget, the cycle of destruction and arguing can make the other person move away from the relationship and build walls against each other instead of moving toward each other in love. When couples choose unhealthy communication such as criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling, the relationships ultimately breaks down and moves away from a healthy marriage.
Secure people and ultimately secure, happy marriages are ones that are not afraid of emotions and are willing to seek and accept comfort from each other. They also know that relationships can be safe and that leads them to the courage for love and intimacy. These couples and individuals take responsibility for themselves and they find the courage to act when needed and love themselves as well as their partner.
What do you think makes a happy marriage?
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Comments: 38
You can't be happy in a marriage unless you can feel comfortable being yourself and expressing your feelings.
That, and when I awken in the morning the first thing i do is appologize for everything I am about to do wrong that day. Then the way is cleared for more important things.
http://craftrsmuse.blogspot.com
craftersmuse.blogspot.com
And don't cheat - that hurts feelings really bad.
I have a hateful marriage
Although I have no much of an experience on this score, yet it prompts me to point out that (as already aptly pointed out by you) it is “attitude” that counts for building up a life of partnership. Invariably, it is attitude which will help a couple to hold on to a happy marriage. If even one partner lacks this vital ingredient, then the marriage could on the rocks for both. Moreover, children who have been brought up by decent and well-natured parents will not find married life any of a problem because it is the mannerisms and attitude inculcated in to the minds of children that would stand in good stead during moments of differences. Yes “attitude”.
i wish i had done things much different in my marriage... and we would still be together... :(((
Great job!
After all, most marriages are going to end someday, at least in the sense that the two people are together in this lifetime. I am NOT talking about divorce. Death happens, as much as we want to deny it. So it helps to have a strong support network of friends (even a good friend or two) and family. It helps to have separate interests and realize that one can survive, married or not.
The person who realizes his or her own strength(s) is likely to be able to be part of a strong marriage, too, not feeling threatened by being dependent sometimes and/or being strong for the other person. It shifts from day to day.
I like that my husband and I can communicate, even when we disagree. We value the other persons opinion. He is my best friend.