Grandmother Speaks to Me Like Thunder

With a final rumble

            the storm rolls away

                               beyond the vanishing plains.

Gold rimmed clouds

          sail across

        heavenly blue...

While shapes, like shadows,

         ramble t'wixt

the grasses

            below.

One white shadow

drifts closer

Her voice,

     like Moonlight,

                   Waxes

               and

    Wanes...

"Peace, my siblings!

Still thy restless souls

              and listen...

Great Mystery is calling thee!

 Trust!

    Neither fear

              nor flee!

Gather 'neath

             the Cottonwood tree

                    and I

will teach you how to start...

Abundance flows through

                       prayer and gratitude..

Ask and you shall receive!

                      Feel the Divine hand upon thy heart.

Be the vessel you were made to be.

...Once, but no more...
Once, we echoed the Grandfather Thunders
       as we shadowed the hills and ran free.
Divinity honored in All Our Relations,
       whatever our differences may be...

Holy! Holy! Holy!

      In all things,

          Creator

                   calls

                       to

                     Thee!

Are you too proud to bow?"

Who Sings Now?

"Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord."  Psalms 4:5

"Self-sacrifice is the real miracle out of which all the reported miracles grow."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might also pray in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance."  Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)

"From Wakan-Tanka, the Great Mystery, comes all power. It is from Wakan-Tanka that the holy man has wisdom and the power to heal and make holy charms. Man knows that all healing plants are given by Wakan-Tanka, therefore they are holy. So too is the buffalo holy, because it is the gift of Wakan-Tanka."  Flat Iron, Ogala Sioux Chief

Bison's power is evident the moment one sees their massive bodies, large heads, powerful shoulders and sturdy legs. Often weighing a ton or more and standing approximately 5-6' at the shoulder, Buffalo or Bison is a cloven hooved bovine. Bovines of all sorts have figured prominently in our history, myths, and religions for centuries, and as always one who feels called by mighty American Buffalo (actually a Bison) should take good look at the close relatives too. Here I will be speaking primarily of the American Bison that has always embodied Buffalo for me, although this poem was actually inspired specifically by White Buffalo which will also be mentioned here.

If you had any doubts, Bison is the largest mammal to be found in North America. Surprisingly, they can leap up to 6' and reach speeds of up to 40mph! Truly remarkable when you consider their size, weight and typically placid demeanor. Typically shaggy-coated in shades of brown, both males and females bear horns which are used to defend and to establish rank within the herd. They mate around August or September which typically results in a single calf at Spring time. Bison are considered mature at three years of age, and have a life expectancy of 18 to 22 years in the wild or 35 to 40 years in captivity. Though exceedingly rare, true White Buffalos are not actually albinos. Instead they have pigment within their skin, hide, and blue eyes. Although the American Bison was almost erradicated by Humans, they have almost no natural enemies. Occasionally a grizzly or wolf pack might bring down a young one or an elder.

Interestingly enough, homosexual behavior, including courtship and mounting, is also common among Bison. Pte winkte is Lakota for "two-spirit bison", although most Native American traditions recognize and honor "two-spirits" as trans or third gender beings with both a male and a female spirit residing within the same body. Within the larger herd, adult males and females will live separately except during mating season. Juvenile males and females will form bands together, and solitary males or females will also live at the fringes.

Typically, dominant bulls maintain harems of females within the herd that they "tend" during the mating season. The bull will follow a female he is interested in, encouraging her to accept him, and warn off other males. Calves are carried for nine months, born away from the herd, remain in isolation with their mothers for a period of days and are weaned at about seven months.Female bison are ready to mate when they are two to three years old. Males aren't ready to mate until they are about six.

Bison shows us through these aspects that true Strength is not violence, and requires patience, confidence, serenity, self-sacrifice, tolerance and acceptance. The four sturdy legs of Buffalo remind us the importance of staying grounded to mother Earth. Their horns remind us again of the intuitive connection between us and the Divine. Their massive heads and humped shoulders remind us of the importance of thought, and the development of wisdom. Our thoughts are connected to our actions just as surely as our active shoulders and arms support the head that controls all our conscious actions. Buffalo also teaches us that there is no one "right" way, and we all need to find a confidence and balance between our male and female aspects as we discover the way that is right for us. Nor should we attempt to dictate to others how they should live or what they should believe.

"When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears." Anthony Robbins

"It is not only my right and my privilege to walk in the abundance God has for me, it is my responsibility... just as it is my responsibility to live the rest of my truth." Jan Denise

"Not what we have but what enjoy, constitues our abundance." Epicurus (greek philosopher BC 341-270)

Buffalo teaches that Abundance in all things is ours for the asking whenever we couple "right thought" with "right action". If you aren't familiar with these terms, I suggest you look up information on the Eight Fold Path to enlightenment. When we walk our talk and live as generously as we wish to receive, then we walk with Buffalo and are doing our Creator's will most splendidly. I don't know anyone whose mother didn't say to them, "Treat others how you want to be treated." We look around the World today and have to wonder, "If this is true, why do so many people want to be treated like crap?!"

The answer to that is, in my opinion, that the majority of us aren't coupling right thought with right action. We say the words but we don't typically take the time to truly live moment to moment in a compassionate, tolerant, inclusive and generous manner. Do you feel guilty when you don't properly recycle something to show your love and respect for the World around you? Or when you wiggle out of helping someone because it isn't convienient? Do you separate your fellow humans into "us" and "them" catagories, discriminate against another based on their nationality, religion, or other life choices? Then to some degree, you are not hearing Buffalo's song. Everything we need truly is ours for the asking.

"Whatever we are waiting for-peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance- it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart."  Sarah Ban Breathnach

"God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you"? William A.Ward

"Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It's a way to live." Jackie Windspear

Without gratitude and prayer, the well of abundance runs dry within our lives and our World. This has been a huge issue with Humanity, and it is high time that we collectively began living in a grateful manner. When Abundance is taken for granted, dishonored, or neglected it shows. Humanity has callously hunted other species into extinction, savagely stripped resources, thoughtlessly polluted the waters, air and earth for generations. Scientists today worry about irrepairable impact on weather patterns, ocean levels, the vanishing fish that feed multitudes, and the disappearing bees and other pollinators that are essential to the entire plant kingdom. Around the World, we are beginning to see the effects of our callous and selfish choices... and still we argue over whether or not these are facts or mere fiction!

"Either hoeing the garden or washing bottles at the well, making soup for a sickman or listening to someone else's child, studying books, stacking logs, writing to the local paper or pulling that stubborn lamb into our world, I hear the song which carried my neighbor from one thing to the next: Earth feeds us out of her empty bowl."  Peter Levitt

Just as ignorance is no excuse, denile will not save us from the withdrawl of Abundance whether one looks at the topic on a global or merely personal level. Just as there is no one right way to live, there is no right way to pray. No matter how one prays, this expression of gratitude, thankfullness, and appreciation is vital to our well being, and through us the World. As always though, thoughts and the words that give our thoughts form must be completed with action... or all is for naught.

"We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them." Buddha

"To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one's own in the midst of abundance." Buddha

It is said when Creator asked of the Animals who among them would give up their lives to sustain the lives of the others, Buffalo was the first to step forward. A pure, true and generous heart draws the attention of Buffalo, and Creator, as surely as ants are drawn to a picnic. Like the healing waters, Buffalo follows the path of least resistance. Surrending ourselves utterly to the will of our Creator, choosing to walk the red and rocky road of life in a good way will channel the same flow of blessings and abundance through our lives as the fertile Nile.

Suiting actions to thoughts, it is when we give to those who need whatever we have to give that we live most fully, please our Creator, and help to make the World the paradise that was envisioned. Most often I find that people just need someone to listen, a little time, and perhaps a little laughter that they weren't able to find on their own. It usually isn't about things or the money to buy things, even necessary things. Although it is wonderful to give to charities, food drives and the like, our time, our respect, a smile or sympathetic ear are priceless gifts that show we are willing to give the most valuable thing we have, ourselves, to those in need.

The Give-Away ceremony in Native tradition is an excellent example of how to show our gratitude, but examples of this selfless philosophy can be found in most any culture, and a majority of organized religions, if you take the time to look. "It is better to give than to receive" is a familiar saying, and Jesus warned against selfish behavior when he said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." More than that though, Buffalo shows us that through these lessons we may become conduits for Divine Will.

"To love someone means to see him as God intended him."  Fydor Dostoevsky

"The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves."  Oscar Wilde

While Bison may sound like a totem filled with good, peaceful and fufilling things, it is by no means an easy totem. It takes many years, many trials, many heartaches and tests to truly understand these lessons, and more importantly, live by them. Bison people tend to be very wise, wise beyond their years. It is more than likely that such people have had many past lives, in fact, it is almost a requirement as there is more to learn than most of us could ever hope to accomplish in a single lifetime. Being the falliable humans that we are, it is so easy to be pulled from the enlightened path that Bison shows us. Don't think that our many errors and detours from this good spiritual road mean that we are unforgivable though. Creator's love and forgiveness knows no bounds and we are always encouraged to pick ourselves up, dust off, and try again.

Part of the Bison's lesson is the understanding that harmony, grace, abundance...all things come to he who waits. Sure, you could bull ahead and push through to your goal, but by doing so you may achieve your goal at a time when there is nothing really to be gained. Patience with our selves, others and the world in general is required. Sometimes the delays we encounter aren't just a test, sometimes they are there to keep us safe or to fufill our prayers when they will reap the most harvest. If we are surrendering to Divine will, then we should trust that all things are happening when and how they are meant to happen. It's so easy to second-guess one's self or get impatient, that is part of what makes this particular Teacher's path so difficult to follow although it is well worth our while!

"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools
and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled
with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep
and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.Sing your death song and die like a hero going home."

Chief Tecumseh (Crouching Tiger) Shawnee Nation 1768-1813

Death, literal or figurative, represents one of the greatest fears found in humanity. Why? Perhaps because, for all it's pains and flaws, we truly love this physical world around us. Despite the many trials of living, we love the many sensations, emotions and experiences that come with living. Death is a natural part of life though, and most cultures believe that we move on to a better place if we have lived this life well. My family is mostly of Irish/Scottish descent, and wakes were large affairs whenever a family member passed.

Through this I learned that Death was a time to express your admiration for the one who passed on, to remember their life in all it's glory and folly, and that basically funerals are for the living who are left behind even more than they are for the deceased. Bison teaches us that Death is the ultimate sacrifice and we should be willing to "drop the robe" of this physical life when Creator calls us home. This concept is most difficult for those left behind to come to terms with, and it seems like basic human nature to regret being left behind by those we love. In my experience, however painful the passing, Death is always hardest on those left behind.

My grandson, Zakary, was struck and killed by a vehicle August 2008. He would have been four in just 7 months. Before he and his mother left on this extensive trip with family and friends, we had three amazing days we shared with Zak. I could not understand at the time, or perhaps more likely, I simply refused to accept the many signs and messages before and during that weekend. In hindsight, it was abundantly clear from reading over my previous journal entries... that Zak understood much better than any of us exactly what was coming.

Sometimes, he was angry and resentful, and acted out as children will when crossed... and he quite clearly expressed his utter dissatisfaction at the thought of leaving on this long trip with a bold, "I am very angry at you." Sometimes he was inexplicably anxious, or even more unusual for him, filled with a craving for tactile comfort; climbing into our laps, curling up with us in a lazy day spot, coming into a room just to hold a hand or caress a cheek... and a stream of hugs and kisses given without request. Many bright moments stand out against the shadows of my mind like stars... painful still in their intensity now though wonderous still, and oh so wise. I will forever carry the memory of Zak and I stepping into the rain from that porch as the Thunders rumbled a few hills over, flashing Lightning of pink, purple, pearl and blue.

Just as I will never forget Zak, who had never raised a hand to me nor truly had a cross word to say to me in all his short life, striking me with a stick longer than he was tall...  in the middle of a treeless playground. He immediately burst into tears and soul-wrenching sobs as I told him that it was was alright, that I wasn't hurt and I would always love him. I did not understand then, I simply was not ready to see and begin the process of Acceptance, although I understand now that Zak struck me because he needed to sever the innate bond between us before he crossed over.

Considering how extremely difficult it has been to cope with his loss during the long year just passed, grief is quite an unfamiliar creature to me, I am grateful, despite the many tears and aching heart, that he listened to that Voice Within so much that weekend. Had he not done certain things at that time, had he listened less to the Spirit Within, had he not spoken his then-cryptic messages and done all this in the face of such a sudden and physically overwhelming passing... so bravely, so faithfully, honestly... That connection may have prooved too strong, the temptation of my spirit to follow after his may have called me away  or distracted me from this lifepath.

When it is my own time to cross over, I hope I can go with the same dignity & strength, the simple loving heart and innocent faith Zak displayed throughout. I do not know how long this grieving may last, although I suspect it will endure in some form until we meet again. I know that he will always hold a piece of my heart, just as a piece of him will live on with me. Zak taught me many things in our brief dance this time around. The importance of staying grounded and spiritually cleansed, the undeniable fact that we are all United, and that Divinity and Guidance are always there, we simply shape and clothe them with our thoughts and beliefs, Acceptance, listening to the Voice Within, opening one's self to the will of Creator, being of service to others... all lessons of the amazing Bison, are some of the most powerful, and deeply moving lessons that Zak taught me. He led through example, another Buffalo trait, right up to the moment of his crossing.

In all things, including our passing from this world, we should consider the generations left behind us. This is a cycle of Honor that nourishes our People, past present and future, and is, in my opinion, something we can all need to work on to varying degrees. If all we are able to leave future generations is a good example, than we have most certainly done our part. The all-encompassing compassion of Buffalo is a lesson to practice harmony with all things, to never take more than we need, to show gratitude for all that we receive, to honor our Ancestors, Selves and the Children of our future equally, and to give whatever we can at every opportunity as soon as we see the need. We truly do get out of life what we put into it. If we give whatever we  have whenever we see another in need, if we give freely and joyously... than we will receive with the same joy and freedom when we are the ones in need. 
 
Buffalo people are wonderful teachers and leaders on this spiritual path. Sometimes they are well aware of their abilities, past lives and lessons, and other times they must relearn these things before developing fully. Having a reserve, or better still, a flowing of spiritual and emotional fortitude will serve them, and everyone around them, well. Many people mistake these gentle and placid individuals as weak or unable to endure. Nothing could be farther from the truth! In all likelihood, the biggest challenges such people face is accepting these qualities in themselves and maintaining a good way of life along a path filled with trials and temptations.
 
It must be difficult to always feel as if our life is not our own, but rather is meant to be lived always at the service of our people and All Our Relations...yet, still live well and without depleting one's self. After all, if we don't take care of ourselves, we can't be there to give to anyone else! We should never deny who we are, deny tears or laughter we feel the need to shed, deny the talents that are ours to develop, or the gifts we have been given, especially the painful ones. To do so would be as shameful, wasteful, sorrowful, and wantonly destructive as the senseless mass killings that almost destroyed the Bison herds forever!

Buffalo people know in their hearts that all things are sacred and should be treated with respect, sometimes they just forget to include themselves in this thinking! Sacrifice does not always mean what we think it does. Most often, it is our own pride that needs to be sacrificed. Wise as a Buffalo person may be, they are falliable too and often need to restrain themselves from "helping". Knowing when to lend a wise or helping hand and when to allow another to learn at their own pace and in their own way is a Bison lesson. So is developing our Spiritual Awareness. Buffalo symbolizes our innate and sacred Unity with Creator and All Our Relations. Bison appears in cave drawings from Palaeolithic times, and endures today even in the ever-dwindling prairies of North America. How does this quietly powerful Teacher appear in your life?

"Oh, Great Spirit
Whose voice I hear in the winds,
And whose breath gives life to all the world,
hear me, I am small and weak,
I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold
the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have
made and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand the things
you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have
hidden in every leaf and rock.

I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy - myself.
Make me always ready to come to you
with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my Spirit may come to you without shame."

(translated from Lakota Sioux Chief Yellow Lark in 1887)
Earth, Teach Me

"Earth teach me quiet - as the grasses are still with new light.
Earth teach me suffering - as old stones suffer with memory.
Earth teach me humility - as blossoms are humble with beginning.
Earth teach me caring - as mothers nurture their young.
Earth teach me courage- as the tree that stands alone.
Earth teach me limitation- as the ant that crawls on the ground.
Earth teach me freedom - as the eagle that soars in the sky.
Earth teach me acceptance - as the leaves that die each fall.
Earth teach me renewal - as the seed that rises in the spring.
Earth teach me to forget myself - as melted snow forgets its life.
Earth teach me to remember kindness - as dry fields weep with rain."

 Ute Prayer

Key Concepts: Self-Sacrifice, Divine Will, Right Thought coupled with Right Action, Prayer, Faith, Spirit, Abundance, Gratitude, Honor, Duty, Unity, Strength, Harmony, connection with Earth and All Our Relations, Wisdom, Patience, Life/Death/Rebirth, Endurance, Service 

Associated with: White Buffalo Calf Woman, Tur, Veles, Belenus, Hathor, Bel, Creator, Anu, Mars, Apollo, Morrigan, Brighid, Krishna, Shiva,  Lahar, Zeus, Dionysus, Boann

Potential Balancing Energies: Wolf, Coyote, Dog, Fox, Cougar, Raptors like Raven, Owl, Eagle or Hawk, Birds like Vulture, Crow, Meadowlark, Goldfinch, or Cow bird, Grizzly Bear, Fly, Ant, Bee, Earthworm, Plants like Grasses & Sedges (like Buffalo grass, Big Bluestem grass, Sage, Sweetgrass, Tobacco, Cedar, Trees like Cottonwood, Apple, or Willow, Amphibians like frogs and salamanders, Cattle, Goat, sheep, Bat, Prarie Dog, Mouse